Element Houston Vintage Park — Hotel in Jersey Village

This hotel brings "together an eco-friendly environment with overall wellness…where guest can enjoy free breakfast, an evening reception and free internet access” The rooms were spacious and well-laid out, the beds were also spacious and comfortable, there was enough lighting in the rooms, the free wifi was fast and really responsive, and the free breakfast was pretty good. All this in an eco-friendly atmosphere made the stay all the more relaxing. There are only two negatives I would say about this hotel – and both have to do with the location. The hotel is located in a newly developed area and there are shops and restaurants near the hotel, but they are about a 2-3 minute walking distance --- this is fine during the day but at night there are very few lights. That was my second negative, which was the road to the entrance of the hotel is not lit at all – the hotel is located on a one-way so if you are coming from the opposite way you have to pass the hotel and go down into the undeveloped section to make a u-turn to get to the right side of the street on which the hotel’s entrance is on – and that section of the road has no lights and is completely dark during the night. As I said, those are the only two negatives as the rest of the experience inside the hotel was positive. Once you walk inside the hotel, on the right-hand side is the check-in counter. Beyond the check-in counters was a little pantry to buy snacks and beyond that was the elevators. Across from the check-in was the dining area where the free breakfast is served (the breakfast was decent. There were standard items available that you normally would get as well as some unique items like egg, spinach, and mushroom on a toasted English muffin – but I did expect healthier or organic options and those were limited). As you walk straight, there is a lounge/sitting area or relaxing area where you can also enjoy the free wifi. To the left of this lounge is the business center which has access to two computers and a printer (during my visit, only one computer worked and the printer was not working). Beyond the business center is the meeting room. On the other side of the lounge/sitting area was the fitness center – which was spacious and had a nice array of machines – and a path to the outside which had an outdoor pool as well as an outdoor sitting/bbq area. Check-in was smooth and efficient and I was given my keys as well as a detailed explanation of the hotel and its amenities (which was good since it was my first time staying at the hotel). I took the elevator to my room and when I opened the door, I thoroughly enjoyed the room. I had requested a room with 2 double beds so this is how my room was laid out: As you open the door, on the left were big closets (in an ikea-style design) which also contained a safe. On the right was the bathroom which was very large and had a waterfall-style shower or hand-held shower. The bathroom also had a low-flow toilet, low-flow sink, as well as refillable pumps for the the amenities instead of individual size toiletries (maintaining the environmental aspect throughout the room). As you walked further into the room, on the left was the kitchen which was again ikea-designed and was quite big. There was a very big fridge, a microwave, a sink, a stove, dishes and glasses, and pots and pans. There was also two barstools and a little area to sit and eat at the kitchen. Across from the kitchen was a desk/console combined into one. This separated the bedroom from the main area. The desk/console was a full desk that was extended to include a TV as well as a converter to plug in various devices and shelves below the TV. The beds were quite comfortable and spacious and there were plenty of outlets near the beds and throughout the room. In addition to the two beds, there was also a sofa that was very comfortable and could also turn into a sofa-bed. Overall, it was a GREAT stay in a spacious room with comfortable beds. The wifi was REALLY strong and fast both in the rooms and in the lobby. It was a great stay in a place that is good for you and good for the...

