302 South — Restaurant in Wheaton

So, my good buddy, Johnny, aka Johnny bag of donuts was all like flipping out about this place telling me I need to try it out and that it's totally fantastic, great place to take the kids and omg they have THE BEST ONION RINGS.

That was the first red flag. Who raves about onion rings anyway? Raving about an onion ring is like raving about pump number nine at the Mobile on Ogden and being like oh my gosh pump number nine. It's the smoothest pump at the gas station. It's incredible. You've got to try pump number 9. You've got to try it. It's the best pump in the gas station.

Ok pal, calm down.

Any sane human is thinking yeah it's a gas pump and a gas pump is a gas pump and they all pump gas. If you've pumped gas on pump 1 or pump 2, it's the same as pump 9 or even pump 8. Pump 8 doesn't get enough love.

But no, John went on raving about these onion rings like there were some mythological creature. A unicorn onion ring only available at 302 South in Wheaton and it's the greatest onion ring your legal tender for all that's public and private possibly purchase.

So I caved.

We went there to try the mythical onion ring.

And my thoughts?

Well let me tell you this onion ring is a cut above the rest. This onion ring was superlative. This onion ring could quite possibly bring world Peace. This onion ring was yummy.

Never mind the fact that the food is yummy and affordable. Ignore the fact that it is centrally located in a lovely shopping area. Ignore the fact that the staff is friendly and kind and attentive. Ignore the fact that they have a lovely outdoor seating. And by all means, definitely ignore the fact that they have a wonderful beer selection, you most certainly want to ignore that wonderful, wonderful fact. At the end of the day, nothing else matters but how the onion ring performs.

All of these high praise are nothing because the onion ring is superlative.

Come for the onion ring. Eat the onion ring. Savor the onion ring. Be...

🚨SKIBIDI ALERT🚨 Pull up to 302 South Wheaton and you’ll witness my boy Sean Facer absolutely COOKING & DISHWASHING on the same rizz frequency. 🤯 Bro is literally the Skibidi Toilet Prime Minister of Cuisine 💀.

I walked in and instantly got hit with the fanum tax just breathing the air. 🗿🍽️ Sean’s back there like a Gyatt Sigma NPC with maxed out dishwasher perk tree, scrubbing pans at Ohio frame rates while simultaneously cheffing up food that made my taste buds hit the Griddy. 😭🙏

No kizzy, this man is the GigaChad Rizler of South Wheaton. Every plate bussin so hard I thought I was in a Breaking Bad skibidi crossover episode. I took one bite and unlocked the Side Quest: Tastebud Ascension. 🧌

By the time he was done, Sean had the whole kitchen vibing like a Skibidi Dop Dop Yes Yes Yes final boss fight. 🔥👹 Plates? Clean. Food? Gas. Vibes? Certified Ohio Sigma Rizz Arcane Pack.

Bro is himothy, himboss, himbo slice, literally HIM. 🐐 Sean doesn’t wash dishes, he Ohio Riz Washes them. Doesn’t cook food, he Sigma Riz Chefs it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Review: 302 South Wheaton wouldn’t even EXIST without Sean’s Skibidi NPC Riz...

What can you say about this place. It’s awesome! From the food, which is a throwback to how burgers used to taste like, to the atmosphere and the price everything was perfect. This place is for everyone, if you want to come have a beer and watch the game, come on a date, or come with your kids there is something for everyone. The kids have a little green area to play outside, bring a ball, while the parents can sit and enjoy a beer. All for a price cheaper than your local fast food. If you are deciding where to go, stop scrolling reviews and come, you won’t be disappointed. Note for the owners, get bigger straws for the shakes it is really hard to drink through the skinny ones and they...