The SlaughterHouse — Local services in Tucson

So there’s a few things in life that i’m quite disappointed I haven’t gotten around to yet: Buying a house, getting rid of debt and going to a Slipknot concert. Well and starting a cult where I get a haram of hot babes worshipping me but that’s a work in progress. I’ve grown up listening to Slipknot and became so enthralled with their aesthetic that clowns and scary masks and jumpsuits began to make me actually feel joyous again. Ronald McDonald never did that. He just gave me diabetes. And all other clowns were just annoying and uninspiring. Bozo, Krusty, John Wayne Gacey. But when I saw and heard Clown and Corey and all the other masked maniacs do their heavy riffs and rage-filled antics surrounded by dark chaos, it just made me feel whole again. Since it will probably be awhile before I catch them, I think I may have stumbled on the next best thing only because I was lucky enough to do so during the Halloween season. Slaughterhouse Tucson.

Now I haven’t been to a haunted house themed paid event since I was a teenager and have always wanted to go but just really never jumped at the opportunity. Maybe some internal fear that I would poop myself immediately and get kicked out or maybe because I would find out that I’m actually fearless and sociopathic and that would give me too much hubris and that would lead me to becoming a politician or something. Either way, I did see some of the ads and have heard people talk about this place in particular so I went to the website and did a little reconnaissance before investing myself in the experience.

“Tucson’s #1 rated haunted house is one giant horrifying walkthrough featuring different themes throughout including ghouls, voodoo, butchers, chainsaws (of course🪚), clowns, zombies and more.” That’s when this all hit me. This looks just like a Slipknot concert and/or music video. You have a bunch of weirdos acting crazy in dark halls with chainsaws, bats and jumpsuits with blacklights and no lights and flame lights. People are yelling and adrenaline is high. Holy crap. I can just wear my blue-tooth earbuds and playlist shuffle at least the albums: Self Titled, Gray Chapter, Iowa, All Hope Is Gone and Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses) which has the maggot album cover that was already scarier than this place’s promo images.

I booked online and when I arrived, I was lumped into a group of people, mostly teenagers with brocolli haircuts, at least one eccentric looking married couple, probably swingers looking for a new thrill since their dopamine is fried and a couple groups of alt-scene goth types. Also a fat cowboy loner with an Alan Jackson t-shirt which was scary in it’s own way. I already had my earbuds in & started with “Wait And Bleed” to get myself hyped. The waiting area had axe throwing & food trucks and prime people watching. I was just subtle solo headbanging and waiting for my Slipknot experience.

Our group finally started going in I was blaring “the blister exists” and already headbanging through hallways with strobe lights and fog machines going off; there were disfigured and bloody looking figures popping out and scaring everyone around me but I was just laughing and throwing up the horns to all of them. We turned more dark corners and there was this giant dude with a bloody butchers apron and a pig mask walking slowly at the group with a cleaver and one of the goth girls started crying and the Alan Jackson guy ran back where we came from but I was already really feeling “pulse of the maggots” and headbanged at him while walking by....

My mom and I went here for an outing and we both really enjoyed it :"). The staff at the facility were so kind, and you could tell that they really loved doing their jobs. The owner was very caring and helpful and takes into consideration the opinions of his customers. The atmosphere was amazing, the food was pretty decently priced and pretty good quality. I also loved how they had recycle bins for waste. The attractions were very well thought out in the case of lighting, and themes. The props were really fun to look at and were very nicely picked according to the attraction you were in. The actors were very passionate and fun to interact with. The attractions that I went on were the boiler room which was very nicely set up as always and the characters were very energetic. Secondly I went on the voodoo bayou which was a very unique theme and is better for people who enjoy atmosphere rather than a real scare I feel as though the slaughterhouse has something for everyone. The attraction "city meats" was an amazing atmosphere as always, and was more interactive having the characters being able to touch you can make it an even more eerie experience for others. The last and most amazing attraction that I went on and highly recommend was the "Zombie apocalypse" the instructor looked and felt like he was straight out of a video game and his voice matched his character perfectly. The other staff who show you how to use your guns were really helpful and kind and the over all idea of the attraction was out of this world. As soon as you start playing your adrenaline is rushing and you forget that it is just an attraction and you really get immersed into the game, really getting the feel of what its like to be in a apocolyptic scenery. The turns and tight corners really keep your guard up and it was pretty long which was a good thing. When you are finished you get such a rush of relief and happiness and coming back to a normal atmosphere afterwards really trips you out. Overall the slaughterhouse was such an amazing experience that is pretty well priced for the quality of experience that you are getting. I will definitely return and probably make this a halloween...

If you’re looking for a haunted house that respects its visitors and delivers genuine scares, look elsewhere. "The Slaughterhouse" is not just a haunted house; it’s a place that makes you feel small, unwelcome, and bullied. The actor’s comments were not clever or part of the show—they were personal and hurtful. I can handle a good scare, but this was something else entirely. I left feeling humiliated and upset, questioning why anyone would think it was acceptable to treat guests like this. Especially on my birthday. I was screaming, as one does at the scares, and those screams quickly turned to almost tears when this one clown actor wouldn’t let me walk past and was repeatedly following me around saying “She thinks she’s so funny” and accusing me of screaming too loud. She got all the other actors in the area to do the same, shaming me and making me feel like a horrible person for simply screaming. It got to the point I told the clown girl that I was formally apologetic of my screams (of course I wasn’t), and she replied rudely and mockingly, saying I needed to apologize to every other actor for “bursting their eardrums”. I shouldn’t feel bad for being scared and screaming, but most importantly the actors shouldn’t make a girl leave their haunted house feeling like they just got bullied and ganged up on by a bunch of people in clown outfits. Save your money, and...