Rain Forest Food Pavilion — Restaurant in Seattle

You've done it. You've found the worst hamburger in Seattle.

I know, it's a zoo for pity's sake, what do I expect a gourmet experience? I'm telling you I had low expectations and they still found a way to fail to meet them.

The burger has a strange texture, I had to go double check that it wasn't the veggie patty or something. It wasn't juicy it was just sort of... wet? I think they're taking frozen patties and either microwaving them or heating them by simmering them in something? It's a strange combination of wet but with a really dry mouth feel. Coupled with the giant slab of tomato and big leaf of lettuce this gives the slipperiest soggiest burger You've ever had while ALSO having zero good flavor. I think maybe the keepers are running an experiment to see just how gross a dish they can get people to eat.

The other food is not much better. Somebody decided that bar food is what people at the zoo want to buy their children. There's the regrettable burger, pizza, chicken strips, a giant pretzel, and a grilled cheese. If that sounds like the menu at your neighborhood dive that's because it is. Don't ask me why, I can't figure it out either. If I ever find out who manages this place I'm going to hit them with my car and throw their carcass in the lion enclosure*.

I kid, I have no actual ill-will for the poor sod they have running this joint, they have enough issues in their life.

I came back a second time and this time I tried the Mac and cheese and it is ALSO the worst in Seattle. They've come up with a cheese sauce without cheese. It tastes like flour. I think their recipe says "step 1: make a roux with butter and flour, step 7: mix in cooked pasta." with a bunch of illegible steps in between and it never occurred to the poor cursed fools who work here that maybe macaroni and cheese could incorporate CHEESE. EFF this joint I'm going to the 7-11 on the corner from now on. At least over there you have a chance at getting...

Foods looks good but their entire system is insufficiently staffed and organized. Took me 10 minutes to order a taco and i have been waiting another 10 minutes to get my lunch... Still waiting... I wonder what the penguins are eating... I feel bad for the taco lady... My toddler might be out of diapers by the time we eat, that would be nice... Still waiting... Getting close to dinner time... One taco at a time... All the ice has melted in my cup... I think i just heard a wolf howl at the moon... People are seriously exchanging snacks in line with me... I forgot how taster unsalted almonds are... Even an elephant could have forgotten what he ordered... Still waiting... The taco lady is grilling tortillas on demand... My child just entered first grade... They should show movies like on a long plane flight... Still waiting... Someone just picked up something they ordered for breakfast i think... Still waiting... My wife keeps calling me, she is going to take the kids home for a nap... People are watching us from behind a plane of glass... Wait... Are we the exhibit?... The guy in front of me just has his wife leave him... She couldn't wait any longer, hey old boyfriend just returned from deployment... People are starting to clap when they get their food... They just ran out of beef... Still waiting... Still waiting......

The zoo is huge and you can do a lot to use up your energy. We decided to stop after walking for a couple of hours and grab some food. We went to the 1899 Grove location. They have kiosks you can order on, and the offerings are a little expensive, but typical for zoo food. I did not buy any drinks, as I had brought a reusable water bottle and filled it up at the fountain. I got a burger with fries, and my partner got the market special which comes with a grilled cheese and a tomato basil soup. He also got a side of mac and cheese because it said it used Beecher's, and he wanted to see how different it was from the Beecher's in Pike Place Market. We placed our order and then waited for the screen to show our order was ready for pick-up. The burger and fries were really good. I was not expecting much, honestly, but the burger was kind of like a smash burger and had a lot of flavor. The grilled cheese was nice and had several cheeses in it, and it went very well with the tomato basil soup. The mac and cheese was very bland, honestly, but the amount they gave for the $8 price point was more than I was expecting. Overall, it can be expensive to eat here. The portions are pretty nice though, and the quality was higher than most zoo food places I...