Noema — Restaurant in Municipality of Mykonos

After reading all the mixed reviews I decided to give Noema a try and while I feel glad to have tried it I will definitely not be returning.

The instant feel is snobby and pretentious, the hostesses are stunning and dressed incredibly and actually were friendly to us but I could still sense that this was not likely the case for most people especially if you don’t fit the profile they want or are not overtly friendly to them which we were.

The biggest and main problem arose immediately in that we were seated at a terrible table, it was right next to the entrance and the bar and on a high table so not comfortable at all and you could feel the eyes of the people at the bar staring through your skull trying to make you eat faster so they may get a table. These tables they have right next to the bar are awful and to be honest should just be removed and left to the already very busy bar area. This would solve so many problems of people complaining about having awful tables. So is the space stunning? I don’t know as to me it wasn’t with my table, how different would I have felt with a better table I’m not sure but not worth the risk at this price point of having table selection ruin your evening.

I have to say we were very lucky and had incredibly friendly and lovely waiters so I would like to thank them as this was definitely not the case for all as I could see others were incredibly rude and arrogant even just asking one of them where the bathroom was they looked at me as if I had just murdered his family and gestured with disgust in the vague direction.

Now for the second big issue is the price, it’s not expensive it’s ludicrously extortionate! No prices online so I googled others pictures of the menu and I don’t know if they were old but the prices I was viewing in reality were so much more, an example is a grilled lobster on the menu I saw online was €120 but on my menu was €195, I can’t say for sure when that photo was uploaded but I thought it was just earlier in the summer but either way no inflation is justifying that. Another example of the stupid prices is that a 400g grass fed steak was €120, that’s just grass fed not wagyu or even Galician, if you equate that out to a per kilo price that’s €300 a kilo for a normal grass fed steak! Thats wagyu prices nearly.

With the awful table we deliberately ordered as cheaply as we could as no way it was worth departing with that amount of money and we had seen other say the portions are huge which they were. So we ordered the red snapper carpaccio which was really good, the meatballs which were quite good but at the end of the day are only meatballs and then the rack of pork which I had to say was fantastic so no complaints on quality of food but nor should there be at these prices.

The wine list is a joke as well with the cheapest bottle being €100 and the average being well into the hundreds of euros per bottle.

To put this into context during my holiday I also ate at beefbar, Pére Ubu, Tuya and Noa. All of these were much much better and much much cheaper whilst Beefbar and Pere Ubu also feel much higher end and higher quality not to mention much more beautiful locations and settings.

The music is stupidly loud but I don’t know if that was because we were literally right next to the DJ, I could have hand fed him some of my meal without even leaning forward we were so close. The music also got progressively louder and louder as the evening went on and I can’t help but feel this is a tactic to make you want to leave quicker as clearly their aim is to get you in and out as quickly as possible.

The positives? I managed to dine here without spending more than €300 which I think I deserve an award for and the food is actually very tasty.

Don’t go, unless your only aim is enjoy being rinsed so you can feel superior for a precise 90 minutes, and not one minute more, that you can afford to be ripped off and feel...

Where do I start? My fiancé and I were really looking forward to visiting the new hot spot Greek gourmet restaurant in Mykonos, and we organised for our hotel to reserve our table 2 months in advance. The table was booked for 2 people at 9pm. We arrived at 9.15ish due to Friday night Mykonos town traffic (make sure you factor this in) We were leisurely shown our table (no rush on the restaurant’s part) and when seated, they informed us that we would have our table until 10.30pm. At no point in the booking process did the reservation indicate a table for 1.30hrs. Had we known- we wouldn’t have booked. We regularly dine out and know full well that to enjoy a cocktail, starters, main and bottle of wine (and of course a conversation!) within this period is impossible. We laughed when the waiter informed us that he could call the sommelier if we wanted a wine recommendation. It seems the restaurant was trying to achieve 2 conflicting aims : 1) to achieve a sophisticated, chilled restaurant vibe with exceptional food an extensive wine and cocktail list, live DJ and band, whilst also achieving 2) As high a table cover turnover rate as possible.

From the moment we sat down we felt incredibly rushed, yet paradoxically- the waiters gave extended explanations of each dish on the menu/ how the menu worked/ how it was laid out etc- despite having very limited time. We hadn’t even finished our starters before a waitress tried to change our plates for the main. She literally took cutlery of us whilst we were chewing & we weren’t even half way through our bottle of wine before being told we were already over our 1.30hrs. We asked to be moved to the bar Where we could finish our drinks (finishing the meal was out of the question). However we were informed that the bar was full. Instead - we could enjoy the rest of our wine in the ‘secret patio’- which is essentially- A glorified waiting room. No bar, no DJ, no tables . Just A candlelit courtyard. In the end we abandoned our bottle of wine and left, feeling slightly ill from eating so quickly. €300 we’ll spent…

In short, it ruined our night. And what a shame given that this place is actually stunning, with a great ambience, delicious food and cocktails and lovely waiting staff. Management’s desire to be greedy has over ridden their desire to create a memorable dining experience.

Avoid like the plague, you’ll feel ripped off and rushed and honestly it’s far from romantic as a result. Perhaps you would be treated better if you were a group spendin...

We went on high season, so we paid 4500€ upfront to make the reservation for 16 people in the courtyard, we chose from a fixed menu what we were going to it upon arrival. When we arrived the table there were only 6 chairs( but the reservation was originally for 16), we were told that they could give us another table outside to be served fast since the kitchen was about to close! We hurried and sat out side to be unattended for 45 mins before the kitchen manager showed up to be honest and say they had close the kitchen but because they messed up With our table they were bringing the food in another 15 mins’ The food finally arrived, some cold, some good, some over cooked, and we sent the youngsters ahead to the originally reserved table because they were going to hold it for our party!! When part of our group showed up to our “held” table, they already had given it away! So the person who had paid in advance to get the reservation was extremely upset with the betrayal and ordered to get it FIXED as told earlier by the management in less than 5 minutes, otherwise we were going to handle it legally!!! They dismissed our whole table full of people, and told us they couldn’t keep it empty for too long(while they had us waiting outside for dinner that took longer than 1 hour when the reservation was made and accepted! On top of that the waiters expected a big tip after such bad service and conflict, and on top of the 4500€ we had already paid they were trying to swipe the cards instead of 1700€, for 17,000 € yes!!!! Seventeen thousand, playing like we weren’t reading the check and wanted us to sign. We had to correct them more than twice and say WE ARE NOT SIGNING A CHECK for 17,000€ and they even try one more time to see if we fell for the trick of the (they don’t check how many ceros there is )!!! Not with us!! They were supposed to have a famous DJ and his band of musicians and they never showed up, so obviously we weren’t the only people upset on the premises and wanting to get in all our money back after such TERRIBLE experience! We were in Mykonos before and that week we never had a problem, except with the place NOEMA I would NEVER go there again and advice everyone who is used to good food , service, and what you pay , at least the decency of not be so obvious and try many times to be scammed right in our...