Parco della Rocca di Cefalù — Local services in Cefalù

“A Walk I’ll Never Forget – Beware of Wizards, Tiles, and No Water”

After a hefty steak, five pints, and a few cold shots of limoncello, I decided to take a casual stroll in the 40°C Sicilian heat to “walk it off.” Floating on meat sweats and beer foam, I met what I believed was a wise old Sicilian wizard. He sold me a sanded-down bathroom tile with a lemon and the word Sicily drawn on in Sharpie. A metal hook fell off when he wrapped it up.

He explained — since I’d paid €5 for this masterpiece — I now had access to a secret walk up to a rock with a castle, great food, and cold beer. Naturally, I believed him.

What followed was the most intense, surreal, dehydrated uphill odyssey of my life.

The walk started okay: a bar at the bottom and a fresh beer to start. a few arches, nice sights, charming alleyways. Then the real climb began. Around stages 4 and 5, I saw some lads dancing up in flip flops like it was nothing. Fueled by beer and historic battle stories I half remembered (something about locals in armour storming this place), I powered on.

By stage 6, my face was crimson, I was drenched, and kids were asking their parents if I was alright. I had no water. Just a headache, a buzz hanging by a thread, and the ghost of my British pride.

I spotted a young Sicilian woman ahead, also climbing. I told myself if I could keep pace with her, I’d make it. Within 50 metres, she was gone. I had a 150 meter clime left. I heard only crickets and my heartbeat. No shade. My skin had stopped trying to tan. It had given up. Just the feeling of burnt.

Stage 8 — the final one. I sprinted the last jagged stretch like a sweaty, sunburnt Pepé Le Pew, passing terrified tourists and possibly traumatizing that poor girl ahead. I looked like a peporami advert. An Australian offered me warm water. I declined like a gentleman — the bar at the top was surely near.

Except... it wasn’t. I suspect the wizard had an alternative future for me.

I wandered the castle, sweating, head pounding, praying for the wizard’s promised bar. I found instead: a group of American church-goers playing violins. My buzz was gone. My sanity slipping. I began taking photos as a survival guide for future drunken Brits. I spoke with my uncle about how many tiles I could fit up a wizards nose.

On the descent — now fully melting, shivering, with tunnel vision, and no hope — I considered sucking a cactus. an Italian family asked if i was ok. I told an Italian family I was fine, “I’m English.” They nodded in understanding, like that explained everything.

As the time passed I considered a fomy bare grills lemonade, among other things.

Then — a miracle.

A man walked by with an ice-cold lemon drink. I asked where he got it. “At the bottom, past two trees.” I’d made it. I bolted. I begged the man behind the counter for “ice lemon, and two water... please... grazie!” He saw my cracked lips, sunburnt eye sockets, and the pain of a man who had stared death in the sweaty face.

One lemon ice, one bottle of freezing water, and a full brain-freeze later, I collapsed into a chair, reborn.

I never saw the wizard — or my uncle — again. My uncle had been dead 20 years.

To the girl I possibly scared half to death: I’m sorry. I wasn’t chasing you. I was chasing...

I'm a bit conflicted after my visit...a very interesting place, with wonderful views of the city and wider area, well worth it for that reason. But a bizarre, unpleasant customer experience. First, we came there around 7 PM to avoid the scorching heat, but we learned you can only enter untill 5 PM, for no clear reason. So get there early, be prepared for the heat and bring water. Then, we came the next day around 10. It turns out they only accept cash, and only 5 and 10-euro banknotes. To pay in an automated ticket machine, that is actually operated by a lady who writes down your ticket number in a notebook. I don't blame the nice staff for these inconveniences, but it was annoying and, frankly, quite absurd. We went back to get the cash, arrived at the entrance for the third time, got in finally, and saw the beautiful views - worth it, after all, but there are many 'opportunities for...

Just 5 euros to walk up the massive rock overlooking cefalu! Use Google maps to find the entrance as it's not totally obvious - we did see one sign! There was a man on the gate to help you with the payment machine. He was very nice and helpful. There's a little shop at the start where you can hire sticks or walking sandals and buy drinks /souvenirs. It's a great achievement to get to the top. And fabulous views. We're not very good at getting going early so we ended up starting the walk at about 11. It was soooo hot and really hard work. A bit of rock scrabbling but nothing awful. Mostly paths but loose rocks too. It's a long climb. Try to go earlier! Take water and stop frequently in the shade. We did it with our teens who enjoyed it. Overall about 3 hours to get up, take lots of photos at the top and walk down again. If recommend it if you want...