Seton Hotel — Hotel in New York

As all my fans know, I always start my reviews with some positives. Unlike my other reviews, however, I have decided that this will be an uncharacteristically helpful one. I can say that the staff at this hotel were very nice and helpful, and that the everything was clean.

Now put your gloves on, as it's time to get into the weeds. First off, you have to realize that you're going to be sharing a bathroom with about 10 other rooms on your floor, which means as many as 20 people. After several trips down the hall only to encounter a locked door, I learned that this requires high-level logistical training. Having never worked at UPS or FedEx to develop such an expertise, I found myself at a distinct disadvantage. On the plus side, I did get to train my bladder to hold 133% of it's typical maximum volume, which I've been meaning to do for a while but haven't gotten around to.

Moving onto the walls...if you can call them that. It seemed to me that they are more aptly described as drapes of Saran wrap that someone happened to cover with paint. I'm not sure that even does them justice, but I can't think of another material that would not just allow sound to freely pass through to the next room, but actually amplify it twelve fold on the way through. The Seton Hotel should actually be lauded for this impressive feat of engineering, by which they created a system where it would be more effective to have a conversation through a wall, rather than in the same room with someone.

I did, however, learn some very interesting things about my Australian neighbors. Apparently, their daughter Susie, who I surmised was in 11th or 12th grade, has been leaving home quite a bit to hang out with her friends recently, sometimes not returning until well after midnight. When her concerned parents then looked through her phone, they found several pictures of men's genitalia. They were now talking with their dear friend, Ellen, discussing if the punishment they dolled out was appropriate. But I digress....

The Australian couple left when this conversation ended at around 9:30 PM, and I decided it was time for bed given that I had to be up early the next morning. Much to my chagrin, they left their TV on a low volume when they departed. While it was probably nothing more than background noise in their room, by the principles of sound-wave dynamics we discussed above, it was blasting at full volume in my room. As I lay there with a pillow over my head, I could still hear Ryan Seacrest whispering in my ear about what it takes to become the next American Idol.

But then something amazing happened. At around 12:30 AM, my neighbors returned and turned off the TV. After a 12 year hiatus of churchgoing, I decided maybe there was a God, and made a resolution that I would change my ways that coming Sunday. That was, until about 12:57 AM, when I heard the birth of Hades taking place just inches from my head. I froze in terror and pulled the covers tightly to my chest as I tried to figure out what this awful, deep, rumbling noise was that shook my very soul was. Was it a Tonka truck red-lining as it tried to ascend the near vertical hill of a quarry just outside my room? I couldn't be sure. But then I remembered that the laws of physics didn't apply here, and that it was simply the Australian man snoring next door. For the first time in my life, I was a broken man. Nothing I did could muffle the 1000 dB sound, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I laid in bed, waiting for either sleep to overtake me or my own death- I truly had no preference. My saga ended sometime between 3:00 and 4:00 AM when I finally drifted off to sleep.

I think my experience justifies a 2 start rating, which coincidentally happens to be 1 star for each nanometer thick that the walls are.

Oh, and by the way, the rooms are pretty small (see pictures). Basically just enough room for a double bed and a miniature sink. That metal bar sticking off the wall with my suit hanging from it is the closet. They serve coffee from 6:00...

I am SO glad I ignored any of the negative reviews, as the positive ones outweighed them. Also, NO signs of insects on the bed, mattress or pillows as I am particular to take notice and inspect. I took a chance because the price and location were unbeatable. This place is 2 blocks from Grand Central which will get you wherever you need, and it is 2 blocks from affordable food/coffee, 24/7. I stayed in a Premium Queen room with a private bath and it was ample with a closet, even! And it had rarities for this day and age such as a phone, TV and alarm clock. There were USB hubs for charging, and supplied toiletries although I did not use them...they were there! They also have coffee until 11am, which they are serious about! Get your coffee before it is gone! I was thankful for it, though! But there is no cream, just milk. There is an elevator, which is nice. The staff was so on point and friendly. I would absolutely stay here again! I also did not have to wait too long for the elevator at any time. They also brought up (3x) things I called about to the front desk during my stay and the items came up within less than 5 minutes. I travel A LOT! So please trust when I say this is a value place! I even think a room without a private bath would be fine as they have plenty of well stocked, and available baths available the whole time I was there. Every time I walked down the halls, I noticed them clean and that at least one was available at all times. This...

I just stayed in the penthouse for my wedding, March 23rd through the 26th. The staff here was so accommodating! I had plenty or friends and family stay here as well. I did so much research to find this place. The room I had was the perfect amount of space to get ready for my Central Park wedding. To give you an idea, I had 8 bridal party members, 3 parents, a makeup artist, 2 photographers, and a flower girl all in there for 2 hours while I was getting ready.

(spoilers) The staff even decorated the room for our wedding night.

Its a wonderful location for out of town-ers. Its so close to grand Central Station its easy to commute to via subway or cab. I also picked it for my friends on a budget, in addition to the normal style rooms, they also have lower pried rooms that share communal bathrooms. The manager, was happy to help us, and our family at any time.

The downstairs lounge area is also one of my favorite spots, its in a separate area away from the front desk so its a great space to sit and visit with friends. Because my family was staying in so many rooms I got the chance to see 3 different style rooms. Even the smallest for the 3 felt bigger because of the high ceilings, don't get me wrong its NYC, the rooms are small, but these are really nice and updated.

Thank you so much to the staff at The Seton, My wedding couldn't have been more perfect, and you all were a big...