Middle Child Clubhouse — Restaurant in Philadelphia

Just to preface, the following review is for the Thousand Island Lounge ONLY. Otherwise, I love Middle Child and their food, but I felt like I needed to share the experience in the private room because it was not what I expected:

It pains me to write this because I love Middle Child, but I am extremely disappointed in this experience. Upon arrival, we were so excited for the event. Things started off very strong with the general ambiance of the room and the popcorn that tasted amazing, but things quickly went downhill. With the exception of our main server who was very nice, all staff were very standoffish/rude. Most avoided eye contact or even speaking to guests in general, which was very bizarre. E.g: When bussing the table, they would just stare at us until we handed over a plate instead of asking if we were finished or not. Some guests would make a nice comment saying that they loved the room and staff would just blatantly ignore them or say nothing. The server dropping burger toppings slammed them onto the table and looked like she could not bother being there. The list goes on and on when it comes to the weird interactions we had with the staff. Despite our main server being nice, we did not get enough attention from her when it came to ordering more drinks or even extra food. It looked like she had her own tables outside of this room, so we often went for long periods without attention. The food was coursed in a weird way, with the caesars and fries that were marketed as bottomless coming out after/concurrently with the main course. I would have expected at least the caesars to be served before the burgers. Additionally, although these were marketed as bottomless, not once were we asked if we wanted more and servers quickly snatched empty trays. It felt like they were coursed with the main meal specifically so people wouldn’t order more… The main course (cheeseburger or vegan/veg sandwich) that is part of this experience was extremely underwhelming, with most of our buns being completely overcooked/hard as rock. The burger I ate felt like I was eating a regular frozen Costco burger and was nothing special. The only toppings that were put out were pickles and onions, no tomatoes or lettuce. Most of my party woke up feeling sick the next morning… and no, we did not drink too much. When it was time to wrap up, the restaurant turned the lights on to full brightness as if we were a crowd at a club instead of coming to talk to us and nicely ask us to leave. Upon looking at the rules, I see that it says there was a strict 2 hour limit. Looking back we were about 15 minutes over, so I understand wanting us out, but it would’ve been nice to have some human decency instead of being treated that way. Upon exiting the restaurant just as the last guest exited the door, staff immediately and loudly locked the doors. We got the message loud and clear.. We spent over $1000 for a party of 11 people, with the base cost being $35 per person to participate in the experience. So we spent plenty of money there. Considering everything we got, I would never spend this much money for an experience like this again. Especially when you consider other group experiences in town like the hoagie room at Beddia or just a regular table at Laser Wolf, where you get much more bang for your buck and where the quality is not even comparable. All in all, the whole experience was very off putting. I would never recommend anyone to go here for the Thousand Island Lounge, which feels sad to say :( But I fully recommend and love Middle Child for their breakfast and...

We went to Middle Child Clubhouse for dinner after hearing about all of the hype from multiple websites and reading reviews and were unfortunately left feeling really underwhelmed by our experience. The setting and vibe were nice, and the variety of choices on the menu sounded very interesting and were priced at around the same range as other restaurants in the city/Fishtown area. We ordered a few small plates, a couple medium, and one larger one, and were really unimpressed. As a huge fan of Caesar salad, I was really excited to try it after seeing it lauded by so many people in online reviews, but was really surprised when, while it was decent, was a pretty ordinary Caesar salad, especially compared to other highly ranked restaurants who make their own Caesar salads. We also tried the octopus (also one of my favorites), and found it to be really overcooked and almost rubbery on the outside and chewy on the inside, and the bacon in the dish was aggressively salty. One other dish was the half chicken, which promised pastrami butter on it, but did not resemble a pastrami-like taste or scent at all and was strangely sweet for a savory dish. Overall, things in most of our dishes seemed pretty unbalanced. The latkes, though, we’re very yummy, and the waitstaff were all very nice! The one other thing I want to point out - and this is coming from someone who is one of the least-germaphobic people you’ll ever meet - was the amount of grime and grit in their communal sink used in the bathroom area. I noted many of the specs to be part of the sink itself at first, but then noticed it was actually extremely dirty, and wiped a paper towel on the sides of the sink out of curiosity, and it came up brown, so it doesn’t seem like this is cleaned regularly, which was pretty off putting to us. I’m not trying to be disparaging in this review, but if you’re coming here, you’re expecting to spend considerable money (like any other popular restaurant in the city), so I just want to share my experience with prospective customers. I really wanted to like this place, but mostly just left confused and...

Middle Child Clubhouse isn't just a breakfast/brunch spot; it's a time machine set to the best moments of your childhood, but with way better food. Walking in, you're greeted not just by super friendly faces but by an atmosphere that's as nostalgic as finding your old comic book collection in the attic.

Let's dive into the culinary comic strip, shall we? First up, the Pastrami, Egg, and Cheese Sandwich - it's basically the superhero of breakfast sandwiches, having been featured on Good Morning America for "Best Breakfast in America." Fluffy eggs, melty cooper sharp American cheese, and house-smoked pastrami on rye--this sandwich doesn't just walk the walk; it struts.

Next is The McCluckin' which steps up like the cool kid on the block, with a crispy chicken patty dressed in mayo, pickles, and shredded lettuce, all jazzed up with preserved lemon vin on a brioche bun that's softer than your favorite childhood pillow.

Then there's the Shopsin Club, a solid ensemble of house turkey, cranberry miso mayo, sweet pickles, and more, all nestled within a ciabatta that's sturdy enough for the job. While it didn't steal the spotlight for me this time around, it played its part with a reliable performance that deserves a nod.

As for the supporting cast strong enough to steal the show, it started with the "Latka'd" Hash Brown with Dill Cream. It's like Hanukkah morning and Saturday morning cartoons rolled into one crispy, creamy delight. We also shared "Olivia's Big Pancake". This isn't just a pancake; it's a fluffy, malted buttermilk cloud, drizzled with honey-butter and fresh citrus, making every bite a nostalgia trip to the days when breakfast was the highlight of your day.

Overall, Middle Child Clubhouse delivers a brunch experience that's as comforting as finding your old baseball mitt, but with flavors so grown-up, you'll need to check your ID. Kudos to this spot for turning the most important meal of the day into one of the most memorable where every bite is a throwback and every visit feels like...