Papa Johns Pizza — Restaurant in Virginia

In my life, I thought I had seen it all. The symphony of birds at dawn, the tranquil embrace of a mountain lake at dusk, the majestic sweep of eagles in flight. I’ve felt the thrill of skiing down powdery slopes and the peace of a quiet forest path.

But nothing could have prepared me for the epic saga that was ordering from Papa John’s.

I’ve often wondered what it must feel like to be at the mercy of fate. To be a ship tossed in a storm, a deer caught in headlights, a man waiting for a pizza. Today, I found out.

It all began with a simple order. Pizza and wings. Innocent enough, right? Two hours later, my children were performing an impromptu fasting protest. “Daddy, are we ever going to eat?” they whimpered, their eyes hollow with hunger.

Determined to solve this culinary mystery, I called the restaurant. To my delight, the manager answered. I explained my plight, expecting some empathy, maybe even an update. Instead, I was met with the sound of a phone slamming down. Call after call, it was the same: instant hang-up. At this point, I started to believe I was part of some cruel hidden camera show.

Three hours in, the pizza finally arrived. Cold. The wings? The wrong flavor. Instead of lemon pepper, we got... spicy buffalo. My wife, the eternal optimist, decided to give them a try. She promptly declared them “hotter than Demi Lovato’s spoon” and went to bed hungry.

The next morning, I found myself gazing at the leftover pizza. It had the distinct aroma of failure and broken dreams. I considered framing it as a monument to the worst customer service experience of my life.

If you’re ever curious about what it feels like to be treated like an afterthought, a mere blip on the radar of a disinterested pizza empire, order from Papa John’s. Just make sure you have a backup plan for dinner. And maybe breakfast.

Heed my warning, friends: don’t be the hungry deer caught in Papa John’s headlights....

In my life, I feel I’ve experienced it all. The winds whistling through the trees on a warm summer’s day. The blue waters of the Caribbean hugging me as if Mother Nature herself were granting me a warm embrace. I’ve witnessed the humble bison calmly feasting on the fresh grasses of the Grand Tetons, and I have also seen the ferocious lions of the Serengeti feasting on the helpless gazelle.

I’ve often pondered throughout my life what it must have felt like to be that poor baby gazelle. Helpless, afraid… calling out to anyone that will listen for rescue. To have to confront the harshest of realities, which one day will catch up with us all.

This establishment has finally granted me the perspective I’ve been after. If you ever want to experience being treated so poorly that the entire ordeal could be considered akin to being eaten alive, then look no further.

My children are my source of pride. It wasn’t until 2 hours after I ordered the pizza that they finally asked… “Daddy, I’m so hungry. Will we eat soon?”

I consider myself to be quite the problem solver - with haste I picked up my phone and dialed the restaurant. To my delight, the manager answered. Upon sharing my plight and politely asking for an update to tell my hungry children, he hung up.

Again. And again. And again. Finally, when my wife decided to call, the manager decided he would grant us the opportunity to hear the delightful sound of an out of service telephone.

When the pizza finally arrived after 3 hours, my children had unfortunately passed on to the other side. My wife, stubborn as she was, refused to eat the pizza after finding human hair, spit, and feces in her toppings.

As such, she eventually passed on as well.

This pizza establishment has taken everything from me. Just as the lion did to the gazelle. Heed my warning, friends: do not be the...

I ordered a pizza for delivery from this location using the Papa Johns app at about 5pm and requested a 6:15pm delivery. The order processed fine on my end but in a short while, I received an order confirmation email saying the pizza will be delivered at about 5:30pm (45 minutes early). I called this location immediately but was placed on hold for about 10 minutes until I spoke to Dante, the manager - by then to pizza was already in route. I explained the issue and he stated that the app doesn’t work properly unless the order ahead is at least 4 hours in advance. He insinuated that I should know about this defect. He also insinuated that I may be trying to get away with something since I apparently made a complaint in the past (I checked and my last order from Papa Johns was a year ago and once again two years before that). I never asked for any money back so I’m not sure what I was trying to get away with. In the end, Dante reluctantly agreed to send a replacement pizza set to be delivered at 6:15pm (as ordered) - a very reasonable accommodation - except the pizza was never delivered. Based on how I thought the conversation with Dante sounded, we did not eat the first pizza, expecting that an exchange would be required (keeping the fresh and hot one in exchange for the cold pizza delivered at the wrong time). When the promised pizza never came, we had no choice but to eat the first one. This is a great example of how not to manage. With all of the pizza delivery options available, I would choose any other one before ordering from this deceiptful and poorly managed location again. By the way, the pizza was not very...