I told our waiter I would not leave a review, but I must warn others to stay away from tourist trap “La Table d’Hôtes”. I anticipate they will reply to this as they do to other negative reviews by placing the blame on one’s expectations with no accountability or offer to make anything better. There's no room to complain in the experience because you are sitting with ten strangers; we didn't want to ruin anyone's evening by being upset in front of them or abruptly leaving; I waited to complain until we were paying. The waiter did not apologize.

My husband and I live in the San Francisco area and have eaten at many Michelin and fine dining establishments, both in the US and abroad. I speak and understand some French, my husband does not, but I do not think that being fluent would have changed our poor experience.

First of all, I wish to be quite clear that this review is about the high-end La Table d’Hôtes, and not the brasserie upstairs. These restaurants being combined here is misleading.

When we arrived, the host confused our reservation and sat us at the brasserie, where we sat for awhile, unattended, before someone else came to our table, informed us a mistake had been made, and that we were supposed to be downstairs.

Our waiter had an unkempt appearance, with a wrinkled uniform and a gaudy name tag that seemed all very casual for a meal that would ultimately top 500€ for us.

The sommelier, in an equally unkempt polo and name tag (similar to McDonalds uniforms) who could not pour a pairing-size pour consistently all night with very little understanding of basic wine service etiquette, glasses on people’s lefts, rights, and not even all pre-set at the table when we sat down. There was a miscommunication and she thought my husband and I were sharing the pairing, which was corrected when she came back and gave my husband and I comically large pours. She proceeded to give us both extra booze all night because I think she wanted to get us drunk and thought we were uncultured Americans.

The pairing (75€ pp) featured the cheapest wines from top producers. It featured entirely white wines, with the exception of one red, which was a disappointment.

After the unimaginative appetizer of bread and butter, we were put on a video conference with Etchebest after watching a short, trailer for the restaurant. It was a strange, reality TV show experience.

The first course was where my path began to diverge due to my allergies, which - to the restaurant’s credit - were handled well. My husband was presented with a fried oyster, and a mollusk paste that resembled imitation crab. I got a burnt piece of root vegetable with a horrible combination of flavors in a foam. We ate, hoping it could get better.

Then, a tepid and salty mushroom soup.

Next, a small slice of tasteless foie gras enveloped in a brioche covering with a passion fruit sauce. It looked nothing like a recent picture of this dish that the restaurant posted on social media.

The fourth course was another diversion for me; I received two large pieces of a veal chop that were out of proportion with the fish that was presented to the other guests. My veal was cold, tough and dry. My husband’s fish was unseasoned and accompanied by inedible mussels that most people pushed around their plates.

The final main course was duck à l’orange, which may have been the only dish I may describe from our experience as tasty.

The two dessert courses were simply bad. A salted crumble with olives and chocolate mousse, accompanied by what I can only describe as a martini slushie. Then the final straw was a rancid burrata served with rocket and underripe strawberries.

Dining near the kitchen was noisy and underwhelming. I pity these young chefs who think they are achieving something by working under this self-important little man Etchebest.

The scratched Christofle silverware was a gimmick.

It certainly was a night at the opera, where one watched the performance of a dining establishment crash the lowest expectations. I'm embarrassed of our waste of time and money.