El Conquistador Resort — Hotel in Fajardo

El Conquistador Resort Review – Real Talk||We got to El Conquistador in Fajardo on a Monday evening, just as the sun was going down. There are two big Hertz signs right next to the little shuttle carts out front, so I parked our Hertz rental there after double-checking with a couple bellhops and even the Hertz desk manager. They all said we were good to go.||Check-in was smooth, and the front desk folks were friendly enough.||When we got to our room, I realized it was not what we booked. The view was just a sideways glance at the shoreline, not a full ocean view, and to make things worse, there were stairs. Not ideal for dragging luggage up and down. We told the bellhop right away, and he called the main office to help us switch. Props to him for sorting it out fast. We got moved to a real ocean-view room on the fourth floor with high ceilings and an elevator this time. That made a huge difference. Still, kinda weird that “mistake” happened in the first place.||The bathroom was a letdown. The water only got lukewarm, and the sink drained super slow. Not a deal-breaker, but definitely not five-star quality.||On our first day, we ate dinner at the resort, and honestly, it was also the last time we chose to eat there. We tried Ballyhoo Bar & Grill. My wife ordered a steak, and what came out looked and tasted more like meatloaf—and was way too rare. The flan dessert was so tiny it looked like a joke. Tres leches was better, but nothing justified the high price. If you want real value and good food, skip the resort restaurant. There are tons of local spots in Fajardo that are way better and cheaper. Ask a bellhop for suggestions or just explore. That’s half the fun.||Now, about those funicular elevators everyone talks about. They’re cool in theory, but honestly, they’re unpredictable. Sometimes both cars would go up at once, sometimes both would go down. During the day, they actually have elevator operators posted there, but it really just feels like they’re there for show. Mostly, they just stand around and let people in and out, but you can tell they’re not actually running anything. At night, there are no operators and the elevators run on their own. The whole setup feels old and overdue for maintenance. If you look close, you’ll see rust everywhere on the structure. The main cable looks okay, but the rest of it? Not exactly confidence-inspiring.||One odd thing happened: my wife said hi to one of the elevator operators, an older guy with gray-white hair. He didn’t say a word back—just acted strange and moved around kind of erratically, like he didn’t want to be there, or maybe something else was going on. Either way, it came off as rude, and it left us both wondering what was up with that interaction.||And here’s another thing: the construction crews weren’t just making noise during the day—they were actually working on what looked like a major renovation project (restoration) right in the section close to our hotel rooms. They seemed to be trying to fix up or restore that part of the hotel to make it look better. It was hard to ignore the banging and activity. So the relaxing island resort vibe was pretty much gone during the day.||Fajardo itself is packed with good food and chill bars, and you’re not stuck eating at the hotel unless you want to be. There are beachfront ceviche spots, cozy taco joints, and even some rum bars where you can catch live music at night. Just walk or drive a few minutes off the resort and you’ll find plenty of local gems to try. For my money, you’ll get better flavor and a way more local vibe this way than eating at the resort.||Also, watch out for random upcharges or menus with “market price” but no actual numbers. Always check if the tip is included and don’t be afraid to ask questions before you order.||While staying at the resort, I noticed at least three stray dogs regularly roaming the property. They seemed friendly enough, and most of the time they just shied away from people, which was totally fine by me. But there was one incident where two dogs barked loudly at each other—not a real fight, but loud enough to be noticed. One of them ended up scaring a young toddler who was right next to one of the rooms. I didn’t actually see anyone feeding the dogs, but I did see the staff put out water bowls for them, so I assume they get fed somehow. The dogs just lay around like the resort is their home, which honestly doesn’t bother me—except for the fact that they use the grass as their bathroom. You could see evidence of this in different patches of grass right next to the rooms. If you’re going to let dogs hang around the resort, they should at least be trained to use a designated area instead of just doing their business anywhere. Otherwise, it’s kind of off-putting for guests.||Here’s where the game room got on my nerves. They have about four pool tables in the game area, but unfortunately, there were no posted rules for how long anyone could play. So what happens? People would just hog the tables for hours. Seriously, I’d leave to do other activities, come back later, and the same crew would still be camped out at the same table, sometimes even holding spots for their friends. If you’re not part of their group or don’t know them, you’re pretty much locked out. Your only shot at getting a table is waiting until after midnight or getting up early, which isn’t realistic if you’ve got excursions or want to actually enjoy your vacation. All they need is a decent rule, a timing system, or at least somebody managing the area so everyone can get a turn.||When I finally got to play, it was on the backup table outside, right next to the pool area in the hot and humid air—even at night. That table was in disarray, missing a cue stick and the white ball, but I still managed to play a few games with my daughter and she enjoyed it. Still, it was annoying thinking about the whole pool table situation. To add to that, I actually asked someone who’d been on a table for hours if they were leaving soon so I could get a chance to play with my daughter, and of course, the person just said, "No, we’re going to be playing here for a while." Kind of ridiculous—if you give people unlimited access with no rules, some will take full advantage and others miss out.||Now, let me talk about one of the most stressful and frustrating parts of the stay—the whole situation with parking and the rude bellhop. One night, after we got back from a really good meal at a local diner, all we wanted to do was go back to our room and relax. Instead, we ran into this bellhop (who switched from friendly to loud real quick) who told us we couldn’t keep parking in the Hertz spot out front, even though everyone told us it was fine before. He insisted that the spot was only for Hertz drop-offs, which made zero sense—because most people renting from Hertz are using the car to get to and from the hotel or the airport, not just dropping off. The logic was just annoying. When we first pulled up, he looked really friendly—probably thought we had just arrived and would need him to check us in and handle our luggage, maybe expecting a tip. But once he realized we were already checked in and didn’t need help with luggage, his whole vibe changed. He got loud and obnoxious, telling us we couldn’t park there, even though we’d already asked multiple people from the resort and been told it was fine. Honestly, it seemed like he was only interested in helping us if there was a tip in it for him. I almost wanted to question him or get a manager involved, but my wife told me not to cause a scene. If I had been there alone, I probably would have pushed back, because the whole situation was ridiculous and the rules weren’t clear.||Once we parked in the remote lot, here’s another headache: unless you tell someone at the front desk or bellhop in advance that you’re about to park there, don’t expect the shuttle cart to magically show up. There’s no button, phone, or system to notify staff you’re waiting. So if you’re disabled, elderly, or just not able to walk the distance, you’re left hoping a shuttle rolls by eventually, or you’re hoofing it with your bags. They really need a way for guests to call for a pickup, especially for anyone who can’t walk far.||We took the boat over to Palomino Island, which is beautiful, but only one boat was running that day. Getting there was easy, but coming back took forever. We waited through three boatloads of people before we finally got on. Staff did hand out water and beer to help with the wait, but it still felt pretty disorganized for a big-name resort.||Most of the staff were nice, but there were some misses. That elevator operator encounter really stood out as one of the weird ones.||We also did the van tour of El Yunque National Forest. The tour guide was all right—he tried his best to keep us entertained with a few jokes, though honestly, most of them just didn’t land. English probably wasn’t his first language, and that’s totally fine, but the effort to be funny and entertaining just didn’t really come through. Still, he did what he could, and I respect the hustle. The last stop was a beautiful river spot, where we finally got to relax and watch people and locals jump in and out of the water. It was the kind of place you could easily stay for hours just soaking up the atmosphere. Unfortunately, our guide seemed to be in a rush, so we didn’t get to enjoy it nearly as long as we wanted. There is honestly so much to experience in the rainforest. You could spend days there exploring. It’s paradise on earth and one of those rare places I genuinely want to come back to just so I can see it all at my own pace. The tour overall was just adequate—nothing fancy, and honestly, nothing the guide said was anything I couldn’t have just Googled on my phone if I wanted to learn more about local plants, bugs, or whatever. The tour felt overpriced for what it was, and especially inconvenient at the end when we felt rushed out of a beautiful spot. If you’re thinking about doing a tour, you’re probably better off just renting a car and exploring on your own so you’re not on anyone else’s schedule.||Here’s something to remember: Puerto Rico is one of those places you could easily spend a month in and still feel like you’ve only scratched the surface. A week is just the tip of the iceberg—I honestly wish I would have stayed longer, of course at a different resort. There’s just so much to experience, and the more time you spend here, the better you get to know what makes the island special.||A few things to keep in mind: Try local food spots for better meals and prices. Be patient with the elevators and boats; they run on their own schedule. Ask every time you park, and get the rules in writing if you can. The area looks rough at first, but the locals are nice. Just stay aware, like anywhere. Budget extra time for everything. With construction, stray dogs, and weird logistics, don’t expect a smooth five-star experience.||Would I go back? Maybe if they fix the place up and finish the renovations. Until then, I’d stick with Fajardo’s local gems and do more exploring on my own.||Hope this helps someone else plan a...

