Restaurante Balalaika — Restaurant in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria

A visit to the Balalaika restaurant turned out to be a total disappointment.

Despite the fact that the restaurant is supposed to be open until 11:00 PM, we were told at 9:40 PM that the kitchen would stop taking orders in five minutes.

The interior is stuck in a total 1980s style, with not even a hint of Russian culture. The dining hall was suspiciously empty for a Saturday evening, but my Slavic friends and I decided to give this dive a chance (I simply cannot bring myself to call it a “restaurant”).

The service left much to be desired — we felt like unwelcome guests from the moment we stepped in.

We ordered traditional Slavic dishes: borscht, pelmeni, and blini with cream and honey.

The borscht turned out to be the worst interpretation of Russian cuisine I’ve ever encountered. It had an odd taste of cloves, completely inappropriate for this dish. The broth was overly acidic, lacking essential ingredients like potatoes, cabbage, and pork fat, which only made the flavor worse. The presentation also deviated from the classic — borscht is typically served with garlic pampushki or slices of dark bread with lard. Here, there was nothing of the sort. A watery broth with tough little bits of meat buried any chance this dish had at a positive review.

The pelmeni were no better. The dough was overcooked, the meat was tough and overseasoned with pepper. The sour cream served with it was crusty on top and had an off taste and smell, suggesting poor storage practices in the kitchen, leading to spoiled and degraded ingredients.

Blini — one of the simplest and most beloved dishes in Slavic cuisine — should be nearly impossible to ruin. Yet somehow, they managed it! The blini were old, dry, and carried odd, unpleasant odors. Normally, blini are made fresh to order, but here it seemed they had been sitting around for days, turning them into inedible slabs of rubbery dough. The cream served with them tasted like a cheap store-bought product — acceptable for a street food shack, but absolutely not for a restaurant charging such high prices.

In the end, you’re left with nothing but bitter disappointment and a sense of having been conned.

A dirty restroom, cockroaches, and the stench of rotting food wafting from the kitchen will leave you with an unforgettable experience you’ll be eager to share — though only as a warning to others. I’ll be recommending this place exclusively to people I dislike!

To top it off, the final bill included a baffling 6.5% tax added to the total, which wasn’t mentioned anywhere on the menu.

Even my stomach — which can usually handle nails and stones — capitulated in the face of the secret bacteriological weapon they served us at Balalaika, leaving me with heaviness and heartburn as a lasting reminder that such culinary experiments can easily ruin...

We had wanted to visit this restaurant for a long time, following recommendations from acquaintances, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a disappointment. The waiter was friendly, but he didn’t speak Russian and at 21:46 informed us that the kitchen would be closing in five minutes (despite the stated working hours until 23:00). We were also told that coffee would no longer be available, as the coffee machine had already been cleaned. As an exception, after a bit of persuasion, they did agree to make us a coffee — and sadly, it was the only thing we actually enjoyed there.

We ordered three dishes: borscht, pelmeni, and for dessert — pancakes with honey.

The borscht turned out to be a strange broth with a small amount of meat, no potatoes or carrots, and a slight sourness from sour cream that tasted as if it had been sitting open in the fridge for a while. No bread, salo, or pampushki were offered on the side either. The pelmeni were extremely spicy, the meat had a rubbery texture, and the dough was overcooked — their shape resembled manti more than traditional pelmeni. Sadly, they had nothing in common with the familiar, nostalgic taste we all know from childhood.

For dessert, there was a pancake filled with whipped cream mixed with honey — overly sweet and cloying, as if it had been pumped in from a canister.

The bill for two came to €46.30, which, in our opinion, could have been better spent dining somewhere else without leaving disappointed.

We don’t understand why this happened — perhaps the chefs aren’t familiar with the dishes of the cuisine they’re trying to prepare, hence the poor quality. The restaurant itself was empty, while the neighboring cafes were packed.

We were politely offered chupitos as part of Spanish tradition when leaving, which was a nice gesture. Also, we happened to spot a couple of cute cockroaches along the way.

I won’t comment on the restroom — you’ll see for yourselves if you take a look.

