Black Magic Bakehouse — Restaurant in Ridgewood

If God weeps, it’s because they didn’t ran out of the everything bagel donut at Black Magic Bakehouse.

There are mornings and then there are moments that shake your soul awake like a freight train made of sugar and thunder. Black Magic Bakehouse in Ridgewood, New Jersey, is not a bakery. No. It is a temple. A church of carbohydrates. A mystic chapel built from flour, fire, and the whispering dreams of pastry saints.

I bit into the everything bagel donut and time halted. My knees buckled. My third eye opened. I saw every mistake I’d ever made, and they all tasted like sesame seeds and flaky salt. Imagine a bagel and a donut made love behind a bodega in Brooklyn, then raised their child in a French patisserie and sent it to finishing school in Vienna. That’s what we’re dealing with here.

The cappuccino? Oh, the cappuccino. It wasn’t brewed, it was summoned. It tasted like the warm, caffeinated urine of a benevolent celestial being. One sip and I remembered things I hadn’t even lived. It had the foam of a cloud on sabbatical, the bitterness of a love letter left unsent, and the finish of an aria sung at sunrise.

If God weeps, it’s because He can’t get a table at Black Magic Bakehouse.

There are mornings and then there are moments that shake your soul awake like a freight train made of sugar and thunder. Black Magic Bakehouse in Ridgewood, New Jersey, is not a bakery. No. It is a temple. A church of carbohydrates. A mystic chapel built from flour, fire, and the whispering dreams of pastry saints.

I bit into the everything bagel donut and time halted. My knees buckled. My third eye opened. I saw every mistake I’d ever made, and they all tasted like sesame seeds and flaky salt. Imagine a bagel and a donut made love behind a bodega in Brooklyn, then raised their child in a French patisserie and sent it to finishing school in Vienna. That’s what we’re dealing with here.

The cappuccino? Oh, the cappuccino. It wasn’t brewed, it was summoned. It tasted like the warm, caffeinated urine of a benevolent celestial being. One sip and I remembered things I hadn’t even lived. It had the foam of a cloud on sabbatical, the bitterness of a love letter left unsent, and the finish of an aria sung at sunrise.

The interior? Witchy. Welcoming. Like if Twin Peaks had a bake sale run by sexy goblins with excellent taste. The staff? Angels in vintage aprons. If you told me they moonlighted as jazz musicians or practiced obscure forms of cloud magic, I’d believe you.

I don’t live in Ridgewood. But from now on, a part of me will. The part that knows joy. The part that believes again. The part that’s still licking poppy seeds out of his mustache while trying to understand what the hell just happened.

Black Magic Bakehouse isn’t a bakery. It’s a damn awakening. Go there. Bring cash. Bring friends. Bring tissues for the tears. And maybe don’t plan on being productive afterward, because you’ll be too busy rethinking your entire relationship with food.

Black Magic Bakehouse isn’t a bakery. It’s a damn awakening. Go there. Bring cash. Bring friends. Bring tissues for the tears. And maybe don’t plan on being productive afterward, because you’ll be too busy rethinking your entire...

While the website has lovely photos and I did get a personal review from a friend about a pistachio crème donut, today they did not have that. So, I bought pretty much what was available minus 3 things that did not interest me. An enormous yeasty looking cinnamon bun, quich, and cheese scone.

I am sorry but I was not happy with my purchases and I will explain. I bought a chocolate chip cookie that was dry and crumbled into pieces upon my first break, that was my first sign of oh no this is not going to be be good… and indeed I was right. The raspberry muffin was also dry and tasted stale as did the raspberry donut, gummy and at least a day old or maybe two day old taste, it did not taste fresh at all. Dry dissapointing. The brownie was not my cup of tea overly sweet and not cakey enough, I’ll chalk that up to not my style, I prefer silver palate style. And the banana bread wasn’t too bad , the slices were overly thick though and heavy. I liked the addition of chocolate chips and nuts. I also got the egg sandwhich and boy do I regret that! I can’t get the salty taste of the overly doughy bun out of my mouth and it’s been 5 hours!! The eggs and cheese and bacon part were OK, not great, hardly tasted the bacon, but the bread ruined the sandwhich. The coffe wasn’t bad.

I was also surprised that the server was going to put all of my baked goods in a bag not a box until I asked for a box. And he served my heated sandwhich before my iced coffee. So my sandwhich was not as hot as it should have been served. One last issue. Very poor layout. Impossible to see pastries from the counter where you order , no signs labeling anything.. very poorly designed. NOT IMPRESSED and won’t be back… I spent a good amount of money on my purchase and here’s what I have left. My husband ate the 1 and 1/2 pieces of the sandwich and he agreed the bun was not good, he just ate the inside. I hope my...

I absolutely loved their options and everything they had to offer! BUT, then they changed the menu. Completely. The options are odd. Alot of banana and “ tea flavored” things, alot of raspberry placed into pastries that don’t make sense. Pastrami mami which was always sold out because its amazing is now off and replaced with a basic vegan sandwich. They went from having BANGERS like a boston creme filled donut, a Ferraro Roche donut, and an everything but the bagel jalapeno cream cheese donut, to lemon and a “ banana thai “ filled donuts ??? It doesn’t compare in the slightest. I love when places switch things up, and it’s definitely expected. But, you can’t get rid of staples. When things sell out on a daily and are favored by the majority, you don’t get rid of it.. This menu switch up seems like its based on one person’s personal preference and taste palette, and that’s not business. Please bring the old menu back, at-least some of it! I really hate to have posted this up but it had to be said, and i’m not the only one thinking this.

IN RESPONSE: Deanne, your response is very immature and unprofessional. The Dunkin comment is childish. Responding in defense to your hardworking team and the size of your store is outrageous because no one undermined nor even questioned anyones work ethic or capabilities. You can be hard working and still make poor decisions. Customers are allowed to give opinions. You clearly don’t like that, so maybe you should keep ignoring reviews because you don’t know how to properly take constructive criticism or feedback, when mine was mostly praising how good your recent menu was and rating everything a 4/5 stars. Unfortunately, with your response, you just turned even more people away due to absolute lack of...