Jack the Geezer — Restaurant in Melbourne

Overall, it was a very disappointing experience.

Living around the area, my partner and I had always driven past this cafe & really wanted to go as it looked wonderful with outdoor seating in a lovely part of town. The interior was nice & the price was reasonable considering the area. Food selection was also pretty good & the variety of coffee/tea & smoothies were also covered.

Unfortunately, that's where the compliments stop. Whilst we were greeted upon arrival & asked if we'd like a coffee, we requested to take a minute to look over the menu before ordering. That minute turned into 15-20 minutes before we were even acknowledged or served as all staff continually walked past & ignored us. There were 5 girls on floor that morning! It was only the barista that actually signalled one of the staff members in our direction to take our order when he noticed my partner glaring in his direction.

Whilst I acknowledge that my coffee was good, the food was average at best. Portion size was generous (The Full Monte) however, it was very bland to taste with only the pork/fennel sausage adding any excitement to the meal. My partner ordered 'The Mixed Berry Hotcakes/Pancakes' which were very dry & crumbly but to compensate, were drowned with a blueberry compote with large pieces of star anise, which perhaps staff had forgotten to remove prior to serving. (Had anyone not been as cautious & taken a bite, this could have hurt or been quite a nasty suprise).

Lastly, the toilet was not as clean as it should have been nor was it well maintained. A third of the porcelain lid for actual toilet unit was missing presumably cracked/broken and never replaced....

“Geezer (noun) definition - a man, often old or unusual in some way”

Jack the Geezer, self-deprecating, tongue in cheek.

An English vibe, while not obvious from the exterior – the vibe transfers in the menu. With menu items like ‘The Full Monte’ ‘Piccadilly Grocer’ and the ‘Ashes Caesar’ you can see where the inspiration comes from.

I was invited along with some of Melbourne's most prominent restaurant reviewers to try some of the menu items at Jack the Geezer.

To go with the theme, I decided to have the corned beef burger. This was a nice change from your traditional beef or chicken. Proper corned beef (not the tinned variety) has a comfort feel and for a lot of Australians/English people – this is something they remember from their childhood. Severely underrated – the burger is definitely worth a try.

The other dishes that others tried looked visually stunning – something I wasn’t not expecting and therefore was pleasantly surprised. The standout was the pancakes with mixed berries, they were very fluffy.

Service was great and the food came out very quickly. I also had a chai which was tastily comforting. The interior is warm and straddles between spacious and comforting. A great option in the Port Melbourne area, there’s no pretension with this place but their outputs rival anything that’s big on Instagram...

If I could give this 1/2 star i would!

First we went in and waited 10 minutes, then we went and got our own menus, not the best service to start.

When I went in to order they asked what table, I showed them and they were fine with it. I went back and sat down and maybe 10 minutes later a girl came to take our order, we just looked at her dumbfounded..

Coffees came out quick, not the best but drinkable, always a shame when you order a flat white and get more foam than a cappuccino.

The wait for food was a bit long, especially when everyone that was there already had food.

When it came out they took it to the wrong table first, maybe a newbie mistake or maybe just not caring.

As my wife took a mouthful her first reaction was taking the long curly blonde hair out of her mouth. They insisted on remaking her food.

The eggs benedict was not very nice, a powerful amount of avocado which might not be an issue for most, but when it's not been seasoned at all its not great. The potato "rosti" was overcooked potato mash with the inside still quite cold, which that seemed to taste incredibly bad. One poached egg was over cooked and the yolk was firm while the other was undercooked with part of the white being clear and raw.

Overall, a very...