il Mercato Centrale Melbourne — Restaurant in Melbourne

I walked into Mercato Central expecting something special, but what I got was a masterclass in how to disappoint on every level. The kind of place that looks great in a magazine spread, but the minute you’re actually there, it feels like a slap in the face. Everything about this place screams, “We’re trying too hard,” from the dim lighting meant to create ambiance but instead making you feel like you’re eating in a cave, to the confusing QR code ordering system that leaves you wondering if your food will ever arrive.

And when the food did arrive? Well, let’s just say I paid $36 for a small bowl of pasta with guanciale, served in a cardboard bowl, no less. A cardboard bowl. It’s hard to make food feel more cheap and soulless, but they managed it. At a price point like that, you’d expect something that at least attempts to elevate the experience. Instead, it felt like a takeaway order disguised as a dining experience, and not a good one at that.

Update 27/10/2024: Here’s an updated take on the food, given the recent attention this review has stirred up. In our group of six, we sampled a decent spread. The arancini balls—one variety with gorgonzola and the other with wagyu beef—weren’t terrible, but they weren’t anything memorable either. Just average bites that lacked any real punch. Then came the pizzas: a margherita and another with pork and capsicum. These were the unexpected highlight of the meal, the only items that had any real flavor or character.

We also had calamari and chips. Not bad; the calamari was tender and nicely seasoned, holding up better than much of what we ordered. But then, there was the cacio e pepe—a disaster in its own right. Imagine a watery, flavorless bowl of pasta that looked like it might have been an afterthought. Unseasoned, runny, and barely resembling the classic it was meant to emulate. In the end, it was a meal that could only be described as a mixed bag, with one or two decent dishes surrounded by mediocrity and disappointment.

The real kicker? The customer service. Cold, unhelpful, uninterested. The staff couldn’t care less if you were there or not. I stood waiting at the pasta bar, being ignored as I tried to figure out whether my order was ready, only to be told, after what felt like an eternity, that I was standing in the wrong pick-up area. It’s one thing to have an off day, but it felt like everyone working there was checked out, like they’d all decided that helping customers was beneath them.

This place felt like it was designed for people who care more about getting a cool Instagram shot than actually eating good food. The staff clearly weren’t invested, the atmosphere was all show with no substance, and the food—while not terrible—certainly didn’t justify the price or the hassle. In a city like Melbourne, where you can find incredible food around every corner, there’s no excuse for this kind of mediocrity.

Mercato Central is the kind of place that thinks it can survive on aesthetics alone, but it’s missing the key ingredients: care, connection, and a respect for the food they’re serving. Without those, it’s just another flash-in-the-pan hotspot that’ll burn out when people realize they can get better food, better service, and a better experience just about anywhere else...

I drove from Geelong to Melbourne, prepared to pay the extravagant parking fees, so that I could relive the wonderful food culture of Italy and bring home a pantry full of Italian artisan goods from il Mercato Centrale.

I couldn't have been more disappointed. il Mercato Centrale advertises that it is open from 7am, so I aimed to be there around 10am for a late breakfast, especially looking forward to enjoying a slice or two of Italy's delicious tortes. However, not only does no one sell them, most of the vendors were yet to open for the day. So three hours after their advertised opening time, I walked into a massive void with closed stands and hundreds of empty chairs and tables.

There are spaces for 23 artisans, but six are vacant. The screens around the venue play continuous videos of their latest food stall, a Texan Barbecue. Not sure what is Italian about a Texan Barbecue, the Turkish Gozleme stand, the seafood stand selling lobster and prawn rolls or "Smash Burger", advertised as "Authentic American flavours."

My plan was to take home fresh pasta and a separate container of sauce, to have for dinner, along with some authentic Italian cheese, such as Parmigiano Reggiano. Apart from the fact no one makes fresh pasta, which we are led to believe is made on the spot to take home, no one sells sauce that has been made on site and no one sells cheese. At least I'll be able to locate a deli and buy a selection of cured meats? No one sells cured meats here either.

I asked one of the stands if I could buy some of his chicken pesto pasta, but he doesn't sell take away. He had to ask his neighbour for take away containers, then charged me as if he were heating it up and serving it to me there. Turns out the pasta is out of a packet and also not an "artisan" product. I ended up buying a $12 sour dough loaf, some cannoli and macarons to try and justify a return trip of two and half hours and $40 for fuel and parking. At this point, I gave up and headed back to the carpark to drive back home.

So if you are looking for authentic Italian artisan food, do not waste your time or money going here. Almost all the foods Italy is most famous for are not available at il Mercato Centrale. If you are after a catch up place for a coffee and meal because you work nearby and are not there for an authentic Italian food experience, then this is for you. However, if you love Italian cured meats, hand made pasta, slow cooked sauces, a range of some of the 2,500 different types of cheeses Italy is famous for; then look for a local deli, because you won't find any of those...

We were very excited to visit the Melbourne iteration of the famous Italian il Mercato Centrale, having visited several of these successful venues while in Italy last month. The Italian versions are bustling centres of food and culture, with unmatched efficiency and top-notch food quality. The tone of these places is all about good food and sampling as many delights as you can. And there is an incredible variety, both of stores, and within the stores themselves. We were bitterly disappointed at Melbourne’s version, and surprised that the food capital of the country couldn't get a relatively simple concept right, even with the blueprint of the Italian counterpart behind it. There are a lot of reviews on here already attesting to the soulless setup, and this is true. The place feels like a perhaps fancier food court to grab a quick bite between shopping. It seems as though it is going through a teenage identity crisis, unsure if it wants to rebel or if it wants to adhere. The biggest disappointment, however, would have to be the quality of food and its price. I’ve seen some responses to reviews on here from the venue saying that the serving sizes of pasta have been increased, and I would say that this is absolute rubbish. To pay $28 for a cold paper bowl of about 7 pieces of tortellini is just criminal. How it was cold when it was supposedly cooked to order is baffling. And then, not only was $16 for a cone of five prawns and a handful of chips exorbitant, but I watched in horror as the man at the store simply took already-cooked chips and prawns out of a hot bain marie, chuck them in hot oil, and serve them to me. They were oil-logged, tasteless, and had absolutely no integrity. Then, we were served a $24 cocktail that was made simply from premix with some soda water and more ice than liquid. The wines were reasonable, but at one stall they were not able to talk with me about the wines on offer nor provide advice. Elsewhere, I would have expected an interesting range of local and craft beers as compared to the typical fare one can get down at the local corner pub. Each store does not have much variety, and did not feel to be showcasing the character of local cuisine nor the Italian influences inherent in the cuisine types that were offered. For two people, we spent about $150 on what can only be described as snack food, and left hungry and with a sour taste...