A&W Canada — Restaurant in West Vancouver

The Mozza Burger exhibits some superficial features of a hamburger, but it lacks the cohesion, substance, and structural integrity necessary for a positive diagnosis. I regret to report that, based on these findings, my meal was a Mozza Burger in Crisis, but never A Hamburger.

A hamburger does not require half a head of unshredded iceberg lettuce, yet my Mozza Burger arrived burdened with a thick, unmanageable wad of watery greens—more suited to a sad, neglected side salad than a structurally sound sandwich. The bun, frail and uninspired, offered no meaningful support. The beef patty, thin and lifeless, seemed to be experiencing Flavor Dissociation, completely overshadowed by the overwhelming presence of bread and misplaced vegetation. The mozzarella, allegedly the star ingredient, contributed nothing of substance, possibly suffering from Existential Cheese Syndrome.

In conclusion, if this burger were listed in the DSM-5, it would be under Hamburger Identity Disorder, presenting with classic symptoms of burger mimicry but failing to meet the diagnostic criteria for an actual, functional hamburger.

Diagnosis: Beverage Temperature Dysregulation Disorder (BTDD)

Criterion A: The soda presents with an inappropriate and inconsistent temperature, failing to align with expected refreshment standards.

Criterion B: The absence of ice, once contextually appropriate in the presence of a frosty mug, now manifests as a maladaptive trait when paired with a disposable paper cup, leading to a diminished drinking experience.

Criterion C: The carbonation, while technically present, fails to compensate for the drink’s overall failure to provide sensory satisfaction, contributing to anhedonic beverage consumption.

Specifiers: Room-Temperature Variant, with possible comorbidity of Syrup-to-Soda Ratio Imbalance Disorder (tentative).

Treatment: Immediate administration of external ice therapy, or in severe cases, complete replacement with a properly chilled beverage.

Even in cases of Mozza Burger in Crisis and Beverage Temperature Dysregulation Disorder, there can be mitigating factors. The fries, at least, were fresh—hot from the fryer and structurally sound. However, they presented with a textbook case of Seasoning Deficiency Disorder (SDD), completely lacking salt. This absence rendered them bland, joyless, and texturally akin to eating lightly oiled packing material.

The staff, while not particularly enthusiastic, were pleasant enough, exhibiting no signs of Customer Interaction Hostility Spectrum Disorder. However, the presence of an upcharge for mayonnaise—an essential, stabilizing condiment in many fast-food treatment plans—further complicated the prognosis. Condiment Access Restriction Disorder (CARD) disproportionately affects those seeking to enhance the palatability of an otherwise underwhelming meal. In this case, a 25¢ barrier to an otherwise simple intervention feels both arbitrary and cruel, reinforcing the broader systemic issues present in this...

They were rude to me for no reason, I work in the mall doing a customer service job too so I know customer service especially fast food isn’t always easy to work in. But this was just unpleasant.

I approached the till after not having eaten a proper meal all day since I had been at work, I just finished my shift and this rude grey haired lady with glasses just pointed at another till, she didn’t acknowledge me or even say a single word. She just pointed. Another employee ended up being the one to take my order, I politely asked for no sauce on my food and she was like “ugh… okay!” as if she was judging and acting like my request for no sauce was such a problem for her. They made my food very slowly even though no one was ahead of me in line, they all seem to be miserable and that’s not ok because I work customer service too and at my job, that would never be allowed.

How dare you judge someone’s food choices when they are nothing but nice to you? Also learn to greet you customer and smile once in a while, horrible attitude that makes for a ruined appetite :( I’m sorry but these employees especially the grey haired lady...

I visited the A&W at Park Royal food court and was really disappointed with the hygiene. None of the staff were wearing gloves, and I saw them touching all the food and food items directly with their bare hands. It was honestly disgusting and made me feel nauseated.

What's even worse is that other nearby food court vendors were all wearing gloves, so there's no excuse. This is a serious health and safety issue and shows a lack of basic food handling standards.

I expected much better from A&W. I won't be coming back unless this...