Clarendon — Restaurant in Wolverhampton

Upon walking into the pub, it became clear that they were struggling a bit, perhaps because of the WV1 fest. No problem, bit of a wait but we all ordered food. Kids wanted sausage and mash. Five minutes later got told that there were no sausages. Again no worries, changed to chicken dippers.

Food took a while, but they were busy.

It was once the food arrived that we all seemed to slip into an episode of the twilight zone! Bearing in mind that there was nothing particularly challenging: 3 x chicken dippers and chips; 2 x chicken burgers and chips; a burger with cheese, bacon and bbq; and a burger with emmental cheese, mushrooms and onions, all of which are supposed to be served with slaw and salad.

Firstly and most obviously no slaw, and just a few sad looking lettuce leaves as a 'salad'. Chips looked like the tiny dregs from the bottom of the bags with portions to match. The bacon, bbq burger, had no bacon or bbq (£9)... odd and the other burger was beyond char-grilled to the point of being cremated and had blue cheese rather than emmental (£8).

At this point we thought we'd say something to the member of staff who brought out the food. I don't know his name, so I shall just call him Basil, mainly because the whole shambolic affair smacked of an episode of Fawlty Towers. So we point out to Basil the issue with our orders, to which he replies rather cryptically 'I've been cooking in the kitchen all afternoon', as if he were our Mother and we were a group of ungrateful children, rather than paying customers.

We point out that the bacon bbq burger has no bacon or bbq, he simply replies that "there's no bacon". It seems common sense argument is lost, despite the fact no one informed us that the kitchen was operating at 30% capacity and that my husband would end up with a dry cheeseburger for £9, it is somehow our fault and we need to live with it.

Basil is extremely worked up after his hard day in the kitchen, and looks like he might fight one of us, so when he returns with the slaw and sauces, muttering something about a partial refund, we are all somewhat anxious about tucking into it.

We eat some, but sadly a lot is inedible and it appears that Basil has since closed the kitchen, so we ask to speak to the manager about getting a partial refund, he's upstairs and will be a few minutes ... no worries.

10 minutes passes, no manager. So we ask the bar staff again. They go upstairs and we're told he'll be down in a minute. Another 15 minutes, still nothing.

It's at this point that a strong suspicion creeps over us that Basil is, in fact, the manager.

I get up and again speak to the bar staff, "we've been waiting 25 minutes, we need to speak to the manager to be issued with a refund, please could he come downstairs?" The young man at the bar is clearly looking a bit uncomfortable, but goes upstairs to ask him again, this time I wait rather than returning to the table...another 5 minutes, still nothing.

The three young children in the party (3, 5 and 8) are getting a bit feral at this point, so I go have to go a bit 'full on mum' when I next speak to the staff. "We want refunds on two burgers, it's clear your manager is not going to come down to speak to us, so please can you get this authorised, then we will leave!"

Hooray!! Two minutes later, we're on our merry way, with a £17 refund. I'm only left with one burning question, was the manager Basil? I guess...

We were enticed in due to the board outside advertising Asian grill food.

All seemed ok when we strolled in and got a table

The menu isn't large but a reasonable sample across the board

We got talking to a lady that had visited just 2 weeks before and she said the food was amazing and the portion sizes very large

Hmmm sounds promising so we ordered the chicken curry and naan and an extra naan.

Just one of us dining tonight

So we're waiting a while and clearly something's not right as the food is taking ages but nevertheless we sit in hope

Anyway the food comes out for the lady we get talking too and she is far from impressed

The portion sizes would not have filled a small child so she challenged the waitress and compared her last visit to this

She couldn't answer but sent the manager out

The manager earlier had made a very strange comment at the bar whilst I was being served and said if a person's bill came to a sum ending in pence eg £...95 just round it down to £...50p

Hmmmm what's going on here

Anyway the manager insisted that the food portions have always been the same size

The naan bread looked fine, the curry dish tiny and very watery and the salad the lady ordered was 4 thin slices of cucumber sliced into strands with a sprinkle of grated cheese on the top, or at least what it looked like

Now I'm no chef but I do love cooking, yes I know it's not the same but anyways

So the lady challenges the manager and asks for a refund as what she got this time is in no way a comparison of what she was served the last time

The manager offered a 50% refund but the lady had not touched the food whatsoever

We then asked for a full refund too and was told we had had our food. Sorry missus but no we have not

There was also a guy over my left shoulder contemplating ordering food too but he retreated seeing what was on offer

So the manager refused to talk to us anymore as she said we had all become aggressive

We hadn't but we were all trying to get our point across about the offer of a 50% refund

To be fair the manager she did also offer the lady more food without charge but to be fair what was delivered did not look appetising, except the naan bread to be fair and how long would it have taken to bring another helping after the first delivery was more than half an hour anyway

So after a few minutes she accepted that we had not had the food and fully refunded both tables and took the untouched food away

I do not like to criticise and when 5 people are all talking to you at the same time it can be quite daunting but she could have managed the situation better by merely saying please let me talk to you each a table at a time

She was very rude and did not manage the situation at all well, so needless to say we won't go back. I guess if we went back she'd bar us anyway lol

A note of caution, buyer beware. If you would like a few drinks and some great tummy filling food and you're on a bit of a budget like most of us are these days then maybe try somewhere else

I won't be disrespectful to the manager she was engaged with unhappy customers but she could have defused the situation rather than making it worse by being rude and obtuse

Sorry Clarendon, but it's a no...

Visited The Claredon on Monday 30 September 2019 for a drink. It must be nearly 30 years since my last visit. On my previous visit I remember a basic Victorian pub that accommodated us after a visit to the nearby Banks's brewery. ( I cannot get used to calling it Marston's! ) This time we found a greatly remodeled pub with TV screens and 'piped' music playing loudly throughout the place.

We were able to park on the street just behind the Clarendon where there is space for about ten cars with 2 hour time limited parking. Be aware the rest of the parking in that area is for the brewery and is for permit holders only.

There is a rear entrance from that area through a small partly covered patio area. This area appears to be used by the smokers.

A walk through a large entrance area leads into a large open plan bar area with plenty of seating space. The large bar area runs down the left handside of the room ( when entering from the rear) and it has six real ale handpumps as a central feature. These serve Banks's beers plus others from the group such as Jennings. We ordered two halves of Banks's Mild and were amazed to be only charged £2.00 a pint ! Sadly the quality of the beer was only average and not the creamy , tasty mild that my taste buds remember.

We sat in a side area to the right of the pub where the seating was more comfortable. Conversation was difficult due to the loudness of the piped music. A lower area at the front of the Clarendon is down steps so if you are disabled I would recommend approaching from the rear door if you wish to get to the bar.

At present the downstairs gentleman's toilet is out of action so be prepared for a long walk up a lot of stairs to use the gents by the upstairs function room. The stairs lead off from the...