Grand Park Royal Cozumel — Hotel in San Miguel de Cozumel

TL;DR/BLUFF: Perverts, ants, deceitful general manager, customer service and hospitality seemed like a chore(likely a result of bad management), surprise 90m time share spiels when offered coupons to their over priced rentals, services, and excursions(find better and cheaper elsewhere), bathroom deathtraps, hour long check-in process, long waits for help, views /sounds / crowds of 3-4 new cruise ships a day right out front of resort all day long - meaning little-no ocean view from your ocean view room, road noise, dinner hall has a constant mechanical sound permeating through resort 24hrs, cold showers, One 6pax max elevator for ~400 rooms in 10 story building, cold rooms (17c) with placebo thermostats, phone tag, showers/sinks of all three rooms didn’t drain properly, multitude of reservation issues, long walks and waits for subpar food and drink(depending on bartender / tipping [i budget for tips and I have tipped tons to staff, So much so, I have had two returned with refusals to take em. YMMV]).

Edit: GPR Coz seems to be getting a ton of positive and short reviews all the sudden after I submitted this. I checked consistency of prior reviews and did not see the same pattern. Something tells me positive reviews are fake and paid for. Be Warned - this resorts GM is shady as heck. These reviews are absolutely inconsistent with the conversations I have had with every guest. Also interesting that many of these reviews make note of specific names of people, places and only have 1-2 reviews. And few of them have only reviewed GPR properties. Hm… I guess I could be wrong..

I don’t know how this is a 4star resort. I have been to 2-3 star establishments with significantly better accommodations and service. GPR Cancún is a believable 4 star but Cozumel is no better than 3 with no issues. With issues, what a wash. My daughter and I ate most meals and spent most of our time outside of the resort for the 8days she was here. I ended up spending $1000s outside the resort. (All experiences trumped the resort)

Staff made a big deal out of my daughter being underage when she was given an adult band by front desk. They stopped us as we walked through lobby and made a scene about swapping her bracelet and signing documents for doing so. Staff is obviously watching for bands like hawks. This matters because even though staff made a big deal about her age, it did not stop adult men employees staring at her and making her uncomfortable. She may not have realized herself but by the end of the week, she was walking through the tropical resort in a oversized tshirt and pajama pants. Due to this, I feared complaining about our issues until my daughter was no longer on property and waited until the night before she left to send a survey in. I highly suggest keeping your daughters and wives away.

The general manager, alan verduzco, responded quickly by ignoring my requests to speak to someone in parent GPR about the consistency of their properties (GPR Cancún is amazing and why we gave Cozumel a chance). This behavior continues. he accosted me in the parking lot admitting to not wanting me to talk to his boss and to go through him instead.

Seems like he’s trying to bury inappropriate behavior and bad service by him and his staff through hush hush means. He assured me that the hotel had taken care of all our issues. Narrator: They did not.

Diego, the front desk manager, and most of the other front desk personnel that I spoke with had the patience of saints while dealing with me and my complaints. They are making lemonade from limes, don’t ask me how. Edgar’s personality is contagious and I’ve never seen someone get so many adults moving together as a team and having fun. Edgar’s team, fun(?), is very similar in their ability to coerce people into fun. Luis, OKEY-DOKEY, was hands down the best bartender for drinks and experience - his personality was also contagious and joyful. There are a few others I am missing - Lo siento. These individuals exhibited the enthusiasm and customer service...

