I have no idea who is running this place, but Disneyland Paris needs to seriously take notice of what’s going so badly wrong at Chez Remy.

Arrived 5 minutes early for our booking. The restaurant was 3/4 empty, so we thought we’d be seated quickly. Nope. We spent 50 MINUTES in a massively overcrowded waiting room before being finally taken in. Cold and stressful.

My salad starter had a long, disgusting black hair in it. Asked to have it taken back to the kitchen and the waiter replied, ‘The Chef won’t be happy’. Excuse me?! I could give a monkey’s about your terrible chef’s feelings! Bread served with no butter. Asked for butter twice, never received it.

Steak came next. God knows what forsaken old cow this meat came from. Unbelievably sinewy, borderline inedible. Bizarrely both blue and overcooked in different sections. Thin, tough and chewy and flavoursome as old boot leather. The small cup of bernaise sauce was dry and horribly curdled, obviously been sat on a heat lamp for ages. Revolting.

The restaurant had a permanent cold draught, and there was no music. The decor was fun enough, but there was surprisingly little in the way of Ratatouille themed stuff, except for in the waiting room from hell.

There was a floor manager who honestly looked like someone had spat in her porridge. Staff were wandering around aimlessly. I struggled to get refills on drinks. However our waiter did recognise how poorly the whole thing was going, and he did attempt to cheer things up. He was fine. And the lady trying to get control of the waiting room was apologetic and nice. But everything else was terrible.

In short, stay the hell away from Chez Remy. It’s obviously a toxic workplace, and the experience is enough to sour a good day.

Disneyland Paris — SORT THIS OUT. The problems are consistently coming from the same places at Chez Remy, and frankly the prices being charged for such a terrible restaurant experience are borderline criminal. In fact, I am considering reporting the restaurant to the relevant trading standards authority.

Avoid if you value your dignity and sanity. Anyone attempting to sell this as ‘fine dining’ is either insane or lying. The quality is abysmal.