Muffins Coffeehouse — Restaurant in England

I appreciate this won “best cafe in Dorset” in 2023 so it’s been a couple of years but either it’s fallen off dramatically in the last 2 years or the the judge of said awards is on the payroll because this place feels like I’ve taken a step back in time.

To not offer iced coffee in 2025 in a micro climate seaside town is ridiculous, it’s easier and quicker to construct than offering a hot coffee, to then add to this to not having even a basic of syrups in vanilla or caramel again I was a gasp!

However I stayed strong bit my millennial tongue and continued with my order; a flat white and latte, I also ordered a bacon bap (on menu) and a bacon and egg bap (not on the menu) despite them offering both a bacon bap and an egg bap this had to be checked to see if it could be achieved, thankfully the cafe gods were looking down on me that day and the Michelin star chef found it within him to be able to place both an egg and a singular (we’ll get to that) piece of bacon into the breaded floured mound of bread.

Upon receiving the coffees, I say coffees they were more like hot milkshakes.

On came the food, we asked for tomato sauce that turned up in a thin ball to be applied to the bap manually, my egg and bacon consisted of a singular egg which I can accept but what laid beneath I was a taken back…one singular piece of dried bacon that resembled the shape of Italy on micro scale, when I went in to question this travesty I was met with a blank stare as if I’d asked for a sieve to decant the flour off of the bap.

Safe to say I won’t be returning and I can only assume their winner of best cafe 2023 is down to running at a profit given their minimal portion...

A very nice cafe with friendly staff and the food was of a good quality but I was taken aback by the quantity. I’ve had many an English breakfast and I’m sorry but this didn’t justify the price by any means. To make a comparison I’ll show a breakfast from one of my local cafe’s.

My local - Full English (they do a larger one and two smaller ones) - 2 Bacon, 2 Sausage, 2 Eggs, Beans, Tomatoes, Hash Brown, Black Pudding, Burger, Mushrooms, 2 Toast or Bread and Butter, Tea or Coffee - price £6.95.

Muffins - Full Breakfast (as opposed to the smaller ‘standard breakfast) - 1 Rasher of Bacon, 1 Sausage, Hash Brown, Mushrooms, Beans, 2 Eggs, Black Pudding, Grilled Tomato, 1 Fried Bread, 1 Toast - £9.50.

I can’t recall the price of a coffee but that would have taken it to £12+, maybe £13. Ive never before seen a full breakfast with just one sausage and one rasher of bacon.

Food quality 5 - Food quantity 3 -...

If you happen to find yourself awake and wandering weymouth before 9am, you will notice the disheartening lack of cafes that have opened for the day. There were more fish and chip shops open...

I found Muffins down a side street, an authorized Cafe Rico dealer it seems. Sat outside in the calm sea breeze with a cappuccino and watched the bunting flap. Handsome beefy painter next door redoing the trim on a pub didn't hurt either.

Did not have a muffin. Not my vibe. But they...