Sugar Mellon Club — Restaurant in Fairborn

Sugar Melons in Fairborn is less a bar than a civic experiment gone feral. The neon hum is constant, like the dull roar of habeas corpus denied at midnight. A man could lose his paycheck, his sense of due process, and half his teeth before last call, and still somehow emerge with a fresh domestic beer and a firm belief in the Supremacy Clause.

The décor resembles a municipal annex that lost a zoning dispute with Mardi Gras. Ceiling fans struggle against the dense fog of Marlboros and regret. The jukebox is a schizophrenic committee—George Jones next to Slayer, a constitutional balancing act of the First Amendment expressed in quarter slots.

Patrons assemble like a rogue’s gallery of unrecorded depositions: bikers, rail yard men, a few off-duty cops pretending not to notice each other, and the occasional law clerk grading briefs under the dim light of a Miller Lite sign. Every conversation is simultaneously a confession, an objection, and a closing argument.

In strict Rehnquist fashion, order prevails just enough to keep the chairs upright. But in Thompson’s America, the whiskey flows like habeas relief—seldom granted, but when it hits, it’s unforgettable.

Verdict: Sugar Melons isn’t a bar, it’s precedent—binding in spirit,...

I had the pleasure of visiting my first time this past Saturday. I originally went to see the band "Joy Ride", but was immediately struck by how comfortable and welcomed I felt. From the owner surprisingly her bartender with a bouquet of flowers, to mingling with the crowd to ensure that everyone was having a great time, and had what they needed, I was hooked. The bartenders and barback were adorable, and were quick to respond to their customers, with a smile, and great bartending skills. I had several "Pineapple Upside Down Cake" drinks, and they were delicious. The bar is easily accessible from any direction of travel, and off street, safe parking is abundant. A very diverse crowd, and a great time was had by all. Their sound and lighting system was exceptional, and showcased "Joy Ride's" amazing sound as if you were in a much larger venue. It's definitely my new favorite nightclub. Close to WPAFB, and would be a great place for a little R&R. I would highly recommend stopping by and giving it a try. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the warm reception that...

Came in for a drink for the first time after hearing about the place from regulars at a local pub. Bought a single drink and was told I was "too drunk." Tabbed out and had another party's drink on my tab. Do not know if Christine "who I later learned might have been the name" thought I was underage," but I cannot fathom being more insulted in my life. Will NEVER go back in my lifetime. Would...