Dragon River — Restaurant in Bellingham

I am now wholly convinced that there is something fundamentally wrong with the people of Bellingham.

I don't know if the insular culture just doesn't expose them to very much outside their bubbles, or if everyone's taste buds are permanently burned out from all the booze and reefer. I do know that I am not taking recommendations from the locals seriously again.

I had gotten tired of our go-to Chinese place and wanted to find something a little better. A thread came up on the local reddit where everyone wholeheartedly agreed that Dragon River was the place to go for Chinese takeout. Review on Google Maps bore that out; the restaurant had a 4.2 rating, and the negative reviews were just the usual Karen complaints about service and accusations of racism - pretty standard for Bellingham. My intuition told me to just ignore it, but I decided to go ahead and give it a try.

If you've been poor for any significant part of your life, you know how hard it is to waste food, and you will fully understand my meaning when I say that five minutes into the meal, the whole lot of it went into the garbage. I now understand why Dragon River stopped doing dine-in. If my family and I had been sat inside I would have sent the food back, something I have only ever done once in forty years.

For my meal, I ordered the Sweet and Sour Pork, General Tso's Chicken, Crab Cheese Wontons, and Hot and Sour Soup. First impressions of the meal were 1) that was more food than I was expecting and 2) those colors did not come from anything meant to be eaten. Either they were deep into the kind of food additives that are illegal in more civilized countries, or they pulled their sauces off the backs of poison dart frogs.

The Hot and Sour Soup was the best of the lot, in that it was merely bland. Usually you expect some black vinegar and mushrooms with a bit of pork or tofu, but this was clear broth with cabbage that I initially mistook for a wrong order of egg drop.

The Sweet and Sour Pork and General Tso's Chicken were colored Red Dye 40 and Cola Syrup Brown respectively and were made with the lowest quality of meat imaginable. I could not have told you which part of the animal, or even what animal, the meat came from. It was somehow both gamy and slimy at the same time. The sauces tasted plastic and completely artificial, like something cooked up in a lab attached to a petroleum plant. The Wontons were similarly plastic-tasting and greasy, while somehow managing to be too crispy to be food.

But perhaps the fault is on my end. Perhaps when a restaurant in Bellingham advertises Chinese food for sale, they don't mean ethnic food in the style of the Orient, they mean it in the sense that it is a knockoff product meant to resemble food, like a Chinese handbag or...

My family has eaten here many times over the years. We know going into this dining experience that the server isn’t the most welcoming or warm person, but the food is usually good and quick. However, last night was exceptionally horrible. When we walked in there were two other tables; one of about five people and the other was two people. My son had to use the restroom so my husband and he headed back there. The waitress told me where sit and didn’t seem impressed that we were there. She brought the hot tea out before water which is fine but our son likes to have some tea and we usually water it down a lot so he can be a part of. While dropping off the tea I had asked for a bowl of soup for us to share and she snapped at me that she had to take the larger tables order first. I get it; I was in the restaurant business for years, but no need to have such a terrible attitude… I felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode. She came to take our order with the same short rude attitude. When she finally brought our water out she put my son’s water down on a fork and it spilled everywhere. I went to get more napkins to clean up her mess, I found her and she looked at me like I was such an inconvenience, got on the phone and walked away… are you kidding me? So I found a rag, cleaned up the water and when I took it back I explained to her how she was the one that spilled the water not us. At this point in our experience we were ready to leave but we had a short time to eat before we have a commitment to get to so we decided to stay. Our food came out and from first inspection I noticed there was what looked like a piece of thyme in the mandarin chicken that I was sharing with my son. IT WAS A PIECE OF METAL WIRE. I cannot explain in words how livid I was in that moment. What if my son would have gotten that? He is four he would have eaten it. What are you using to cook with that has wire in/on it?? How does this happen? I took the wire up to our waitress and snatched it out of my hand and asked if I wanted to cancel the food or have it remade… I said “cancel it?” I found that odd since the food was already on our table? She took the food away from us, no apology, no explanation. We didn’t tip because she didn’t take any actions to deserve one. To add insult to injury my husband and I both have food poisoning. We will never come back and I will continue to tell everyone about...

Dragon River is great. I really appreciate the owner’s no-nonsense manner. I think all the people that gave bad reviews due to her attitude are likely entitled and really want to be catered to. Just because someone owns a restaurant doesn’t mean they need to hold your hand and ensure your every happiness is met. Also, the owner is not from the US where this type of customer service attitude is forced on low-wage workers. Perhaps where she was raised, it was the norm to go to work, do a good job, without having to smile every second and be bubbly and happy to each customer. Maybe stop looking at this Chinese-owned restaurant through your whiny Western lens. I personally feel bad for how smiley and sweet all service workers are forced to behave at the threat of a bad tip or review. The owner is polite and kind, and serves really great food (personal faves are the Mongolian beef and egg drop soup.) I guess if you’re the type of person that feels like you want low-wage service workers to cater to your feelings and treat you like a princess maybe try...