Patties & Pints — Restaurant in Portsmouth

I've withheld a written review until I had been to this location four times. And I can say that my experiences have varied each time I was there so for the better and some not.

My first visit was shortly after they opened, and the place was packed which is always a good sign. We were a bit confused to where we stood to be waited on (next to the delivery truck was the answer) so we ended up having a few people who came in after us seated first. The hostess took our mobile number with an iPad with messaged us when they were ready to have us seated; an excellent idea when there is a queue as it allows people to roam outside of the establishment. After about 20 minutes we were seated between two large groups at a two person table. We were constantly being jostled by servers trying to squeeze through and people getting up from their tables. Why a the floor plan was so arranged is beyond me. But the food was good and the beer a pleasant departure from typical local fair. Our largest complaint was the noise. It was actually so loud we downloaded an app to measure the noise. At times it reached 90+db for extended periods of time. Brick walls, and hardwood floors will do that, but there did seem to be a lack of noise dampeners in the ceiling and the music (not live, except for the occasional sound checks) seemed a bit overboard.

Our next two visits were rather unexceptional, but we did notice that there were fewer people, and the wait staff were more on point on seating people. The beer menu was still excellent and the food was on par as before. Without taking an exact count it appeared as though more sound dampeners had been installed.

Fourth and last visit: I have no idea what has happened. Patties & Pints was at about 3/4 capacity and there was no live music, but the music coming through the speakers was so loud that you had to lean across the table to speak. The ceiling appeared to be completely covered with dampeners so I can only surmise that the music was cranked to compensate for this. While the restaurant was at 3/4 capacity everyone was either at the bar area or on one end of the restaurant with the tables being again packed tightly together while the other portion of the restaurant was unoccupied. There appeared to be one bartender and three servers so inadequate waitstaff doesn't explain this. So to the food, and why I'm going from three stars to two stars. We ordered the same food we had the past three time, but this was a disappointed surprise. The onion rings had been cooked at a higher temperature causing them to brown but the onion to remain uncooked. Have you ever bit into a raw onion? Not pleasant. The bread for the sandwich seems to have also changed or was so dry and hard that it was not recognizable from what we had ordered before. The meat portions and olive tapenade had also been reduced. As a general rule I don't send food back, so we drank our beers and paid the check and left the food on the plate.

Overall, the business idea was great. The use of a local historical building, great. But it all feels like whitewash, the theme of the restaurant has little to do with the vibe of it. The food which started out being good has declined, at least on my last visit. This might be a great location for the college student, but I can't recommend taking anyone else here, especially if you want to hear what they...

Short version: Food was pretty good. Got stuck with a new waiter. Literally first day for him, but we didn't know that from the beginning. Really slow service. A little too pricey for what it is, and the customer service is lacking.

The fuller picture: I ordered a 20 ounce beer, it came out in a 16. I told him about it, he argued, I showed him the menu where it said 20 ounce. He took it back to the bar... and this is one reason why they got the lower score:

The experienced bartender comes up with a correct glass and sits it down with a little attitude, telling me that I am right about the size (and at 7 bucks a glass? Yes, it does matter) and instead of leaving the 16 out of customer service, or grace, or class, she picks it up to take back, and I ask, "so you're just going to dump that down the sink?" To which she replies, "yes," with that little attitude and look as if I am trying to pull a fast one, and walks away. The people at the adjacent table looked as bewildered as us.

Yes,I have heard that some times the "regular" and "large" glasses, although differently shaped, contain the same amount of liquid. But that's not the issue here, because there was only one option, one price on the menu.

So I drank the 20 ouncer in due time, with no appetizer, and waited for the waiter to come back. It was a good ten minutes with a near empty to empty glass before I sat the glass on the corner of the table, upside down, with a penny on it. Another bartender saw this from the bar and came over, explaining how it was the waiter's literal first day, and how, although the waiter saw the message, he wouldn't know what it meant etc.

So that's the second reason for the low score... Most restaurants (especially the pricey ones) will train the wait staff at least a few days, and generally, when a waiter is new, they tell you in advance instead of apologizing after the fact.

The third reason for the low rating...

Too pricey for what it is. It's like the place has no soul. I had never been before, so maybe back in the proverbial day it felt welcoming etc. But I have no nostalgia for it, myself. It comes off as a matured college bar trying to hold on to the presence of a classy dive bar. No ambience. No noticeable music above the din. Bar area was moderately filled, but tables were pretty sparse.

The only reason we went there was because the Scioto Ribber was jam packed with an hour and a half wait. After the experience, we should have gone to the...

I love the environment of this place.

The prohibition-era theme is incredibly immersive and even educational if you're not keenly familiar with that part of America's history. From the classic car near the entrance to the old speakeasy-themed signs and classic light fixtures, the aesthetic here is cute and memorable. Even the menu items are named after classic figures -- mostly gangsters, real and fictitious. The Luca Brasi? It's fish ... get it?

The food, though, is a little hit or miss. I've been there twice, and both times I thoroughly enjoyed the appetizers and sides, but the main course was a bit disappointing.

This last time, I ordered their version of the classic Philly Cheesesteak (or Irishman, as they call it), and I should've known something was up when the server asked me if wanted "chicken or beef" ... What??? "Steak" is in the name. But I guess that's OK. It's good to give options, right? It just caught me off guard. It also didn't help that the waitress relied on her memory to take the order and did not write down what we wanted. Oof! Not a fan, especially in louder places with music playing over the stereo.

The meat and veggies in the sandwich were fine, but skimpy compared to other cheesesteaks I've had in the past. And while the "beer cheese" is indeed a unique touch, it gives the cheesesteak an odd, sour flavor. My main complaint, though, is that it's about 90% bread -- and dry bread. Add to that, the flavor of the yeast in the "cheese sauce," and it's way too much bread. I removed the top half of the bread and it was a little better, but not something I'd order again.

I had sweet potato tots as the side, however, and those were delicious. I've had other sides in the past as well that were very good. It's not a bad experience, but for what you're paying -- especially in this area of the state and country -- I just would expect a little more.

To be fair, though, I love downtown Portsmouth and am excited about what is happening, especially around Second Street, so I'd definitely still recommend eating here. The atmosphere alone is worth the trip. Add to that, the tasty sides and diverse drink selection, and it's...