The Jolly Botanist — Restaurant in City of Edinburgh

Points for a quirky ambiance that doesn't have obnoxiously loud music, total fail for everything else.

Staff are half asleep, forgetting the first order by the time they've written down the last order (yes, you can forget something that's on the notepad you're holding!), and drag heavy wooden chairs across a hardwood floor.

Gin and tonic are served in a rocks class filled with tiny ice cubes, such that by the time it gets to you, the gin's already diluted 1:1. No point even adding the tonic. What was supposed to come with a grapefruit garnish, according to the menu, came with an orange wedge…maybe they hadn't realised they were running low on grapefruit too?

That is, assuming the gin ever gets to you. They don't actually keep tabs on what they do and don't have anymore — they only find out when someone orders.

As for the food, this is precisely the kind of stuff that gives British cuisine a bad name. Chicken and leek pie was a bowl of oily yellow water; the steak and Guinness pie was literally a bowl of boiled beef (granted, tender) with Guinness and broth diluted to homeopathic proportions using cornstarch and water. No vegetables, no herbs.

It's tragic when the pie's pastry has more flavour than the filling.

To serve that with a bowl of underdone chunky fries (no salt!) AND a bowl of boiled potatoes and carrots (also no seasoning) is a joke. A ridiculous amount of starch, none of it with any flavour.

The scotch egg was mildly better (though the yolk was a little overcooked), but flavourless haggis…isn't the whole point of haggis to be...

Love the decor and atmosphere here, they opened up the front on a balmy Spring evening which was lovely. We had a great spot at the front and the bar staff were really friendly. We ordered some drinks and started a long over due catch up.

Unfortunately because we were sat on a table with a menu (we were intending to eat after a drink and a chat) we must of been asked about 8 times if we wanted to order food! This was 8 times by two different staff, so surely after the first reply to each of them we'd of been left alone! In the end we ordered the food just to be left alone which came promptly and was delicious.

So good for a drink and eat by all means if you are prepared for it! Or else don't have a menu on your table till the last minute, then do a sneak...

I usually love going here when I'm through in Edinburgh but I was so disappointed with the service for food. I understand that it was very very busy (Spice Girls were playing at Murrayfield) but to be told there is no list for who's waiting for tables and that they would "just find us" when they had one for us, which was going to be "about two and a half hours" is just unacceptable and extremely poor management. We stayed for the best part of three hours, went back to the waiting staff repeatedly for an update and each time they spoke to me like I had just arrived and told me it would be 2 hours. How can you "just find us" if you can't even remember who you spoke to? Ended up leaving in the end and got a burger en route to...