A Symphony of Sadness in Three Acts: My One-Night Stand with the Element Houston Vintage Park Let me preface this operatic tragedy by saying I did not expect the Ritz. But I did, in my innocence, dare to expect cleanliness, functioning furniture, and maybe—just maybe—a single damn fitted sheet. How naive I was. Act I: The Bark Awakens Our journey began with what I can only assume was a German Shepherd-Akita hybrid bark-blasting competition happening in the room 2 doors down (not 3). Imagine trying to relax while two Cujo understudies conduct vocal exercises. When I asked the front desk if they could relocate me to a room not adjacent to the Westminster Dog Show, I was greeted with the warmth of a DMV employee on their last day. A change was made with no questions asked… Act II: Welcome to The Mold Spa We entered our new quarters and was instantly transported—not to a calming hotel oasis, but to the inside of a swamp witch’s armpit. The air was humid and smelled like wet carpet that had been emotionally neglected. The kind of smell that clings to your soul and whispers to your immune system, “I dare you.” The hallway was already stuck at Lukewarm Regret, and the moisture was—where? Who knows. It was everywhere and nowhere, like sadness in a Tennessee Williams play. Act III: The Sofa of Crumbs and Broken Dreams Desperate for something resembling sleep, we attempted to use the pullout sofa. This endeavor was cut short by a visible ecosystem of crumbs, hair (species unconfirmed), and what I pray to the Marriott gods was a melted red hot. I summoned the front desk, requesting sheets for the biohazard foldout. I was handed one flat sheet—as if I were asking to tuck in a corpse for burial and not an actual human child who was looking at me with tears in his eyes and the words, “I want to go home.” Same, kid. There was no fitted sheet. Just the single, sad, folded up pillow, a stiff blanket, and a prison-issue flat sheet tossed to me like a ration in a dystopian hellscape. I half expected a siren to go off and for a man in a jumpsuit to shout, “Back to your cell!” Set Design: Brought to You by Home Depot’s Reject Bin The room’s décor was less “eco-chic” and more “Post-Apocalyptic Dorm Room.” Every piece of furniture had suffered some trauma: chipped wood, legs askew like they’d been on a bender, and paint-splattered floors that gave the room a strong “we hosted an unlicensed art class in here and everyone quit halfway through” vibe. Even the water bottle provided for guests were dirty—dirty, like, actual grime on the inside and I had to fight the urge to take them down to the lobby and ask, “Is this a test?” The Breakfast Buffet: A Masterclass in Disappointment After a night of attempting to sleep while suspicious smells wafted over me like ghosts with gastrointestinal issues, I awoke and wandered to the complimentary breakfast. The spread was minimalistic in the sense that it was barely there. I found a few bruised bananas, a single sad bagel that had seen some things, fake meat?? and—this is not a joke—apple mint jelly. Was this a threat? A cry for help? A creative experiment gone wrong? I was so baffled I took a picture, in case my therapist ever doubts how far I’ve come. Conclusion: A Crime Scene With WiFi To say this stay was unpleasant would be to describe the Titanic as a mildly inconvenient cruise. The Element Houston Vintage Park should consider rebranding as “The Element of Surprise” because I never knew what fresh hell was waiting around each corner. A barking kennel masquerading as a hotel? Check. Damp air and crumbling furniture? Check. Crumb-coated couches and mint jelly-based trauma? Double check.

If you’re into post-industrial despair and moldy mystery smells, by all means, book a stay. But if you value your sanity, cleanliness, or even basic human dignity—maybe try literally anywhere else. Or a tent. Or your car. Or just… stand in the rain and cry. It’ll be more...

I gave the room one star because I actually had no choice but to sleep in the old bed, but for the overall experience...it was a total horror!! I am at a loss for words, and usually I am not!! My wife, son and I decided to stay here for a week while we transitioned to our new house. To my horror and dismay, my new truck was stolen the third night, from being parked right in front the building, and no one saw anything!!! Let me begin with the hotel...the place is a dump!!! Its worn, beaten, used and smells damp, while being masked with cheap air freshener. There are carpet stains everywhere, and it looks worn and stained every five steps in the corridors.... The rooms are the just the same, worn beds, fridge, bath, all look dingy, dented and scratched, pillows as thin as a sheet of paper! The elevator makes a loud thud when going up and down, and the inspection sticker was torn, and one can only assume its ok and safe and has been inspected! I ensured I got a parking spot in the front of the hotel, and the next thing in the morning, my truck is gone! I was sure it was stolen, as in its spot, was another maroon SUV belonging to a hotel grounds keeper, which he said he came in @ around 8 am, so my truck was stolen between 830pm Sunday night when I parked it and 8 am when the employee arrived. Spoke to the manager, who was the most uncouth, obnoxious, arrogant, and unprofessional person in that capacity, I have ever dealt with. He even went on to ask if I didn't lend my truck out, or forgot where I parked it, or asked if I paid the payments as it may have been repossessed! I was in total dismay that he could respond like this after I expressed what had happened. Even when the Sheriffs came to take a statement, and file the police report, he nor the front desk staff, never came back and asked if we needed anything...but lo and behold, while talking to the officer, a giant roach came running across the floor in the lobby, which may have been a true representation of management! The front desk guy, points to a sign that says they are not liable, but you have to look for the sign as it is hidden on a back side wall behind the check in counter and does not express that of the Mariott brand, but the franchise holder. Shame shame shame on you Mariott!!! It's like they want you to come and park, but don't tell you there is the possibility of high theft of cars in the area, until you are a victim, and then they point out ...here is our sign!! I feel like it's bait and switch!! Don't go here, run, run as fast as you can from this place.... here does NOT represent the image and keeping of the Mariott brand, but that of a lousy, arrogant, ignorant, uneducated, facetious, manager, with zero people or hospitality skills or training!! To add insult to injury, the police said the place was a hot spot for car break ins and thefts, and each time they come to file a report, for a guest, that has had their car stolen or damaged, they ask the manager for camera footage...and the hotel chooses not to install any cameras. Why in god's name would you not want to at least install cameras that can assist the police in their investigation and duty, and as part of the hotel keeping the place safe for the guests and their property......I think maybe it's something bigger beyond me going on perhaps!!! I will be taking this to all lengths until I get my...