Le Calife — Restaurant in Paris

Thank you for the opportunity to share our experience with Le Calife on the evening dinner cruise on Wednesday, June 18th. We traveled to France from New York to celebrate our wedding Anniversary and (Annie’s) 60th birthday. We chose this as the most elegant way to do this in Paris.

Shortly after we were seated on the upper deck, a party of 12 arrived – six adults and six pre-adolescent children (2 girls, 4 boys, ranging in age from approximately 9 to 14 years). Rather than sitting per the reservation, the parents/grandparents requested to sit at one table of six and place the children at a table for six on the other side of the deck. The children’s table was next to ours. Within five minutes there was fighting about “who would get the window seat,” my pocketbook and sweater was knocked off my chair, there was yelling to and from the parents across the boat, and a child was in and out of the window seat (brushing past our table) at least 10 times.

We notified our hostess that this was not acceptable to us. We asked that the children all be seated with an adult at the table. She explained that the family wished to seat themselves differently, but that she would speak to the parents, which she did. The parents did not wish to change the seating arrangement. Our hostess then spoke to the children about expected behavior on the boat. After speaking to the children, she reported back to us that the children “were going to be better behaved now.” While well-intentioned, her experience with pre-adolescent children was certainly not robust.

Within 5 minutes of the cruise pulling away from shore, we felt trapped, overwhelmed, and without recourse. Over the next 2 ½ hours we endured:

Fighting over the seats, fighting over handheld video games, fighting over food, fighting over just about anything; Continued yelling to and from parents across the boat; 50+ events of children up and down from the table; The girls becoming angered by the boys, and moving to the parents table, leaving only boys at the children’ s table; Thereafter: pretend stabbings and slaughterings with the knives on the table; Eating without utensils and wiping of hands on the tablecloth; Standing up in the aisle to play with a lighted yo-yo; Three more times that I had to pick up my pocketbook and sweater from the floor; Tablecloths sliding off the children’s table, once taking a wine glass with it that shattered at my feet; Complaints from the children to the hostess about displeasure with the food, prompting inordinate amounts of bread brought to the table for their cutting and mouth-stuffing pleasure; One boy deciding to lay down on the bench to play his video game leaving no room for another boy on that side…so the second boy instead stood up on the bench where we were seated to look out of our window (behind my husband - see photos as were trying to capture the moments for our memories…so many photos were ruined by these children); And so much more.

The parents of these children came to the table on two occasions, for five minutes each, to praise the children for their cooperation in allowing the adults an enjoyable evening. This was maddening. Also infuriating was listening to these adults joyfully sharing a relaxing evening at their table across the boat.

The hostess expressed her exasperation to us for being put in the position of being an unfunded babysitter who was waiting for the next wineglass to tumble from the table. She offered us extra alcohol and apologized profusely.

We have no complaints with the staff on the cruise, or the food, but only with the company’s policy. We have six children ourselves and are hardly unaware parents. Le Calife’s decision to allow this “children only table” seating arrangement needs to be made transparent to the public. We would have never...

Stunning Views, Disappointing Service & Value

We recently booked a dinner cruise for my wife's birthday, hoping for a memorable experience. While the views from the upper deck were indeed extraordinary and account for most of the 2-star rating, the overall experience fell far short of our expectations, especially for the significant cost of nearly £500 for two adults and two children (including a £45 per person "Royal Menu" upcharge). Upon arrival, we were promptly greeted and seated by a very nice gentleman. Our server was initially pleasant, complimenting my wife and explaining the "Royal Menu" upgrade, which we accepted. This supposedly included a full bottle of wine and some starting champagne. However, the service quickly deteriorated. We experienced significant delays: We had to repeatedly ask for our champagne and the children's lemonade (which was an extra charge, despite the substantial menu price). Butter for the bread arrived much later, only after we reminded the server. It took over an hour to receive any food, by which point the children had finished their first lemonades. When we asked for more, we were informed that absolutely nothing else, not even water, was included without further payment. Be prepared to pay extra for everything beyond the initial offerings. The food itself was mediocre. I had salmon for a starter and a rather dry lamb dish for my main. For the price, the quality was comparable to a £30 meal in a regular restaurant. The most frustrating incident occurred with my wife's birthday dessert. Despite ordering chocolate lava cake, she was brought an apple strudel with a candle and "Happy Birthday" sung. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I let it pass. When I later explained the error, the server was initially defensive, claiming my wife had already eaten it. After I firmly stated our expectation given the £500 spent, she eventually brought the correct dessert, but ungracefully remarked, "You are very lucky," instead of apologizing. She did eventually return to apologize, appearing distressed. Compounding the issues, the outdoor upper deck on a 90°F day was uncomfortably hot, making the experience less enjoyable. In summary, the breathtaking views are the only truly positive aspect. The slow service, unexpected extra charges, and average food quality make this cruise, at its current price point, not worth recommending. It felt like we were paying solely for the scenery, not for a quality...

Unfortunately our experience was unforgettable in a bad way due to terrible hospitality. The food was very good so that is where they are able to get any stars. Around 9:20, we suddenly smelled fuel and began moving backwards after turning. We assumed the captain was trying to angle correctly for the bridge, but then we stopped moving and soon saw police boats. We asked a staff member what was going on and he tried to sell us a story that there was bad traffic and we had to wait. This clearly was untrue as plenty of other cruises were passing us. We were not too bothered initially, but after 30 minutes of waiting and no announcement, additional police and paramedics had arrived. My sister went to investigate and finally was able to find out from a responder that one of the propellers had hit the riverbank and gotten stuck. They had to call multiple tows before finding one that could help us. Over an hour later (still with no truthful explanation or communication from Le Calife), we were on our way with a police escort. Within 10 minutes we found ourselves docked. We never went north of the dock, where the Eiffel Tower and other main monuments and sights are. I understand issues happen, but the lack of communication was absolutely unprofessional and unacceptable. Even our server didn’t know we weren’t continuing our journey as she was still taking drink orders while we were approaching to dock. We didn’t even get the choice of tea or latte to end as advertised on the menu. When she brought the patron to our right his drink, he said he didn’t want it anymore because we had docked and she was genuinely shocked. We also never received our bottle of wine (as advertised on the Menu Royale) due to the disruptions. She said she would find out what was going on. Soon the man who said traffic was the issue came by with checks (we hadn’t even ordered anything extra and it’s a prepaid dinner). We said we didn’t order anything but he insisted we did and said they were covering it for us like they did us some kind of service? We then realized it wasn’t even the correct receipt and were shepherded off the boat. Terrible experience due to an understandable accident being handled in the absolute worst, most unprofessional...