Dan Dan Boy — Restaurant in Washington

I don't enjoy leaving 1-star reviews, but unfortunately, the food here is not good; it's honestly terrible. I'd like to begin by saying that I'm not Chinese, nor would I consider myself an expert on regional Chinese cuisines. Having said that, I've consumed a fair amount of traditional Chinese food in my life. Dan Dan Boy misses the mark entirely.

I ordered the hand-drawn noodles with chicken. It was $18 plus tax -- not cheap, but neither is anything at Union Market. It's the holiday season, so I felt generous and tipped. $24 total. No big deal, because I was excited to try the food. The food at least came out very hot, so I'll give them that. What I received was essentially a bowl of soup. I can't even pinpoint what the broth was made of, but it was not traditional, and a complete miss. It had a weird combination of noodles too; not just the wider hand-drawn noodles, but it had what appeared to be spaghetti noodles mixed in. Initially, I thought one or two Dan Dan noodles had gone rogue, but as I continued eating, the ratio of incorrect noodles climbed even higher -- almost intentionally so. Even if they were all the same, they simply were not executed well. The chicken came in large chunks, most of which was somehow extremely dry, even when immersed in a bowl of hot soup. There was also a weird combination of vegetables, and nothing seemed to go together. Very low quality, and would...

Absolutely, here's a polished review fit for Google:

🌟 Dan Dan Boy - A Hidden Gem in Union Market 🌟

Dan Dan Boy, located within Union Market, offers an authentic and delightful Chinese dining experience. With a diverse menu of Sichuan specialties, this casual eatery is a must-visit for anyone seeking delicious comfort food.

Ambiance: The relaxed and welcoming ambiance at Dan Dan Boy makes it the perfect spot for a quick bite or a leisurely meal.

Menu Highlights: Dan Dan Noodles (四川担担面): Rich in flavor with Sichuan chili crisp oil. Garlic Noodles: Simple yet delicious. Sichuan Beef Noodle Soup (川味牛肉面): Hearty and comforting. Mala Mao Hot Pot Bowl (四川冒菜): For spice lovers. Mapo Tofu Rice Bowl (麻婆豆腐盖饭): A classic favorite.

Service: The friendly and attentive staff ensure a pleasant dining experience, accommodating special requests with ease.

Overall Experience: Dan Dan Boy offers quality food and a warm atmosphere, making it a standout choice in Union Market. Highly recommended for anyone craving authentic Chinese cuisine!

Enjoy your meal at Dan...

The restaurant industry is hard and Yelp can make it more or less difficult. Because of that, I try to be kind in my reviews, even when giving the rare one-star rating. Sadly, my experience at Dan Dan Boy was a one star episode. It's possible they had an off day so read this with a grain of salt.

1. Food: I ordered the Dan Dan noodles assuming it was their speciality given the name. Obsessed with these noodles, I've had my share around the world, in D.C., and while living in Beijing. Dan Dan Boy's are the worst I've had. The noodles were over cooked and literally spaghetti noodles. The pork was very dry and chunky with odd texture. The flavors were non-existent, masked a pool of oil that took over the entire bowl. Even the green onions tasted poorly.

2. Price: My bowl of Dan Dan noodles cost $18- a steep price for a bowl that tasted not great.

With many other worthy food stands at Union Market, I'd reconsider Dan Dan Boy. I will go back, though, to see if it was...