Hellys Bistro — Restaurant in England

My husband and I are simple people. We like simple things—Ploughman’s platters; onions without human hair on them; restaurant tables free of large bobblehead owls.

Unfortunately, we did not experience any of these things at Helly’s Deli.

The lunch I ordered was a Ploughman’s in name only. It contained an array of ingredients that should not be in a Ploughman’s—or on the same plate in any other context, for that matter. Combining tortilla chips, tabbouleh, caramelised onions, and mayo-based coleslaw was a bold choice. It did not pay off.

The good news is that the chef compensated with a shedload of bland, sweating cheddar cheese. There must have been half a kilo of it. The plate also contained an onion topped with a large hair.

My husband got the Cajun chicken ciabatta. Unfortunately, the chef who portioned the Ploughman’s cheddar cheese did not portion my husband’s sandwich. It contained next to no chicken and a modest quantity of unmelted cheese, although it did come with the same tortilla chips and coleslaw, as well as a horrifying bought-in salsa. Again, an odd combination of flavours.

We expected to dine alone. Instead, we were joined by a third guest—an enormous, bobbing-headed plastic owl that took up a meaningful portion of our table. Why was it there, you ask? We don’t know, but we found its presence unsettling.

We were asked to pay for our food before receiving it. It’s now clear why. Both dishes were confused and poorly executed, bordering on inedible. We got out as quickly as we could—which would have been faster, were it not for the club-style pink velvet rope that prevents customers from entering and leaving the establishment. No accompanying bouncer; you have to unhook and fumble through it yourself. Yet another strange decision by management.

If you love obtrusive table decor and food that will upset you both physically and emotionally, Helly’s Deli is the place for you. The rest of us should stay well on the street side of the pink...

We visited here twice whilst on a few days break. The first visit was pleasant but only had coffee. Service was attentive and great. The owner is pleasant and happy to recommend other eateries in Penzance. We tried the recommendations but was sadly very disappointed in all of them. We visited Hellys again for breakfast as the food looked very good on our first visit. Our breakfast was just ok quality but a little basic and frankly overpriced for the service and quality of food that we recieved. The owner was not in house. One waiter was on duty who clearly worked at one pace - slow. It was only a little busy but the service was very poor and not attentive at all. I witnessed what I can only assume we're regular clients being given priority over other waiting customers. There were two elderly ladies who arrived at the same time as us and only had their order taken as we left and after we had ordered, eaten and paid our bill. That is pretty poor to me and I felt so sorry for them. I asked the waiter 3 times for my bill. It didn't arrive. The 4th time I had to demand he get our bill which he did. I know there only human, but it was clear to see this waiter clearly preferred dealing with regular clients. I would like to say I will go back but sadly I don't think it is an option we will...

A #vegan oasis. There are 5 in my family group. 3 are vegan 1 meat eater and 1 that will eat whatever I fancy at the time. We had been to 3 Pasty shops in the High Street (starting at the very top) all of which do vegan pasties. The meat eater and myself immediately no problem getting something. The remaining 3 vegans were told nothing available with 1 giving the option for us to wait for more to be cooked. Hellys Deli was the last chance before we gave up and went back to the car, and we struck gold.

I had a sweet potato sausage roll, others had a Cauliflower and Tumeric Pastie with sweet potatoe fries, and the last one a Hummus and Red Pepper Sandwich.

The food was fantastic, the waitress was attentive and made a real effort to make sure we got the best options available, and the Covid safety precautions were properly followed and not just a token gesture.

We were really pleased to have found it and have added it to other specialist vegan...