We sincerely hope that the chefs will be able to improve in the future, so that people will want to return, rather than leave...

Pues como empezar con esta reseña la verdad... De primeras, un buen servicio por parte del camarero. Se sabía los platos y demás, por otra parte, cuando nos fue a pedir las bebidas, pedimos: una Fanta, una cerveza Tropical , una 1906, una caña, que posteriormente serían 2, por 2.60 cada una, por último una botella de agua, al precio de 2.90, es increible, y encima se olvido del agua y tuvo que traerla. Los precios de las bebidas eran desorbitados, una fanta de 220ml 2.50, una autentica estafa 5 euros por dos de ellas, y un cafe solo 1.60, únicamente con las bebidas ya se llevan 14.70, eso fue solo el prinicpio. ESTAFA CON 3 EUROS por un poco de salsa de bote, no muy diferente a la que se encuentra en cualquier supermercado, cuando por tres euros te compras el bote y te sobra dinero. Los entrantes estuvieron bien, salvo el pate de puerro que sabía a huevo y con textura de tortilla aireosa, un plato que perfectamente pueden hacer los más pequeños de la casa en sus primeros inicios en la cocina , sin duda, ni se me ocurriria pedirlo de nuevo, ya que hasta el pan tostado que te ponen, es de bolsa de supermercado y no precisamente de los buenos, por eso cobran 9.50, haciendo crítica constructiva, aunque lleve más tiempo, se podrían plantear poner, aunque sea, un pan de barra cortado y tostado viendo el precio desorbitado que ponen. En un intento de lo que trató ser unas berenjenas fritas con miel de palma, el rebozado de la berenjena frita se desprendía de la misma y tenía un sabor a pescado, porque seguramente, y pongo la mano en el fuego sin quemarme, fueron fritas, en el mismo aceite que se usa para el ingrediente al que sabía, siendo dos de los tres comensales los que lo notaron, lo único bueno de los entrantes para mi gusto fueron las gambas al ajillo, que para 12.90 andaban escasas de cantidad, despues le pedimos pan, y trae uno de pulguita para tres personas, nos dejó empanados. En los segundos, pedimos una pechuga de pollo con salsa de champiñones, por 13.50, un stroganoff con arroz, por 19.50 y un pollo Kiev por 13.90. Y empezamos con el segundo desastre, la pechuga seca dura y con la salsa de champiñones, si es posible denominarla así, porque eso era nata insípida, con dos o tres rodajas de champiñones flotantes, al final tanto la pechuga como la salsa se desecharon, porque eran incomiblel, después, el arroz blanco del stroganoff sabía acido, con una textura pastosa y nada suelta, un arroz que aparentaba que el tiempo de su consumo había pasado hace dos dias, la carne, por otro lado estaba buena, después el pollo al Kiev es una ofensa para todos los ucranianos, un completo desastre, una pechuga de pollo mal conservado, viejo, y más seco que el desierto del Sahara en época de sequía, a esto se suman unas papas guisadas y cortadas en unas rodajas muy poco homogeneas, horrorosas, que aparte de venir sin sal, venían espolvoreadas con un pimentón insulso, por tanto decidí dejarlas al igual que las verduras de guarnición. al pedir la cuenta hicimos los cálculos, ya que la factura venía con una comanda manuscrita y eran 102.18, que aunque no difiere mucho de los 102.20, se ve un detalle feo, más propio del siglo pasado. Aparte súmale 7% de IGIC que extrañamente no se inncluye en carta como exige la ley de consumo, encima, pedimos algunas cosas para llevar a casa de las que sobró para darselas a nuestra simpática y perruna mascota y a la basura tuvimos que botarla con la misma, un olor fuerte pestilente y muy ácido comenzo a emanar de la bolsa, la verdad salimos de ese sitio muy desconcertados y sintiendonos ESTAFADOS, así que no les recomiendpo ir para absolutamente NADA. Al sector de la hostelería de Gran Canaria, que últimamente se encarga de reclamar un turismo responsable, les encomiendo a reflexionar y perseguir también un sector de la restauración responsable, o al menos justo y que cumpla con la legislación vigente....