La Bohème Restaurant — Restaurant in Hoboken

All these high marks, I don't know what restaurant everyone else went to. I wish I had been to the same place.

I'd like to start by saying that we wanted to love La Bohéme. We don't get a lot of new restaurants in this part of town, so Patrice and I were eagerly awaiting their opening. We love the Côte d'Azur and provencale cuisine. I'd also like to say that I've never left a one star review. I don't often regret a meal, but this is one of the worst meals I can remember having in quite some time.

We started with cocktails and a bottle of Saint Emillion which we had them open to breathe. The drinks menu does not list any of the wine producers and the sever didn't know anything about what they carried. That said I was pleasantly surprised when they brought out a bottle of Chateau Yon. Also, the bartender wasn't clear on how I wanted my martini and took time out to ask which I appreciated. That's where the good ends. The rest of our meal was an unmitigated disaster (although none of it was the server's fault).

We ordered steak tartare and the garden salad which were insipid at best. The tartare relied far too much on whatever mustard they used, most likely to cover the inferior cut of beef used to make it. It was accompanied by limp, tasteless bread (a true accomplishment in a town full of bakeries) and a salad garnish that seemed to be an afterthought. The garden salad looked like it was out of a bag. The tomatoes were grainy and tasteless.

At this point, I should mention the thundering music playing in the background, which the owner kept drunkly shuffling through did little to improve the ambiance.

We ordered the bouillabaisse (a classic seafood stew) and a margherita pizza for our entrees. My stew arrived well before my fiancee's pizza had even been made. The cook working the pizza station seemed more interested in dancing and chatting than watching the tickets come in. Our server had to cover for him and came up with an excuse for the mistake.

I wish she had come up for an excuse for my fish, which was easily the worst version of a bouillabaisse I've ever had. It was as if the cook had only heard the dish described, but had never tasted or seen it made before. The fish was overcooked, they ruined the lobster, and the squid was as tasteless as the "saffron broth" it came in. Also, the stew should have come with a side dish for the empty shells (pro tip for the staff moving forward). The bread and the mystery spread that accompanied the dish were equally tasteless as well.

By the time Patrice's pizza arrived, my entree was an nothing but an unpleasant memory. The pizza was a little bland but otherwise fine. It's made roman style and the crust was nice. It could have used some finishing salt or a dusting of percorino. Easily the least offensive part of dinner.

The most offensive part was Patrice having to see the owners testicles flop out of his ripped jeans as he shoveled pizza into his face at the bar. I wish I was making this up. For the $248.00 we spent on dinner, I hope he could afford unripped jeans or at least underwear. I mean seriously, what the #$&@?! Unacceptable.

Dessert was fine. A dry version of NoLa's famous King Cake (out of season I might add) and a passable chocolate mousse. Miraculously, the ticket machine in the kitchen also "had a problem" which resulted in a half hour wait for our last course. Our server made yet another excuse for the staff once she realized how tardy the course was.

All of this feedback we gave directly to the manager, so none of this should be a surprise to the owners. Having worked in restaurants, we feel you have to let the management know when you have a meal this bad.

I can't underscore what a disappointment this meal was. I wish I had something nice to say, I really do. That said, if you're looking for a good meal in town, go elsewhere... We'd recommend Olivia's if you're looking for a similar aesthetic with better...

La Boheme is a charming and intimate French-inspired spot, perfect for a romantic night or a casual double date like ours on a Saturday night. The ambiance is cozy without feeling crowded, with a French chic decor and noir Hollywood pictures and artwork adorning the walls. It set the perfect mood for the evening.

We started off with drinks, and though we tried a lot of them, all of them were solid choices. To avoid going into too much detail, I’ll say they were all enjoyable, but my personal favorites were the Club 223 and Volare, both of which were fantastic.

