Tres Amigos | Cantina Mexicana & Cocktailbar | Kreuzberg — Restaurant in Berlin

Upon arrival, we dined at a devilishly delicious deutsche restaurant, the food was marvellous, apart from the nightmare of a schnitzel we suffered through. Pink in the middle like some sort of raw Schwein Intestine, my wife was immediately confined to her quarters for the remainder of the day. She vomited like a horse on crack. Because of the wife’s ailment, I decided to spend the rest of the day exploring the neighbourhood, alone. LIttle did I know I would soon be raptured in a scandal. The local tavern’s barkeep was a human-deer hybrid, with sickening red eyes and a gaping mouth. Dazed from the chicken, I stumbled haphazardly into the tavern, fiending for a drink. The barkeep turned to me and all was silent. All of a sudden, the barkeep pulled a flintlock from his undergarments and fired a single shot through my skull, or at least, that was presumably his target - for I caught the hollow point between my teeth. Upon seeing this mind-bending stunt, the patrons of the tavern erupted into frenzied laughter, tipping over their tables, chairs and spilling their refreshing beverages in the process. On account of my witty sense of sardonic humour, I quipped: “When I said I wanted a shot, I didn't mean like that!”. The patrons’ sides were splitting like delicious dessert bananas. “Diamond! You are shining bright, like one” said a patron. Anyways, I bought myself a drink and sat on a stool, commanding one of the patrons to put a song on, using the antique jukebox that was situated in the corner of the establishment (NOTE: though I did not know the song, its cutlass-like sharpness inspired a trance-like state, under which i remained for the rest of the night). I went back to the hotel and my wife, what was now feeling better, was reading a book, what was really interesting to read about the book. “Photograph! Photograph! Photograph” we exclaimed again and again, for hours, or even days? Time flew by like a really quick bird. After a few hours, or even days? We woke up to a beautiful sunrise. The beautiful sunrise was as beautiful as a sunrise. We went downstairs to the hotel restaurant, the food was marvellous, apart from the nightmare of a Leberkäse we suffered through, Pink in the middle like some sort of freakish devil from a gay hell, my husband was immediately confined to her hotel restaurant, the food was marvellous, but she quickly became sickened to the point of hellish death under the grimy fingers of salmonella poisoning, the hotel restaurant immediately confined to a patron of the bar to play music, (Note: Food poisoning positioning in the scuba divers in the ocean off Argentinian Coasts of Hotel restaurant, where the anyways, i Bought myself a drink, cutlass-like) The tupee-like atmosphere of the Argentinian strand, what was really interesting to be on the strand, warmly invited us to a longer visit that previously, and when i say previously i mean before, we had envisioned ourselves in partaking in. Anyway, we went to a greek-irish fusion buffet restaurant. As the waiter approached, to take our order, presumably, we thought of valleys, forests, mountains, rivers. Yes. One pint of the… well… you know the stuff. Nonetheless, some fries, fish, fried foods and the likes of which you may have seen. Yes. The director went on and on and on about his future projects. Projects in which wizards, princesses, evil lords and shriveled masterminds plotted for eons. Yes. Nonetheless, he left in a hurry. He had forgotten about his flight back home. Yes. The food was pinkishly delightful and boyish in nature. 5 stars!!! Good night, it is getting late, and i fear that poltergheists, spirits with mischief in mind are wandering about, looking for prey most tender. All rise for the anthem of our nation. May God damn the damned and save the lambs who have strayed from the path. I need a damn hug. Im so cold and lonely. The nachos were beautiful and the grappa was...

Direkt am Görlitzer Bahnhof gelegener Mexikaner. Man hat hier sowohl drinnen als auch draußen sehr viele Sitzgelegenheiten. Wir haben bei unserem Besuch draußen gesessen, was in Ordnung war. Allerdings muss man schon dazu sagen, dass man wenn man draußen sitzt auch das ganze Elend der unmittelbaren Umgebung mitbekommt. Wir waren gegen Mittag da und wurden mindestens drei Mal sehr aggressiv angebettelt.

Der Service ist sehr nett und spricht unterschiedlich gut deutsch, wobei man mit Englisch aber ohne Probleme weiterkommt. Es gibt eine nette kleine Auswahl an Tex-Mex Gerichten, wobei es auch jeweils eine mindestens vegetarische Variante gibt. Ich hatte die Enchiladas und die waren extrem lecker. Ich habe es schon oft vergebens versucht, in Berlin gute Enchiladas zu finden und das waren bisher die besten. Das war auch das erste Mal, dass ich wirklich leckere schwarze Bohnen dazu bekommen habe. Als Beilage gab es Reis und Salat. Wirklich scharf war das ganze zwar nicht, aber man konnte sich eine aus Mexiko importierte Habanero-Sauce dazu nehmen und die war wirklich gut.

Die Getränke-Karte ist super umfangreich und es wird damit geworben, dass quasi den ganzen Tag Happy Hour ist und es Cocktails für 4,50€ gibt. Natürlich bekommt man dafür dann auch keine Qualitativ hochwertigen Drinks. Mir waren sie insgesamt zu süß und die dafür verwendeten Spirituosen waren die günstigsten. Auf der anderen Seite muss man sagen, dass sie für den geringen Preis ganz okay geschmeckt haben. Ich würde trotzdem nicht unbedingt empfehlen, ausschließlich für Drinks hierher zu kommen. Aber um wirklich gut mexikanisch in Berlin zu essen und dazu vielleicht ein Michelada (Bier mit Limettensaft, Worchester Sauce und Chili) zu trinken, eignet sich der Ort perfekt.

Bei uns war nur Bargeldzahlung möglich, was fairerweise aber vorher auch...

The food was alright and the cocktails were also okay (on the strong side though!) and definitely great price-wise! The service was very unfriendly and we felt like a burden to the waiter/barkeeper. We were also the only guests in the beginning in a weird atmosphere and sat in the dark until some other guests pointed out that they could turn the lights on. The hygiene of the place was absolutely terrible! No soap in the bathroom, the barkeeper filled the ice for our cocktails in with his hands… big ick and def not according to health regulations! Would...