Straight From New York Pizza (Hawthorne) — Restaurant in Portland

"The Great Pizza Migration: How NYC's Rejects Ended Up in Portland" So here's the deal with these "New York Pizza" places claiming to be "straight from New York" - spoiler alert: they're only straight from NYC if you're actually IN New York City. The rest of us got the discount version.

THE BACKSTORY: Started in 1986, this whole operation has been spreading across the country like some weird social experiment. But here's what they don't tell you - it's not New York's finest that made the journey west. It's the leftovers, the rejects, the pizza nobody in NYC actually wanted to eat.

I've actually had the REAL New York pizza mailed to me in those freezer containers (yeah, they used to ship frozen pies because nobody back home was buying them fresh), and let me tell you - it's worlds better than whatever they're serving in Portland. Night and day difference.

THE WATER THEORY: You know what makes NYC pizza actually good? That nasty, stanky, 100-year-old water sitting in ancient pipes throughout Manhattan. I'm talking water that's been marinating in century-old copper and lead pipes, getting that unique flavor profile that no other city can replicate. It's gross, but somehow it works in the dough.

PORTLAND'S VERSION: What we got here is like NYC's unwanted stepchild. The worst people New York didn't want packed up their mediocre recipes and moved west. It's literally a social experiment - "Let's see if other cities will accept what NYC rejected."

THE REALITY CHECK:

Claims to be "authentic NYC" ✗

Actually tastes like NYC pizza ✗

Uses century-old pipe water ✗

Brings NYC's finest to Portland ✗

Even remotely close to the frozen versions they mail ✗

KITCHEN CONDITIONS: Don't even get me started on what's happening back there. That weird taste you can't identify? Could be the ancient water system, could be the "we shipped our failures across the country" ingredient list.

BOTTOM LINE: If you want real New York pizza, order it direct from NYC - even frozen and shipped, it destroys what they're calling "New York style" in Portland. This location serves as proof that not everything travels well, especially when it wasn't wanted at home to begin with.

The Portland version is basically: "We couldn't make it in New York, so we'll fool people in Oregon instead."

MY ADVICE: Skip the fake NYC experience and support actual local Portland pizza joints. At least they're honest about where they're from and don't claim to have magical century-old pipe water in their dough.

Final verdict: The only thing "straight from New York" about this place is the attitude - and even that's the discount version nobody wanted.

🍕 SAVE YOUR MONEY - ORDER FROM ACTUAL NYC OR GO...

please read. my experience here was terrible. on 5/17/24, I ordered a pizza by phone and was told it would be ready in 30 minutes. my boyfriend and I ended up getting there 15 minutes early, so we decided “hey, this place looks chill. let’s go in and have a drink while we wait.”

we enter and it’s practically pitch black. whatever. the person at the front just kind of stares at us from afar with no acknowledgement. that’s fine, we’ll just get our drinks and sit over here quietly. as we are sipping our sodas, a man with long dirty blonde hair (definitely getting into food..) confronts us loudly and aggressively, accusing us of STEALING from them and NOT PAYING. when we are sitting there, silently waiting for our pizza. this man just immediately started getting mad, when we hadn’t done anything! my boyfriend politely tells him that we’re waiting for our pizza we ordered over the phone, he goes “okay, well..” and legit STOMPS OFF! I don’t care what kind of day you’re having, his demeanor was genuinely frightening. I was shocked and upset by this workers actions. this combined with the way we were not even given a simple hello when we walked up leads me to believe this was because of something more sinister. did not feel like a safe environment for me or my boyfriend anymore. we were yelled at for nothing, and given no apology. only a glare by the person at the cash register. i was very excited to try this pizza place, but i have to say i felt singled out. what could we have even been stealing?? the sodas we were about to pay for? the person at the front wouldn’t even acknowledge us. it was an awful experience.

i immediately asked for to-go cups for both sodas, paid for those sodas, and left. i haven’t felt this disrespected in awhile. service is trash, don’t accuse your paying customers of stealing. doesn’t feel very...

It's been 18 months of pandemic time since I've gone anywhere for a slice. When I was finally feeling confident-ish enough to look for a place for a weekday lunchtime visit, the searches I did for my old standbys showed that most of them are doing whole pie take-out or delivery only, and they generally don't open until 4 PM. SFNY indicated that they were open for lunch, and serving slices. I was happy to see that all the employees were masked, and that the space for visitors was well marked for customers to keep an appropriate distance from each other. As for the pizza - it was just what I hoped for. I had a cheese slice with just the right balance between sauce and cheese, as well as a pepperoni slice that was perfectly greasy, just the way it should be. Prices were reasonable, and, though I didn't opt for the '$5 slice and a beer' special, it was great to see it available. I'm still trying to avoid indoor spaces in general, but I'm glad to see that Straight From New York is available for pizza by the slice, while keeping the experience safe for their employees and...