The Resort is huge and beautifully kept. The views are spectacular. But as always, the luxury of a hotel is not defined by the brand of the mattress or the thickness of the towels (which are fine), but by the feeling a guest gets during the stay. And there the trouble starts…

Check-in was very friendly and efficient, room was clean. Two bottles of water in the room for three registered guests - strange planning.

We booked this place for the water park as we had two kids with us. The slides are only to be used if you are at least 48inches tall. They told me that this restriction is on their website, but for sure there is no obvious warning easily visible if you surf the page because I did and didn’t find it at first glance.

Turns out, it doesn’t matter how old you are or how good you swim. My daughter is small for her age, and is a YMCA certified safe swimmer - of course I had the certificate with me. But, no exceptions. They rather let a big kid who cannot swim drown there than a safe swimmer use the facilities. No questions asked, just the size matters. I also couldn’t go with my kid as this is also forbidden by some strange rule that doesn’t make any sense logically. Same goes for the slide where you use inflatable rings to use it. I am not allowed to hold my child but she cannot use it on her own “because she could slip through”. Just a reminder, there is the slide directly under the ring, the water in between is about one inch deep. Where should she slip to if she did? There is just no room to go anywhere that would be dangerous at all. My third try was to sign a waiver, but they did not allow these, either. Result: we couldn’t use the slides no matter what, the reason we booked this ridiculously overpriced place. So, they not only are inflexible and not logically at all, they endanger kids who are tall but cannot swim by not giving a damn and also tell you some legal bullshit which has nothing to do with the actual laws. You got really bad advice if a lawyer actually made your rules, guys. Praying that nothing happens in the future because this will be torn apart in court if, god forbid, a tall but not swimming kids hurts itself. Are you kidding me?

