I recently dined at Stockholders Steakhouse in Weymouth, Massachusetts, with high hopes and an empty stomach, ready to indulge in their $50 Porterhouse steak. Spoiler alert: my stomach left emptier than my wallet! 💸😅

Let’s get into the facts. A true Porterhouse steak is a cut fit for royalty. By definition, it’s a T-bone cut from the rear end of the short loin, meaning it has both a sizable strip steak on one side and a tender, buttery filet mignon on the other. 🍖 According to USDA standards, the tenderloin portion of a Porterhouse must be at least 1.25 inches thick at its widest point to qualify for the name. Anything less is just a sad excuse for a steak. 🥴

And size? A proper Porterhouse should be hefty – at least 1.5 to 3 inches thick and weighing in at 24-30 ounces before cooking. It’s meant to be a showstopper, a steak you can share (or tackle solo if you’re feeling ambitious). What I got at Stockholders, however, was thin and disappointing, more like a low-tier sirloin in disguise. 🤥 The steak lacked the rich marbling, thickness, and tenderness that make a Porterhouse the prized cut it’s supposed to be.

Adding to the disappointment, I specifically asked for my steak to be cooked medium rare, the gold standard for a good steak to retain its juices and tenderness. But what arrived at my table was very clearly medium. 😑 Now, I understand that when a steak is as thin as the one I received, it’s nearly impossible to nail the correct doneness. By the time you try to sear the outside, the inside is already overcooked. So what do you expect from a steak this thin? Not much, unfortunately.

To top it all off, the irony of the night was that the steak tips on the menu had more body and presence than the Porterhouse! 😅 The tips were thicker, juicier, and far closer to what I expected from a steakhouse meal. Imagine paying for the king of cuts and walking away jealous of someone else’s steak tips. 🤦‍♂️ At that point, I almost wished I’d gone for the “lesser” option!

That said, the meal wasn’t a total loss. Our waitress, Brianna, was an absolute gem! 💎 She was friendly, attentive, and made us feel genuinely cared for. If I could review Brianna alone, she’d get five stars and a standing ovation. 👏🏽 If only the food could rise to her level of excellence!

In summary, Stockholders needs to step up its steak game. A Porterhouse steak should be a feast, not a disappointment. At $50 a plate, I expected a cut that met industry standards in both size and quality. Instead, I left feeling like I paid premium prices for bargain-bin meat. 🥩💔 Brianna’s top-notch service softened the blow, but unless the kitchen gets its act together, I’ll stick to grilling my own steaks at home – thick, juicy, cooked medium rare, and with more body than steak tips. 🔥

Stockholders, if you’re reading this: you’re a steakhouse. Bring the steakhouse experience back to life!