Check in process : was quick and smooth. No delays (just happened that there was no one waiting to be checked in when we arrived). Rooms : we had opted for an ocean view room and paid a little extra, your view is 75% ocean and 25% cruise ships (the hotel is exactly by the Port). The room was spacious and clean, small balcony that made the room feel a little bigger. They will clean your room daily if you’d like or whenever you want. (Don’t forget to leave a little tip of 50-100 pesos each time). Amenities: there are 4 pools, one of which is an adult only infinity pool facing the ocean (and the cruise ships as seen on the picture) and another being a kids pool/splash pad. There are bars across the resort and each pool to keep you quenched. A couple of things to point out, first there are 0 extra activities to do. No bowling, no mini arcade, no escape room, pool table/foosball, rock climbing, like really nothing.. second, the beach is extremely small (about 20-25 meters wide of sand at most), but it’s still nice and does the job. The hotel provides complimentary 1 hour per day snorkelling gear where you can see some cool little fishies. At night they place little vendor booths and display some locally made art (bowls, plates, necklaces, hats etc). They are extremely over priced as if you go to downtown cozumel they are 1/4th of the price. They also tend to have some shows at night of dancing, singing and even a casino night. Staff : the Staff is nice, helpful and has a smile on their face all the time. FOOD :For Breakfast you get eggs, pork, some really badly made pancakes and waffles. Milk cereal cheese and ham. Lunch : 2 options available, buffet and a seafood restaurant. The buffet : the variety is very limited. If you do not eat pork you are kinda screwed, the buffet is VERY pork heavy. Vegetarian options : Pasta with liquid tomato juice and and black beans, that may or may not be made with Lard. Boiled veggies with Butter. I had high hopes at least for the fruits but even that was not good. Watermelon (soggy or tasteless), cantaloup, papaya, pineapple. That’s it. No passion fruit or any other exotic fruits. Dinner was OKAY, 3 restaurants options + the buffet. Mexican, Italian, and the other changes cuisine nightly... they did have a chicken parmigiana that was super delicious, and had a “vegan lasagna” that turns out it had cheese 🤦🏻‍♂️. Desserts are mainly small cakes and about 5-8 different options (tasted mostly the same). There are 2 snack bars across the resort, 1 making burgers and hotdogs and nachos and 1 making ceviche. Excursions: our airline representative showed us a list of options from a submarine tour to explore the fishies, or go visit the Mayan Ruins along with zip lining and swimming in Cenotes. The excursions range from around $60 usd to $180 usd per person. We picked Zipline + rappelling + swimming in Cenotes + visiting Mayan Ruins for $150 USD per person. It was worth every penny! A downside however is you have to get to mainland Playa del Carmen and meet the rest of the group there. It’s $10 usd for the taxi (cheaper if you pay in pesos) to the ferry from the hotel. Then its $15 usd per person each way for the Ferry + the taxi back ($100 usd more for a couple basically). When booking a ferry, they will automatically charge you for first class, so make sure to ask for regular seats (unless you want the first class then do your thing), i just didn’t like how they automatically sell you the most expensive ticket without asking. HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU DO AN EXCURSION AND DONT CHEAP OUT ON THIS ONE AS IT WILL BE THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR TRIP. We visited a couple of restaurants outside the resort and the experience was mostly very pleasant with good food and super nice people (we went to Palmeras and Vegan Barrio, the first was a big restaurant where as Vegan Barrio was run by an amazing Mexican family making absolutely fantastic authentic meals, just 5 minute walk from...

Im glad I read a ton of reviews before we went or I would have been disappointed in this resort, but after reading I knew what to expect going in.||Pros: the resort was very clean. It rained a bit this past week and they were very prompt to get water moved or removed from the walking paths. |It has beautiful views, yes there are lots of cruise ships in port most days, but even thst view was nice.|There were activities if you wanted but they didn't pressure you to join.|Nightly shows, nightly vendors if you wanted to shop.|There wasn't a lack of food. Maybe it depends on what time you get there because I saw previous reviews that complained of empty bins. That was not our experience. |There are 3 pools, 1 of those being adults only. While I didnt indulge in the adults only because 2 of our kids are under 18, they all were nice.|There was beach volleyball area, corn hole, ladder ball set up, ping pong some days.|I had a great massage from the "spa", although I wouldn't call it a spa, basically a tiny area in the back with a curtain.||Cons: this definitely isn't 5 star resort.|As most of the previous reviews stated, the food is hit and miss.|While the buffet was decent most of the time, the restaurants were not great.|The Mexican restaurant was not good.|The Italian restaurant, the appetizers were cold when they served them. The 1st night we tried it, the dinner portions tasted good. The 2nd time we went, it was awful. Also, plan to wait for an hour at least for any food.|Now the Mediterranean restaurant was good, both the appetizers and the dinners. I recommend the beef stroganoff. Not like American stroganoff at all but still tasted great. We didnt make it there a 2nd night like we planned so I dont know if we just got lucky.|If you plan to go to the restaurant, I recommend getting there right at 6 when they open, otherwise you will be waiting forever.|Also, they require the men to be in nice attire and closed toed shoes, so plan ahead when packing. Women can have sandals but still need to be dressier.|The buffet has different theme nights. As an American, I have to admit the Tex Mex night was my favorite. The ribs had some amazing flavor.||Now, I had read previous reviews that they aren't the nicest to Americans and now I can concur. They aren't. Some were very nice around the resort but some definitely were not in the buffet area. They ignore you and come to serve you last. Good luck getting a drink!||The rooms were clean and housekeeping comes by daily as well as the drink cart to stick your fridge with pop or beer if you want.|Our room was decent although the handle on the sink was broken, not a big deal, just would fall out of the hole sometimes if we weren't careful turning it.|The water pressure was great but ours needed a new water head cuz the water sprayed in all different directions. The handle was also broken so it was hard getting the water temp where we needed it.|There were a couple times thst we didnt have hot water and had to wait til later to shower.||They will try to get you to listen to a time share pitch so try to avoid the guys in the cream color shirts! Altho its just a shade off from some of the other staff so its hard telling which is which.||Overall, we had a great time. We had 3 teenagers with us so next time we will find a different resort with more to do for them. I think this one is fine for adults or with littles , but the in between can get a little bored||We wanted to snorkel at the resort because they said they had gear but every time we asked for some they were out and were told to come back in a hour. I highly suggest just bringing your own because I heard from others (that brought thier own) that it is beautiful. |2 of our group did the scuba lessons and really enjoyed it. They do the training part for free and if you are comfortable then they will take you further into the...