Flat Iron Borough — Restaurant in London

22nd August 2025 Cost: £100 for two, inc wine

A CIMA (Chartered Institute of Management Accountants) qualification is made up of three main levels, each consisting of three ‘pillars’ of technical assessment and then a case study exam, during which you demonstrate real-world application of things like business strategy and performance management in the context of a fictitious organisation, the history, model, financials etc of which you familiarise yourself with through pre-seen material and study ahead of the exam itself.

In some ways passing the exams has been the making of me. After all, it’s how I manage to afford going for all these meals out all the time - along with getting my wife to cut my hair and still wearing t-shirts, yellowed at the armpit, my Mum bought me when I was still in my teens. But it’s also left me with an ingrained, mechanical tendency to appraise the commercial viability and thought processes of a business when I’m first exposed to it. I mostly do this in my head - it’s not the kind of conversation most people find interesting - so Frank, if you’re reading this and thought I was paying attention to your monologue about the difficulties of modern-day dating… sorry. I was mentally translating the real world of our surroundings into the intangible universe of Flat Iron’s financial accounts.

Because Flat Iron is a CIMA case study come to life. It’s a business, not a restaurant - it’s Nandos for steak. It feels - or felt to me, anyway - that every decision made in relation to the running of the place was done with profit in mind. They don’t do coffee, for example, or proper pudding. My take on that is that someone like me has run the numbers and worked out that the revenue per table-minute drops off a cliff after the mains are cleared away, when people linger, full and unspending.

That’s not to say that the food wasn’t great. Sometimes the best way to ensure your most important KPIs, like customer sentiment, trend in the right direction is by having a really good product. The only main options were the “Flat Iron Steak” (£15) or a Wagyu equivalent (£23), and I was minded to go for the latter because, if you assume a similar margin on the unit economics, higher prices either mean better or more, right? And also the eponymous option upon enquiry was a skirt, which is more beef than steak - good for fajitas and sandwiches but less able to stand alone without sauces but just a sprinkling of sea salt. But there were a few more cuts to choose from on a secret menu, so we both went for a ribeye (£22).

It came out incredibly quickly - not helping to dispel my theory - and thinner than most ribeyes I’ve seen, but perfectly cooked and nicely presented alongside the mini machete of Flat Iron’s logo, which added a fun novelty touch. With it came macaroni cheese, creamed spinach (the only green veg available) and a portion of their mash, which Frank had been banging on about since about three hours before we actually decided to eat there. It was super-smooth, like the sort of mash AI would make if it could, and topped with little crispy garlic bits. Delicious, but nothing like the best homemade.

I imagined wait staff being encouraged to clear the customers quickly and efficiently away too, in order to get the next couple at the front of the queue in and sat down, but this was no reflection on ours, who was lovely. We were allowed to take our time, which was lucky, because the food was good enough to be savoured, but we were dining late and after the queue had evaporated, and because we had an entire bottle of the “Smooth Flat Iron Malbec” (£31) to finish. Once we had, there was time for the complimentary in-house brown butter vanilla ice-cream - possibly the best thing I ate - but only to go in a cup or cone, strolling along the Southbank. Better, if anything. It’s almost like Flat Iron know what...

I love steaks, I've eaten some great steaks, so I was excited about Flatiron. But it turned out that the best part about going was the leaving.

My first mistake was to thing I could get a decent beer with my steak. This would have been the case, had I liked trendy pale-ales or lagers. The beers were over-priced and just bad. My second mistake was ordering the burger. Why? Because I didn't like the cut of steak they offered (you don't get a choice). I should have done my research, flatiron was just the name it as all they sold. The burger arrived, wrapped in a greasy paper and on a chopping board. I had to unwrap it myself, ensuring I didn't let any grease run on to me. What was inside looked squished an it was barely warm. Chilli? Well perhaps a bit.

Then the chips. Cold, anaemic, flavourless. Thank goodness there was salt on the table. The spinach was OK.

I hope my wife had a good meal. I couldn't tell as I couldn't hear her. Even if I leant forward, from the tiny backless stall I was sat on. She was handily propped forward by our coats. You'll need to stuff these behind whoever sits on the bench-seat, as there is no-where to put your bag and coat. Unless the floor is appealing.

So the leaving. Why was that so good? Well they hand you a tiny plastic cleaver, based on the one you get given to eat your meal with. Imagine if a pound shop made Pandora charms for butchers. You then hand this to someone else who gives you a chocolate Mr Whippy, which isn't too bad.

Should you go for the steaks? If you've got low standards and price is all you're worried by then sure. Should you go there for a sociable evening? If you don't mind the 45 minute wait and don't want to talk to each other then sure.

But realistically, you'll have a much nicer steak for similar money elsewhere.

Flatiron markets itself a steak purists. One cut, simple menu. Prices low. The reality is that rather than being purists, they're simply stacking high and...

I really didn't enjoy my experience at Flat Iron, I visited on my birthday and it was very disappointing. First of all the waiting staff were very pushy and annoying and wouldn't get the hint to give me a bit of time before I was ready to order, bearing in mind the restaurant wasn't busy in the slightest. One of the waiters even had a weird habit of dragging a chair or sitting amongst a group of people when taking their orders which I found really strange.

I went for their £14 steak, bone marrow mash and creamed spinach, as well as their rose lemonade as a drink. The portion size of the steak and sides are extremely tiny and not very filling, the nicest was the creamed spinach but the mash and steak were average. The rose lemonade was filled with mostly ice and very little drink, I fished all the ice cubes out and they filled it to half and the rest was all ice cubes.

Finally they plonked an upside down ice cream cone in a cocktail glass with a candle. It looked so sloppy and ugly there were better ways they could have shown celebration. I was really disappointed as I didn't fancy anything sweet after eating and would have preferred to have been given the ice cream token like everyone else so I could use it at a future date instead. The best part was leaving, and im extremely disappointed in paying the service charge when I had a bad experience. I can't believe people actually rant and rave about this place it is massively overrated for...