Colonia Dairy Maid — Restaurant in Woodbridge Township

I don’t even know where to begin. I came here expecting a moment of simple joy — a sweet, summery pause in the chaos of life. You know, something wholesome. Something pure. Something that would, just for a second, make me forget the slow, crumbling state of the world. Instead, I left $27 lighter, emotionally confused, and spiritually betrayed.

Let me set the scene.

I walked into this place with hope in my heart and a crisp $20 in my hand — thank god, because they only take cash. Yes. You read that right. Cash. In the year 2025. No Apple Pay. No card. No tap. Not even Venmo. Are they operating out of a time machine? Are they part of some underground anti-technology cult? Or is this just the front for a highly elaborate money laundering scheme involving suspiciously melty ice cream? I guess we’ll never know. All I know is I had to dig through my car’s glove compartment like a raccoon searching for quarters just to afford a cone.

And that cone? Oh, the cone. Let’s talk about the cone.

There was a sign that said the large cone is around $8. Fine. Painful, but fine. I asked the girl behind the counter if it came with three scoops. She said yes. Great. Easy decision. But when I ordered it — SURPRISE — suddenly the scoops cost extra. Scoops that she just told me were included. I stood there doing the mental math of a defeated peasant. Why are you playing emotional games with me at an ice cream shop? Why is this like a choose-your-own-adventure story where every path leads to me paying more?

But wait. It gets worse. Oh, so much worse.

As I’m standing there in silence, watching my brother order a simple vanilla cone, I hear the same girl whisper to her coworker — and I quote — “Is this even vanilla? 😂” followed by “No it’s not,” and then the absolute dagger to my soul: “Oh well.”

Oh well.

OH WELL??

You just openly admitted to serving the wrong flavor and laughed about it like you’re in some low-budget sitcom. What even was it then? Coconut? Garlic? Recycled Play-Doh? I don’t know, and apparently neither do they. But “oh well,” right?

At that point, I wasn’t even mad. I was just broken. I ate my overpriced betrayal in silence, staring into the distance like a war veteran reflecting on battles no one else understands. My brother took one bite of his “vanilla” and looked like he was solving a complex riddle with his tongue. We finished our cones like sad little clowns at the end of a very disappointing circus.

In conclusion: I came in seeking a cone. I left with trust issues. This place will not only rob your wallet — it will rob your joy, your peace, and your sense of reality. One star, only because I...

This place looks old school, fun & nostalgic!! it brings with it lots of childhood memories, no matter where you are from , I guess we all grew up loving ice cream as children and I bet we all have at least one local street corner ice cream shop which we remember from our childhood days that makes us smile when we think of the uncomplicated beautiful times spent. Well Colonia Dairy Maid reminds me of just that, modest , pocket-friendly , huge in portion yet yum!! They serve very creamy ice creams in loaded varieties of flavors , from the popular ones to seasonal fruits, also quirky ones as pina- coladas. You get it in cups cones sundaes & floats!! This was my first time with my frds who are regulars, so they ordered their favorites, the orange pineapple was outa world, it was indeed refreshing, & pinacolada wasnt as great though as per my taste bud, the pineapple was very fruity & fresh, Black rasberry was loaded in flavor too. I ordered a butter crunch, it was buttery creamy & crunch from the caramel made it stand out even more, the sea-salty touch from the caramel perfectly balanced the sweetness of the butter..& omg their portion is HUGE, a small cup has four scoops & their smallest size is “Dixie” which is quite big I feel😂 But how much Ice cream is more ? Lol A great hangout spot & is opened till 10.30 pm on a summer night, people usually come for a night binge & this place could be very busy, but servers are quick & polite!! There are benches on the backside where you can hangout & enjoy your creamy scoops while chitchatting !! Overall an amazing place & I definitely recommend!! ALSO DO REMEMBER ITS A...

On the second hottest day of this year I needed to pick up an ice cream cake I had ordered. Not thinking, my timing put me onto a rather long line, in full sun, along with a host of high schoolers on their way home. As I neared the entrance it appeared that there was only one person behind the counter. A few of the kids asked for samples before placing their orders. The young woman behind the counter continued to smile and work efficiently and the line continued to inch along. When I finally made it to the head of the line to retrieve my cake I was pleasantly surprised, not only by Gia's friendly greeting, but also the beautiful cake that had been created. The story doesn't end there, however. When the cake was served everyone was pleasantly amazed that the cake was made, per my request, with Salted Caramel Pretzel ice cream, the favorite flavor of the birthday celebrant! And that's why Colonia Dairy Maid has been my "go to" ice cream shop for over 40 years! A very special shout out to GIA for her grace under pressure, outstanding...