The Quarter Pounder with Cheese Statue — Attraction in Rapid City

Stakes are high. The communists are invading and threats have loomed of the falling of this beautiful monument, defining America. Ever since the burger was invented by John Hamburger, this monument has been the only physical display of honor to Mr. Hamburger, and to the intricate culture of our country. After John discovered the first McDonald’s in what is now Hamburg, Germany in 1834, the world was changed forever. This monument honors that. We can’t let it capsize under the wrath of the communists. If your tax money is good for anything, it’s for the stationing of snipers on nearby buildings, keeping watch, day and night, from the sneaky, burger hating communists. Their watchful eye over this inanimate hero, is the most heroic action in effect by our government. Every morning, I lay offerings of a Large Fry and McNuggets, to accompany the valiant presence of this statue. I marvel at its craftsmanship for hours on end. Once, I sat beside it in meditation for multiple days, and experienced an enlightening unlike any other. The things I learned, are too powerful, too beautiful for the finite intelligence of our kind. To share these thoughts would cause the wisest of minds to collapse in on themselves. So I shall conceal, leave the world to their futile tasks, oblivious to the boundless knowledge I have obtained. I wish the best of humanity, and the best of this statue, may god bless it. May this enlightenment grace minds more brilliant than mine own. Peace be upon you, and...

American culture spans centuries and comes in various forms. If Rushmore and the Statue of Liberty symbolizes America’s past, then this masterpiece made of bronze is a testament to America’s present. The QPC Statue is masterfully crafted, each ingredient ingeniously portrayed by lifelike metal, uncannily taking on the appearance of a real Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Each curve and vertice of the artisan’s statue displays prodigious artistic expression which can only be compared to the likes of Van Gogh and Picasso, yet the aforementioned artists seem impotent in comparison to the magnum opus of America. When archaeologists 10,000 years in the future rediscover American culture, they will cast aside Lady Liberty in favor of the true monument that symbolizes us. A pinnacle of fast food, capitalism, and ingenuity that makes the United States what it is today.

Upon arriving to this sacred site myself, I began to weep at the brilliance and beauty of the QPC. I got on my knees and began to pray, for only a God could have created this beautiful manifestation of Americana. Then Ronald McDonald himself bestowed me with his divine knowledge and I transcended into a higher state of mind, freed from the shackles of mortality. I can die happy now, having visited this most Holy location surpassing Mecca and Jerusalem as the most sacred place in the world. Rapid City, South Dakota is truly the best city in the...

The Roman Empire produced lesser works. Ancient Greece? Pathetic. It is incumbent upon future generations to preserve this god-given beauty through the ages. One day, when the ashes of our long-lost society are being studied, it will not be Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, or even all of the Black Hills that defines the heart and soul of our greatness, but it will be the QPC Statue. A true testament to the divine splendor of human...