Moving on to appetizers, we began with the Steak Tartare, which came with capers, cornichons, shallots, parsley, and a quail egg. The presentation was impressive, and the texture and flavors were a hit with everyone at the table. This was by far one of the standout dishes of the night. Next, we had the Confit de Canard, a duck dish served with Arcadian greens, figs, walnuts, cherry tomatoes, and fingerling potatoes. While my friend who ordered it loved it, I wasn’t a fan, duck just doesn’t suit my palate. Finally, the Beignets de Crabe (pan-seared crab cakes) with chipotle mayo, they were meaty and flavorful, with chunks of crab that paired well with the spicy mayo.

For entrees, I ordered the Bavette à L'échalote (a grilled skirt steak) with shallot sauce, mixed greens, and fries. The steak was cooked perfectly to medium, and the sauce complemented it beautifully. The fries were incredible, with a taste strikingly similar to McDonald's fries, which added a nostalgic touch. Another standout dish was the Paella aux Fruits de Mer, loaded with seafood like calamari, shrimp, clams, mussels, and the fish of the day. It was rich, buttery, and flavorful, showcasing the seafood beautifully. My friend ordered the Côtelettes d'agneau (herbed lamb chops) with Provençale veggies and fingerling potatoes, which they rated an 8/10. It wasn’t something I personally tried much of, but my friend seemed to enjoy it.

As the night went on and the lights dimmed, the restaurant’s ambiance shifted into a more intimate and cozy vibe, which I think adds to its appeal for a date night.

For dessert, we tried a few dishes. The Creme Brulee was fantastic, beautifully presented with powdered sugar, strawberries, and mint for decoration. The Chocolate Lava Cake, however, was just okay, lacking the rich flavor I’ve experienced with Trader Joe's frozen version, though the accompanying ice cream was decent. Lastly, the Tarte Tatin A’La Mode (an upside-down caramelized apple tart) was not to my liking, but that’s likely because I’ve never enjoyed apple-based desserts. My friend found it alright but not particularly memorable.

Service throughout the night was generally attentive and friendly, but we did run into some difficulty communicating with our original waiter, who didn’t speak much English. Fortunately, the manager stepped in to assist, and from then on, everything went smoothly.

Overall, La Boheme is a lovely spot with great drinks, good food, and a charming atmosphere, especially at night when the lights dim and the restaurant transforms into a more intimate setting. It’s definitely a place I’d recommend for a night out or a romantic...

I want to love this place, but I simply don’t.

First off, this restaurant is dirty. I live nearby and it’s always an absolute mess. The garbage area is always overflowing with filth and shells from mussels are all over the street. I’ve dined inside twice and both times couldn’t help but notice that there were multiple big fruit flies all over. The second time I went, I also saw water flies in the bathroom (I managed to kill two of them - you’re welcome).

The other issue with this place is that it’s so loud. I do not recommend dining indoors on a date or with your parents - you’ll either be entirely silent or shouting across the table. The music is loud and there is nothing to absorb any sound, so everyone’s conversations are competing with each other.

The last time I went and dined inside, the tables were also so close together that nobody could get into their seats without both tables around moving to the side. I was eating with my dad, but we felt like we were basically sitting with the group next to us.

As for outdoor dining, there are a lot of tables that seem to have more space, but then again… you’re next to their overflowing trash and stagnant puddles full of black water (I live nearby and these puddles are there every single day - I don’t understand). As a local resident, I’ve also noticed that some nights they push out their planters to take up more of the sidewalk, nearly to a point where you can’t walk on the sidewalk safely. I’m not a fan of restaurants who are bad neighbors.

As for the wait staff, most of them seem inexperienced. I’ve been there three times total and every single time something was brought out at the wrong time or forgotten about altogether. For example, a pizza was brought out before the appetizer. Another time an appetizer wasn’t brought out at all and still in the bill.

When it comes to the food, it’s also just okay. The menu looks great, but the execution doesn’t meet the expectation. If I was reviewing just on food, it would be 3 stars.

It’s such a shame because I loved their restaurant uptown and was excited for the months leading up to this opening to have something closer to home, but this...