John Hand Club Hotel — Hotel in Birmingham

I’ve stayed in some questionable motels before, but nothing prepared me for this nightmare. The John Hand Club markets itself like a quirky boutique hotel — do not be fooled.

The moment I checked in, the front desk staff acted like I was interrupting their day. No greeting, no smile, just a key card slapped on the counter. The decor looks like it was designed by someone who lost a fight with the thrift through dumpster. The hallway carpets smelled like mildew, and my room looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since last century. Stains on the sheets, hair in the shower drain, and a mysterious sticky patch on the nightstand — absolutely disgusting.

When I called to ask for fresh linens, I was told “housekeeping already went home” and offered a single towel as a solution. The bar blasted music until 3 a.m., and when I complained, management told me to “just enjoy the vibe.”

I left a day early and still feel like I need a tetanus shot, a shower, a therapist, and an exorcism. If you value your health, sanity, or bank account, stay far, far away...

stay 2.5 hours on the Fourth of July 2025 . One of the worst experiences of my life — absolutely disgusting..!. We showed up to the building and were greeted by... no one. Just an empty lobby, no signage, no instructions, no idea what to do. We stood around for 20 awkward minutes looking dumb. Finally, some guy emerged — sarcastic, rude, acted like we were bothering him, and He told “If we were just shut our mouths He would help us. “ Even after that, we had a hard time finding the room ourselves. So much for hospitality. The room? A total disaster. It smelled like sour laundry mixed with marijuana, like snoop dog just rented the place an hour before we arrived. The floor had roaches and who-knows-what crawling around, and the bed — I wish I were making this up — had what appeared to be a dried period stain on the sheets. Everything felt unclean and sketchy. We were supposed to have a calm, relaxing stay. Instead, we were kicked out over a noise complaint — and we were knitting . A Park bench is a better place to stay than the...

Pricey but superb boutique hotel located in the private John Hand Club building. The Vulcan Suite (from which the statue of Vulcan is visible, although far away) was appointed with the finest Peacock Alley robe and king bedding. Solid brass fixtures complement the large marble bathroom. Snacks and bottled water in the rooms are complimentary. Hotel guests are now invited to The Welton bar atop the John Hand Building; cocktails were pricey but excellent and the sunset views were spectacular. The hotel includes a complimentary concierge station, with snacks, self-serve light continental breakfast, guest refrigerators, icemaker, etc. Adjoining the concierge area is a small patio where guests can enjoy cigars or take a cellphone call. The doorman was even named Carlton -- yes, really. Parking is a little bit of an effort -- park in the short-term spaces behind the hotel (corner 20th St North and Morris Ave.), unload bags and check in, then move your vehicle to the parking garage across Morris Ave. No additional...