Oh, they have another perk: a beautiful island for swimming and sunbathing. We were told the ferry runs every hour, and if we hurry, we catch the 3pm. We literally ran through the resort, it’s huge, and arrived in time. And we were told that there is no boat today, only tomorrow. After making some fuzz a superviszcame and told us that the boat still runs but today at 3.15; ok, fine. We visited the water park in the meantime and were told to be back at 3.15 sharp, so we did everything in a hurry. And we waited. And waited. At 3:35 the boat wast ready to go and we cancelled the trip, because with 20 minutes per direction travel time and the boat going back still sailing at 4pm (with no adjustments at all to the delay) we had had only 5 minutes on the island. Are you kidding me?

No one at reception or at operators line (I called) knew anything about changed schedules. imho, you either have a schedule and adhere to it or you say “running without schedule”, but telling guest to hurry and then not going is a no go.

As I learned from my experience, I asked before planning my way back from the island at the jetty: “today, Sir, the boat even runs every 30 minutes”. When we planned our lunch accordingly and showed up in time, I was told “the crew has its break now, no boat until the full hour”. Are you kidding me? What did I ask for 45 minutes earlier? Do they do surprise breaks?

Pool attendants and waiters at the restaurant were very nice and fitted right to a luxury place like this; Jacob even made it possible to charge the kids for just one bowl of cereal (6$ each) instead of having to book the buffet for them.

Waiters at the water park bar ignored me for 5 minutes (without any other guest ahead of me) and then took my order slip without talking to me. Very bored guys, inpolite as hell.

Each moment where I wondered if they are kidding me...

This hotel has amazing potential. I was not impressed at first but after a few days I fell in love with the hotel. The hotel itself is absolutely stunning as are the grounds. Beautifully kept. The drive up to the hotel is magnificent. I don't play golf but their golf course certainly made me wish that I did! Our room was in the Vista section which has been newly remodeled. We had a beautiful view of everything, the ocean, the pools, the hotel. My only complaint about the room was the shower and the AC. The shower did not have a door. There was a glass partition dividing the shower from the bathroom but water still went everywhere. I had to mop up the floor after taking a shower. Also, the AC worked really well! (odd complaint but I get cold easily). We would turn it up to 74 degrees but it stayed at 70 degrees. We turned the unit off and it blew cold air continuously. However, when you opened the balcony door the AC turned off and that helped warm the room up. Also, the first night the service was completely awful. It was Super Bowl night and we were in their bar which was packed. They did not have enough wait staff (bartenders, waiters/waitresses, chefs). We waited two hours to get a pizza and I am not sure we would have received it if we had not kept reminding the waitress. Getting drinks was the same. I must say, that being our first night, I was not impressed. The next morning at Ventana's for breakfast was equally bad. It was 15 minutes before the waiter showed up, then another 10 minutes before we received our water and coffee and then another 45 minutes before we received our food. It was obvious our food had been sitting under the heat lamps for a good while as my eggs were rubbery and dry. Not impressed at all. We had a company meeting that night with about 50 people present. The hotel served a wonderful buffet but were short on dessert. They ran out of dessert after 1/2 the people had been served and never replenished it. After that the service improved. We had breakfast at Ventanas the next few mornings and. the service was excellent as was the food. Juan was our waiter and was efficient and very friendly. We ate dinner twice at ballyhoos, once at the bar and once in the restaurant. Odalys, the bartender at ballyhoos was amazing and the food is excellent. The hotels water park was a blast. You take the tram down to the marina area. This area is separate from the main hotel. Ballyhoos is down here, along with the marina and water park. It appears they have some rooms open down here and they are continuing to repair/remodel other rooms. The water park/kids pool has a snack bar area and restrooms. If you are in the main hotel it is a bit of a hike to get there but the tram is fun and gives a wonderful view of the hotel and ocean. We spent a day at the water park and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. The ferry to the private island is also in this area. It is about a 15-20 minute ride to this island. I am not a beach girl but it was well maintained with lots of umbrellas and chairs. There is a nice restaurant on the island and they bring drinks and food to your lounge chair. You can rent a cabana but it is not enclosed, just a larger umbrella covered with palm fronds. There is also a nice restroom with outdoor showers for rinsing off. As I stated, we got off to a rocky start but it smoothed out. Staff members were friendly, rooms were comfortable and well maintained, beautiful pools and landscaping, driving distance of many points of interest. Given time, training and money, this hotel has the potential to be a 5 star hotel with one on the most magnificent grounds and views to have. I wish them continued success as they continue to remodel...