Cheetahs Gentlemen’s Club Sydney | Hotel Lewisham — Restaurant in Sydney

So, okay, listen, I gotta talk about this because this place is… something else. Barry and I came here—yeah, Barry, the one who rolls around on that mobility scooter, but let me tell you, don’t let the scooter fool you. This guy sees things. Anyway, we were here for the girls—especially Piper and Tori. Now, I don’t know if anyone’s noticed this, but there’s something off about them. Like, I don’t think they’re from around here. They’re so unbelievably good-looking, I was really starting to wonder if there’s some sort of government project involved. Like, how are they even real? It’s almost like they had to be genetically engineered to look that perfect. It’s almost suspicious.

And then there’s Barry, right? He starts yelling, and I thought he was losing it, but then I realized—no, he knew what was going on. He’s shouting, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!" and I was just like—wait, what does that even mean? But you know what? Maybe he’s onto something. Barry has this weird sixth sense. He’s been through a lot, but somehow, he always manages to come out on top. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t trust him completely—no one can be trusted fully—but I have to admit, there’s something about him that doesn’t add up in the worst way… but also in the best way? Yeah, it’s complicated.

Now, I’ve gotta talk about Richard. Where was he? Not here, that’s for sure. He’s always lurking somewhere, but tonight? Nothing. I thought I saw him in the corner, smoking a Double Happiness, an ALDI bag beside him, laughing at his own jokes. He’s probably watching from a distance, or maybe it was just a trick of the light. It’s hard to say. But knowing Richard, I wouldn’t put it past him to be hiding somewhere, watching us, waiting for the perfect moment to pop up and talk about Red Rooster being superior to KFC. It’s a weird thing for him to obsess over, and no one should be that obsessed with fast food. But that’s Richard, always pushing some bizarre agenda.

So, yeah, Cheetahs Club. I’m giving it 5 stars because—let’s face it—I don’t trust anyone, but I can’t deny it was an interesting experience. It feels like there’s more going on here than they’re letting on, but maybe that’s just me. I’m always looking for the angles, you know? Something’s off, something’s not quite right, but maybe that’s just how they want it. Anyway, if you go, just keep your eyes open. I’ll probably be back, but don’t expect me to make it...

Great pub and club with excellent staff and service!

Drinks: Prices are about what you expect from Sydney these days with a decent selection on tap as well as a few behind the bar.

Food: is typical pub food, keeping the menu relatively simple rather than a freezer full of food for a 10-page menu, with a few ‘specialty’ or different items to change things up and prices are standard for what you expect these days. I’m slowly working my way through the menu but so far, the Chicken Parm is solid (I know, you’d think it’s hard to screw up, but believe me I’ve seen some people make a mess out of it), good crumb with the standard chips and salad, and the Beef Brisket burger is also a good choice (personally, with a messy style burger like this I prefer a heavier and more typical/standard ‘bread roll’ than a lighter burger bun but that’s me.

Atmosphere: Given the layout and nature of the place, you get both a chilled standard bar atmosphere around the front, with pool & a pool comp, trivia and multiple poker tournaments each week, and then the club room has what you would expect with huge stage, multiple VIP booths and a great bar style seating area right up against the stage.

Staff: Always friendly and helpful whenever I've been in, making sure everyone is enjoying themselves and looking after all the patrons. Even the bouncers who look scary (but that's half their job isn't it?) and have had to deal with the eventual “might be time to head home”, I've never had or seen an issue that wasn’t handled politely and professionally by them and...

Hey fellow stripper enthusiasts. I've been going to Lewisham hotel ( the pub ) since it first opened and I love the $5 burger and chips on Mondays and Tuesdays as the burger is sooo tasty and big. Better than a Big Mac. Lol. I love the pool even though it was better when it was free. I tried out Karaoke one Tuesday night too and it was so much fun. I sang Bon Jovi's "Livin on a prayer" and Fallout Boys "Beat it". Everyone was so welcoming. I've been going to Cheetahs ( the strip club ) since the very first night it opened and I love it! The stage and club looks very upper class and stylish and I love how the strippers get completely naked on stage. Way better than going to the movies. Lol. I like how it's the same staff as the Petersham Inn so they all know me already. Lol. I really like the waitresses /strippers Athena and Tayla. They're babes and are great strippers. I'll...