Café Kramer — Restaurant in Amsterdam

Inept, Overbearing, and Shamelessly Grasping. The worst place in all of Amsterdam? I cannot absolutely certify that but definitely in the bottom quintile. Thank the Great Spirit, this was our first but not only, experience of an Amsterdam café. Having (now) another ~20 cafés, restaurants, bars, and coffeeshops under our belts since then, every single one of them - no matter how modest or nittygritty - has been better than the Kramer, so we at least picked up positive momentum from Kramer’s Zero, and we nearly have the literal bad taste of Café Kramer out of our mouths. The food is astonishingly disgraceful. I ordered the poké bowl with salmon, and my guest got a hamburger and fries. There are many ways to make poké, and I am open to creative local ideas (e.g., it was loaded up with corn: sure, whatever). But what came to the table was just rice and soybeans with strips of smelly smoked breakfast salmon (lox), not diced raw or ceviched fish, as is universal. Worse, there was an even bigger patty of some similar pink stuff which I realized after thinking it was salmon was an unholy huge slab of more pickled ginger than I have ever seen in my life and that no one could ever eat. Finally, for some sadistic reason, they also put white horse radish all over the bottom of the bowl, maybe to shove a parting middle finger at patrons. My guest’s hambuger was completely raw, and here’s where Inept rolls over to Haughty. We didn’t complain: we just asked if we could get a box to take it home. You couldn’t return it because the inattentive staff were being bombarded with other customers’ demands for their long overdue food. Since my guest now had had no dinner at all, at least we could re-cook the raw meat at our efficiency around the corner. The initial server we asked for a box dismissed us, saying, “We don’t have the takeaway culture here in Amsterdam.” Just to be sure, I asked us the next disengaged toff, who quipped, “No, we don’t have boxes or bags; that disposable stuff is not an Amsterdam thing.” OK, look, you horrid, supercilious gargoyles: it’s not about wanting to send packaging to a landfill; it’s about trying to salvage an entire meal that your incompetence has ruined. A carry-out box does far less damage to the environment than throwing out the full entrée with the accompaniments. Finally, here’s the Greedy part, and really I should have put this first to save everyone from being ripped off because no one else in Amsterdam does this. When I was finally able to get the check, the credit card reader came up with a screen of Would You Like To Add A Tip? starting at 10% and going up, up, up. Silly, silly, silly me. I had Googled ‘Amsterdam restaurant tipping,’ knowing nothing as I had just flown in, and saw “10% for good service.” These layabouts asked up front for that and more on the card reader. Here’s the takeaway message. No other place in Amsterdam – I’m talking 20+ as I write this – hits customers with a credit card reader asking for a tip. None of them. The card machine displays one numberbut before that the server says, with a pause, “XXX Euro OK?” And you’re supposed to say to someone who was good, “Oh, please just enter XXX+whatever% Euro,” because they were good kids and they did a good job. Kramer, which has no good kids that I saw, well, they just sucker guilt you. I guess because they get a lot of off the plane tourists. Just give nothing if your experience was anything like ours, but, honest, just don’t go there at all. Worst place in the...

In a city known globally for its international appeal, I find the mistreatment received here to be completely unacceptable. Having lived in Amsterdam / Utrecht for 6 months I have never been treated in such a discourteous manner, not least from the person I was told was the very owner of this bar.

As many people are aware, most Dutch people are fluent in English and are more than willing to do so. Especially in Amsterdam. Most Dutch people will switch to English automatically if faced with broken Dutch, making it difficult to acquire Dutch through emersion.

As a paying customer in this bar I would have expected a basic level of courtesy, especially from the owner. This was not what I received. As I attempted to enjoy my drink, I was asked by the owner and his friend about my ability to speak Dutch. I admitted that my Dutch was lacking and they went on to share their opinion that English people as a whole are lazy and ignorant when it comes to integrating in the Netherlands.

I tried to make light of the conversation by saying that my German was better than my Dutch and that I found that easier to speak, but they seemed even more put off by that.

Ultimately I laughed it off but I wouldn't expect this level of treatment from a stranger on the street, let alone a person who was directly benefitting from my custom.

So here is a big fat negative review, especially written for you in English in an attempt to deter some international business because it's clear that it's not welcome in this place. Thank you for...

I went there the last time I was in Amsterdam and couldn’t stop fantasizing about the amazing food and friendly staff. This is why I am headed there today for lunch on this day after Christmas 2019–however, when I arrived and considered the menu and the fact that it still had its name implying that they served Peking fare and even mentioned to the owner how much I loved the Chinese food here, he did not inform me that although it was still named Cafe Peking, they served dishes that were unrelated to the original meal I had there years before. Why someone would choose to keep the original name which featured the greatest Peking dishes and serve instead a kind of melange of styles that defied definition will always mystify me. The best moment while I was there was my question as to where the cat had run off to, to which the waiter responded: “Why sir, he is seated on the cushion just beside you.” I looked to my right and there he was as if I had been chosen due to my affinity for one of my favorite animals. I was utterly pleased. The cat is truly one of the most beautiful and charismatic creatures I had ever encountered. You can find a photograph of this cat at the bottom of this page. Simply an angel. The only reason I would ever go there is to experience...