ASSAGGINI - Edinburgh — Restaurant in City of Edinburgh

Oh Assaggini, you meant so well, but you failed so badly. Italian pastas and pizzas doesn't really scream tapas, but executed correctly it could be something very special. It's a moderately high hurdle, but Assaggini managed to trip backwards into it.

The context: Saturday night in August. Fringe crowds bustling about and rugby fans adding to the mass of people about the city. My family and I had a booking, so no worries to be had about getting seated. And upon arrival we got shown to our table quickly, and soon enough had drinks in hand. Not a terribly exciting or large drinks menu for an Italian restaurant; perhaps too many cocktails than necessary, but that seems intentional, catering to large groups on the town.

Drinks in hand, menu perused, we awaited the waiter to come take out order. Some thirty minutes passed and no one had come to take out food order. The restaurant was as busy as you would expect for a Saturday night, but there seemed to be only one waiter taking food orders - a waiter who suddenly appeared and started wandering around the tables shouting "TWENTY MINUTES, WE TAKE YOUR ORDER." We were looking at an hour before we could even order anything to eat. It felt like it would have been quicker migrating to Italy, learning to become fluent in the language, educating myself at cookery school, becoming an artisanal pasta maker, setting up a small diner in the Italian Riviera, and retiring at the age of 65 than waiting for food to arrive here.

And I wish I did, because when the food did arrive (after asking three separate waiters if we could finally order food after the 20 minute embargo), it was so lacklustre, flavourless, and disappointing it made me cry a tear for Italy. The Garganelli salmone had but a few flakes of fish in the distinctly beige-coloured and beige-tasting sauce; the gnocci salsiccia e gamberi but two prawns and no sausage; and a lasagna bolognese that was cold inside and tasted like a poorly thawed frozen lasagne from Lidl slathered in Campbell's tomato soup.

Indeed a lot of the food was tepid to cold, but it's hard to decide if that's because it was microwaved at too low a setting or because it spent ten minutes sitting idle, waiting to be served by the missing waiting staff. The best compliments I can pay the dished we ordered was a carbonara that was simply fine at best and the arancino that was satisfactory (but this might be to do with it being the warmest thing served to us).

And that description doesn't take into account the two dishes my parents ordered that were missing and had to be reordered (after convincing the waiter we DID in fact originally order them, as per the receipt he printed out to try and catch us out). Apparently they eventually appeared but I was actually gone by then as I had a show to get too; two hours I'd been in Assaggini at this point and I would have expected them to turn over the table swiftly and have us out the door with full bellies, not to be still waiting to serve a dish order that was ordered what seemed like seven light years ago.

Look, I get it. A newish restaurant and a busy Saturday night in August where you are fully booked: that's a stressful time for anyone involved. But that stress shouldn't be on - or even apparent to - the diners. A city centre restaurant like this should be prepared to be fully booked - and fully staffed - at the weekend.

The waiting staff serving drinks (and not taking food orders) were pleasant and patient, but why there was such a huge gap in people able to take food orders is a little mind boggling. I can forgive slow service at peak times (i've worked in the service industry for too long not to be able to able to) but not if the food is woefully bad. It's like being a child at Christmas, waiting the whole month of December to open their present under the tree only to find that the long-awaited present is a dead rabbit; not worth the wait and failing to grasp the most basic principles of what a present for a child should be - much like what Assaggini does for Italian food and dining...

I would not recommend this place at all. Although the food was good overall, the service is absolutely appalling. We visited on a Saturday evening and there clearly was not enough staff in to provide a service to keep up with the demand. One front of house (we'll get to him later), one ordering waitress, one bartender and one server (who worked his socks off all night trying to keep up, little success). Front of house showed us to our seats, but was clearly disappointed that we had never been before and so he had to explain the ordering and serving system to us. He gave us our menus and left. 15minutes later the waitress eventually arrives to take our drinks order, another 10minutes and comes back for our food order, without drinks. Placed our order and eventually our drinks arrived, including two jugs of water which we requested. Upon going to pour the water, we discovered it had 10 or more fruit flies floating on the top (attached photo). We tried for a few minutes to get someone's attention but in the end one of our party had to return it to the bar ourselves. The front of house person was there, to which he turned his head towards our person, said a gruff "sorry" and quickly went off to greet another table. This water never got replaced throughout the rest of our stay. To be honest, I wanted to leave there and then, pay for our drinks and go. However, as a group we decided to stay, mainly because we would struggle to get in anywhere else at that time (around 6.30pm on a Saturday evening), giving them the benefit of the doubt knowing that the food was coming from a different area than the drinks did. Our food started to arrive, tapas style so it comes as and when it is ready. Several times we were offered plates of food that we did not order, belonging to other tables, twice even having it forcibly put down in front of us and told it was ours. Which it wasn't at all so we said to take it away. Most of the food we did order was nice, if a little cold. However, two people in our party were still waiting for some plates they had ordered some 20 or more minutes later, the last arriving when everyone else had finished eating and we were asking for the bill. We had tried to chase up these dishes several times and were told it was coming, 2 minutes, etc but never once was there an apology for the delay. Or for the poor service. In the hospitality industry, a genuine and sincere apology goes a long way, but nobody we dealt with at this place seemed to care. Noone came to check if our food was okay, did we need anything, would we like any more drinks? We never got our jug of fly water replaced or even an acceptable acknowledgement of their mistake(s). It is the first time in my life that, upon leaving, I wanted to tell those others waiting at the door for a table to turn away and find somewhere else. The front of house person is exceptionally arrogant, uncaring and not somebody who I would want to be representing my business. The lone waitress and server clearly had far too many tables to look after singlehandedly and other than clearing one table, I did not see him helping them out at all. Needless to say, when it came to paying, we asked for the bill to arrive with the "optional" service charge removed (bill arrives with 10% added on automatically).

Also, just to add, we were seated next to a table that had a dog with them. I would expect a dog at a pub, but not at a restaurant. They are then usually on the floor but this one was sat at the table with a bowl it was using on the table too. It also yapped/barked a few times too which was rather offputting - especially for my friend who was sat inches...

The food was okay but there were 2 people to service, seat customers, make drinks and clear tables and the restaurant was busy there was no time for them to talk to you about the menu and this menu needs a lot of work it doesn't give you much detail. For example 1 of the dishes says pasta with lamb and a spicy sauce - so you may think that you're getting slices of lamb in a spicy sauce I could not find the lamb even if it was mince it was so fine that it was invisible. Then we come to one of the Pizza's and as I said before description is needed and lacking on the menu as you have no staff to help. Tuna sauce what is that well I can tell you what this restaurant calls Tuna sauce - it's like overcooked fish with the bones ground down into a watery paste and then poured all over pizza - it looks similar to cat diarrhoea. There's been more flavour in fish paste than this tuna sauce and before anyone says well you could ask the waiting staff - how they were so rushed off their feet they didn't have time to take you to your seat let alone talk you through the menu.

Management unless you were there at the time you can't comment I could see with my own 2 eyes also it wasn't during the day it was in the evening at 7pm to be exact. Also if you want to tell me how I experienced the food at the restaurant why even have customers, just sit and eat the food yourself and review. Also I only review what I see and experience and in general, I don't review harshly. I left 1 star because that was my experience that evening maybe you should start looking at how to resolve the issues rather than finding excuses and trying to blame your customers. Also, you do realise that potential customers will also look at these reviews and then decide to go elsewhere, especially when they see the response...