Pinchers — Restaurant in Marco Island

🌴 Pinchers – The Seafood Safari You Didn’t Ask For (⭐1 star) "Come for the crab, stay for the chaos. And confusion. And regret." 🦀💔🍤

So I went to Pinchers on Marco Island, because nothing says “vacation vibes” like fresh seafood and the faint smell of fryer oil in the Florida humidity. I imagined clinking glasses, buttery crab legs, and maybe a seagull photobomb. What I got was... something else. 😬🦐

Let’s begin this tragicomic tale.

The hostess: Looked like she had just lost a bet. No “hello,” just pointed at a table like she was selecting a sacrifice for Poseidon. 😐⚓ I followed in silence, already questioning my life choices.

The table: Sticky. I don’t mean “a little tacky.” I mean like it was trying to merge with my skin cells. I nearly had to leave behind a forearm. 🍯

The service: Somewhere between interpretive dance and a prank show. Asked the server if the crab cakes were fresh — she stared into the distance, possibly remembering a crab she once knew. 🦀🥲 Eventually said, “Uhh... yeah, probably?” So comforting!

The food: Ah yes. The main event.

The crab cakes were more cake than crab. Pretty sure I tasted breadcrumbs, Old Bay, and shattered dreams. 🍞🧂

The shrimp had the texture of retired rubber bands. 🏀

The cole slaw was so tragic I held a brief moment of silence.

Ambiance: Loud enough to make you shout your order, but not loud enough to drown out the couple next to you arguing about alimony and crab dip. 💔💬

The final bill: $78. For food that tasted like it had been emotionally deep-fried. 🔥 And they had the audacity to add "Thanks for supporting local!" on the receipt. You're welcome, I guess?

🎭 Conclusion: If you like expensive confusion, seafood with trust issues, and watching your hopes slowly boil like a crab in a pot — Pinchers is your spot.

⭐ One gloriously painful star Because the napkins were strong, and I needed them....

This is a great place for families to go after a day on the beach. Between the free meals for kids (with a $14 adult entree), and the BOGO drinks, you really get your money’s worth here! Our waitress, Cindy, was very nice. We ordered the crab cheese dip as an appetizer, 2 sangrias, and a pint of fun. The crab dip was good and enough for 3-4 people. The drinks were good and I had a nice buzz before I was done with the first one. For dinner I ordered 2 soft shell crabs ($32 with 2 sides). It was delicious, but I don’t think the crabs are worth the price. They were pretty small. But between the drinks, appetizer and the sides, it was more than enough. My sister got the shrimp tacos with a side of mashed potatoes and baked beans. The mashed potatoes were not great. It comes with 2 tacos and some mango salsa. The kitchen was pretty lazy about filling the cup of salsa. It had like 2 chunks of mango in it. It looked pretty sad. But, the tacos were a decent size and good so it was more than enough food. My brother got the bang bang shrimp with a side of fries and baked beans. It was good and he finished it all. With their meals they were able to get meals for each of their kids for free. They got the kids spaghetti and the kids popcorn shrimp. The plates were a good portion and the babies really loved them.

Despite the mango salsa cup being 3/4 empty and the fact that I wouldn’t order the soft shell crabs again, I give this place 5 stars for service, and value. I would definitely...

I was highly recommended to visit Pinchers during my stay at Marco island. As soon as we sat down we were told that we could not create a larger table by using the empty one next to us. (Family of 6 adults and 3 toddlers, Monday night) So we just tried to arrange ourselves the best as possible. After our waitress, Monica, came back and told us we had to move our umbrella stroller to the front of the restaurant when I had just placed it behind me and we were in a corner. Well we moved it. So the manager, Kevin?, came and I asked him if there was vegetables available to order and the only ones they had were green beans!!!! Also, there rice has turkey broth in it? So, my daughter and I could not eat anything from there. After, we continued to wait to order for the rest of the family as I fed my daughter some food I brought. We waited for what felt like forever over 10minutes and we just asked for the check for our drinks. The manager said he wanted to help us but at that point it was too late. Like how can you keep a family with 3 children under 2 waiting?????? So we left and happily walked over to " Stonewall" which has fast service, great variety, and. Friendly staff. Totally a waste of time. Missed the sunset on the beach with my family thanks to the staff at Pinchers. I hope that next time they will take care of their customers on a timely manner and without...