Time Market — Restaurant in Tucson

So I was having another existential crisis the other day and deciding whether or not to become a horse wrangler or a soundcloud rapper (if those are even still a thing). I couldn’t find my belt buckle, but I did find my notepad, my NWA shirt and a beanie, so I opted for the latter obviously. I figured if I wanted the full struggling artist 8-Mile experience in my late 30s, I should probably take public transportation and make sure the other poors know I have a fire in my belly when I angrily scribble lyrics about canned tuna and double crossing strippers. Luckily, I only had to walk a half mile to get to a Sun Link light rail station on 2nd street. Unluckily, my beanie was drenching from sweat and I had to forego the Detroit look for the time being. I had to find a window seat for the whole gazing out the window for inspiration vibe but the only one available was next to a large, sweaty lady with a funny hat and green crocs. I had to give her an unintentional lapdance and finally sat down as best I could without copping a feel from her love rolls. She smelled like In And Out Burger and it inspired me to start writing lyrics about how I live life animal style and how I dip my enemies in ketchup before I eat them no diddy or something. I was creatively exhausted after two minutes and just started people watching while trying to avoid more bodily contact with Crocs lady. She was too busy sweating and playing Nintendo Switch to notice me struggle.

But then I overheard someone say to his girlfriend that “Time Market” was coming up soon and that they needed to get off. I muttered “Time Market? A market for time?? Did anyone else hear that?” Smelly McMuffintop finally acknowledged my existence and said “it’s got good air conditioning” and that was enough for me to squeeze past her like a stick of butter between two bean bags. I got off in front of this mysterious market on University and 3rd Avenue and it felt like the start of some grand adventure. Like Harry Potter going to Hogwarts or Luke Skywalker getting out of Tattooine to go fight for space terrorists. I’m just happy it was spelled T-I-M-E and not T-H-Y-M-E because i’m sick of business puns and i’m not a fan of spice and herb stores and getting caught in infinite sneeze loops..

So I walked in and it was a spacious, clean cross between a coffee shop, bakery, a mini grocer, a pizzeria, fancy little bodega and a giant wine rack your weird aunt keeps hidden behind a bookshelf. Of course I immediately went up to one of the employees at the busy bakery and feigned a concerned look. “Can I help you, sir?” she kindly asked between restocking pastries. “Yes, do you have the TIME”. And I definitely put emphasis on the word time, for the record. She answered it was quarter past two and I said “well, how much for an hour back”? A Karen behind me gave one of those ‘hurry up’ coughs because evidently she didn’t have her daily gluten free scone to distract her from how much her kids loath her. “Sorry, I don’t understand? An hour back?” “Yeah, I thought this was a time market! Huh?? Huhh??” She then just ignored me and went to the back to do some kneading or whatever it is bakers like to do to avoid human contact. “Oh just great” scoffed the Karen. I slowly turned around and she had her arms crossed and her forehead wrinkles were more distracting than her haircut. “I’d say something, but I don’t want to waste anymore TIME here at Time Market, lady. Good luck with the scones”.

I perused the aisles of fresh produce & pretended to know about wine by putting my ears of to the bottles and sniffing the corks. I generally soaked in the vibes. Then I figured I may as well try the coffee where the baristas were true pros making sure steam was everywhere and that there was plenty of lever pulling. So after deciding not to be TOO pretentious, I just ordered a green tea latte and sipped it semi-pretentiously while writing out more raps about strippers and scones. However, now that i’ve had a green tea latte, my rap career is over. Oh well. Great time either...

(Updated…AGAIN 05/10/24) I get it, this place is cool and trendy but let me make a few things clear. 1. I have never seen people try so hard to act like Cali hipsters or barista‘s in Williamsburg Brooklyn than I have at Time. 2. Most of the workers must be desperate for money because they give you the dirtiest, ugliest looks if you don’t leave a tip. I’m sorry but you don’t deserve a tip for putting my 2 bottles of water into a paper bag. The guys behind the counter making the food deserve the tip. 3. The workers sit at their corners talking and ignoring customers. I’d complain to the owner but I’ve heard many situations where he is unhelpful and actually a little creepy and rude. I turned 22 in June of 2023 and one girl was so mean and nasty to me because I still have an under 21 ID yet I’m not in my home state to get a new one and the darn thing doesn’t expire until 2027 so who honestly gives a flying 🦆, I’m still 22 and the state of Arizona allows you to use any valid license when requested by a worker. I typically greet everyone with kindness and a smile. This review might make you feel otherwise but just believe me on this, If you’d like to go to an establishment where you’re judged by pretentious and ignorant workers such as the ones at this subpar restaurant, then this is the place to be. Hope this can keep you away:)

P.S. to the owner. Don’t try any of your sarcastic rude responses with me. It’ll only prove how immature and irresponsible you are when it comes to your business dealings, we all know how Rincon Market turned out 😬. By the way, the cashier still sold me the alcohol because I’m clearly over 21, she was just miserable.

(05/10/24) Earlier today, I decided to give my review a check, just out of curiosity as I have recently moved back to the East Coast after having graduated and wanted to look back at my honest reviews. To no surprise, Peter responded and the randomness of his new response simply shows his pettiness. It’s crazy how this man gaslights any customer who leaves a bad review. It’s truly pathetic but not as pathetic as when he flirts with his employees..😬 There was literally a social media account called “surviving time market” about former employees and their terrible experiences. FYI Pete, it’s illegal to pay people for fake...

WOW, This was the strangest visit to Time Market I have ever had. For a bit I was known as the cookie man, coming in and buying 20+ cookies so I could freeze them. Another time spending hundreds of dollars doing Xmas shopping last minute for my entire family, the staff became amused. I would often drop $20's for tips at the register during covid. This was my place. I felt the need to spend as much money locally as possible.

Today, Saturday at 1:45 I came in to order pizza. Something I do often. However always online. Today, I had the pleasure of watching the food preparation in person. I have owned restaurants and this was unreal.......

As I watch a human tap a screen, to then go to a sink, to then get a glass water via turning a faucet and then return to make a salad with bare hands, I thought, I can look past this.... They didn't go to the sink to wash ones hands but hey such is life. I laughed as they put on a glove to toss the salad dressing and not dirty ones hand. They quickly removed the glove once the hand was out of harms way from the dressing, then back to bare hand salad preparation they went.

I mean maybe I am just not woke enough? Keep reading it gets better.

I can no longer watch salad maker, so I turn, hoping to find a new point of focus. I watch and see the pizza chef remove a hat to run ones hand through ones hair, slide ones finger under ones nose to catch the perspiration and with ones bare hands toss a pizza dough into the sky. I could have vomited at the very sight of all of this.

The best food in all of Tucson has new flavor notes I will never forget. I asked a very kind human for my $12 back and left to never return. Pardon the expression but holy ---------, I actually looked right and left and thought i was being punked. The owner is welcome to a condescending response but you can view my other reviews and see that I have never given under 5 Stars until today. I only give stars when they are deserved. Time Market gets 1. I just read other negative reviews, I want it noted that I take no issue with the personal style of those that work here. I was a stylist for years and ones outfit or look is irrelevant to personality. I have always enjoyed the vibe, the kindness and the interactions, but today...