Guillam Coffee House – South Kensington — Restaurant in London

Tragically what once used to be a great ‘hidden gem’ or tranquil spot amid the crushing realities of modern version of Sodom and Gomorrah, London, has fallen victim of corporate’s aggressive expansion and branding.

The shop is now full of insufferable, self-declared so-called fake entrepreneurs, filled with a artificial sense of self-importance, and hubris upon what they consider the rest of humanity as, the plebiscite. In fact, they are just ex international students, who felt a deep sense of guilty, after having burned their parents’ money and gained nothing through the modern scam scheme of higher education, and are now desperate to find anything that they think they can pretend to make money from, be it cypro-currency, NFT, blockchain, pharmaceutical innovation, decentralisation… anything that would be qualified as a click-bait, for those investors who only exist in their delusions.

The service is slow. The staff thinks they are cool. In fact, they are just people who also thrift through daily life but they have to pretend they are speaking a very disturbing accent, a self invented combination of what is perceived as upper class Received Pronunciation and Beverly Hill Valley accent and Manhattan accent.

Avoid! Unless you are also a heartless venture capitalist who wants to snatch milk away from babies and skin people alive, and don’t really care about it as long as it can perpetuate your place in the bubble of angel investment, private equity and wealth accumulation.

The place is loud, not suitable for working, reading, or relaxing. It is dated, badly maintained, not well looked after, dirty, unclean, and unhygienic.

Most importantly, the tea and coffee used to be good, but now is abhorrent served in terrible sustainable themed cups, instead of glasses and cups - appearing to care about trendy topics such as cutting waste and environmental sustainability. But, we all know what this is truly about: exploiting customers and patronised them for they don’t give a damn about customers anyway, as long as the capitals invested can be assured of the returns that were carefully calculated...

I was surprised, to put it mildly, when I was told that the new rules are that you can’t sit with your laptop during the weekend at the cafe anymore. 1. I was told that after I’ve ordered food and coffee, got a table and got my coffee. 2. I was offered to get a sit downstairs instead. In between of a loo, kitchen, and open door to the garden, which didn’t help to keep it warm. 3. There are only 2 tables downstairs, both were busy (with a few empty upstairs), so during pandemic and Tier 2 rules I ended up sharing a table with unknown people. 4. I was told that these rules were implemented because people stay for too long at the cafe. When I was leaving, the same people who were there when I came, were still there. With their books, news papers and studies. This is allowed. 5. During the Tier 2 rules, when you are not allowed to meet people outside of your household indoors, it’s quite logical for people to go to a cafe by them selves and actually follow the rules. I believe, a lot of people would come with a book or a laptop, because it’s better, than to sit completely alone. 6. People work from home (a lot of them) and the only moment when they can sort out their personal arrangements, is the weekend. During the time of digital, they do it with their laptops. 7. If you actually have demand on using your cafe as a base for working on your laptop, then monetise it! Instead of actually loosing your clients that were regulars. To sum up, I find it rude, disrespectful, and actually against supporting governmental anti-covid measures, but indirectly supporting people mixing households instead. I should admit, that the coffee and food is good. Unfortunately, won’t have a chance to try it again, as I don’t have enough time for going to cafes alone and not sort...

My review follows this edit since I just wanted to say how shocked I was at Guillam’s reply to it. I was neither rude to staff nor did I place any hair on the coffee lid. I am a bald man and don’t even have hair so this made me laugh. As a business owner myself this type of reply clearly shows complete lack of customer care or acknowledgment of how bad customer service has gotten on many establishments in the UK. My review was an honest sharing of how indifferent I felt the service here was and how even after telling them about the hair on my cup there was not even an apology and in addition they continue to refuse to acknowledge that in their reply, astounding lack of customer care! - read the initial review here - This place is beautiful, and could be so lovely if it weren’t for the service. It’s absolutely appalling, with not a thank you to be heard m, it’s almost as though they are doing you a favour. When I asked for the name of the person who had served me with such indifference the oriental lady serving wouldn’t give it to me which shocked me even further, but finally told me it was the manager, which was very surprising. When my coffee finally arrived it was delicious, I can’t deny that, however I was further dismayed to find a huge black hair on my cup lid. Please see below photo. Give them their due, they did make a fresh one but nevertheless it...