Survey Cafe — Restaurant in Bonita Springs

I was absolutely thrilled when I saw the adorable patio pictures of Survey Café. It looked like a dreamy, romantic setting where you could sip coffee amongst lush greenery at comfortably spaced tables. But no. In reality, the tables are shoved together so tightly that you're practically holding hands with the couple next to you. Forget intimacy with your date—you're now forcefully invested in a "manage a trois" by default.

And then there's the "service." Or rather, the complete lack of it. It’s a counter-order setup, meaning the only time staff graces your table is when they burst into the room in a frantic, self-imposed crisis to fling cold, subpar food at you before vanishing without making eye contact.

Since we were basically playing footsie with the folks at the next table, we collectively started a game: guessing how many customers would have to march back up to the counter to correct their order or send back something tragic. (Spoiler: I won. I noticed the quiches were rolling out with a burnt, black tops before my new tablemates did.)

As for the food—well, I got a tasty, overstuffed Reuben and a sad, lukewarm soup. My wife, however, received a Cuban sandwich so offensively under-filled that it should be classified as a hate crime. One lone, pitiful slice of lunch meat that didn’t even cover the bread. This time the strangers next to us enjoyed a hearty laugh at our expense.

Drinks? I had to fetch my own coffee, served lukewarm from a giant tank like I was on dish duty at summer camp. The wife? A "Dixie cup" of water—because hydration is apparently rationed here—which I had to refill multiple times like an unpaid intern at my own meal.

So, thank you, Survey Café, for an unforgettable dining experience where the restaurant minimizes their own effort at every single step. I’ve eaten at actual French cafés where service is impeccable, food is divine, coffee is perfection, and customer experience is not an afterthought. Survey, my friend, "you are...

This cafe I’m shocked has such high reviews. For starters it is massively overpriced while portions are incredibly small for the prices paid. The food quality in general was poor as well and everything we ordered and saw anyone else order was way overcooked nearly to a burnt/throwaway level. Our order was placed on a not too busy morning with max 4-5 orders in front of us and it took them 45 minutes to bring out our overcooked and barely edible brunch. One item had a massive hair that was partially under the quiche which would have been impossible to miss by the multiple people involved in making, prepping and delivering the item. Also, for such an expensive brunch you have to walk up and order at a counter yourself and you are not waited on at your table. My cheddar eggs barely had any cheese and I had to search for a while to even notice there was any cheese in them. They were a weird texture and partially burnt. Which is very uncommon in French cuisine which normally undercooks eggs serving them soft and sometimes runny. Also, it was extremely hot inside the restaurant (unbearable to eat inside I thought) and I saw a lot of the staff sweating in what seemed like pretty tough working conditions. Not sure if the AC broke or what was going on with that situation.

The only reason they didn’t receive a one star is because the quiche (minus the hair in it) was very tasty and one of the servers outside was very pleasant.

:Edit to sassy owner: We sent back the dish with the hair and you didn’t come out and apologize or say anything to us and multiple tables were served quiche AFTER we sent our plate back and us waiting quite a while. So why would we need a picture of something you saw and didn’t address? Check your attitude a little maybe and the pictures might make more sense than your rude response both in person and on here? Changing the original two star to a one star for the lovely energy....

This was our Valentine Day dinner. Both the food and service were just awful. My husband ordered a french beer that never came. I ordered sparkling apple cider, but was mistakenly served a glass of white wine. We wanted escargot for appetizer, but they were out of it. Owner’s mother took our order and suggested a tuna tartar, for which we said yes. However, it never arrived. We had two crepes, “Crepe of the Farm,” and “Brie Apple Walnut.” The crepes were extremely dry and tasteless. The chicken was cubed dry chunks of white meat without any seasoning or flavor. The brie was a couple slices not melted with a few slices of apples and several raw walnuts, very dry and a couple of bad bitter nuts unfortunately.. The salad had a balsamic dressing that was not very flavorful. When server, a young woman, finally came over to us, my husband asked for the check. She seemed surprised and knew my husband was disappointed having never received his beverage. Then the owner’s mother came over to ask how things were, and my husband explained the problems with orders, but we didn’t discuss our dissatisfaction with the food quality. It was so bad and we knew we were not going to return, so no point. The mom blamed the order mistakes on her son and apologized. However, it was she who put the order into a tablet device and struggled when she was taking it. We were disturbed that she would blame her son. She was very apologetic and sent us home with a chocolate dessert. I have not tried it. I’m just very disappointed that it was supposed to be a delicious romantic Valentines Day dinner and it...