Cypress Grille — Restaurant in Boerne

We had such high expectations but what a mess. We were seated on the only table between the two bathrooms - who places a table here? It's great to enjoy your meal while everyone in a line around you needs the toilet.

Our server was really bad in explaining the menu, taking the orders and getting any sort of pacing right. Initially, he translated our order for "two waters" into "two iced teas" and then everything disintegrated from there.

The ceviche (please see picture) was as far from a ceviche as you can get - one half avocado, a bunch of tortilla strips with a grilled shrimp, leafy greens and citrus-flavored gunge. The whole thing was served on a narrow plate so if you're sharing, you spill everything. Just plain bad.

The special was a shrimp wedge salad that would look good at a friend's house while they struggle with a barbecue, but not at a CIA-trained restaurant. We ordered two and the cuts on everything were totally different. Massive red onion rings compared with tiny ends; big avocado pieces and then the small. And a massive amount of bacon hid the fact the shrimps were cremated.

On top of everything, I hated the nit-picky note-writing in the menu which included such gems as "No free refills on drinks (except iced tea and coffee)" which is insane since a soda refill costs less than half a cent. And then there's "Don't use your cell phones" which makes me want to give you the big ** you since it's absolutely none of your business. These are the total anathama of good customer service.

Aside from the atrocious service and pretty awful food interpretations, I just couldn't get passed the idea that this quality would fly with anyone. The lunch is all salads and sandwiches but with zero flair, integrity and originality. When my own mother can cook and present a dish better than a CIA chef, there's definitely something wrong -...

We were last at Cypress Grille almost a year ago. I remembered the nice atmosphere and the interesting menu and so we went again.

I must say that the main server was professional, knowledgeablel and friendly. However there was a young server who was rather clueless about her job and how to properly serve. She desperately required training and mentoring. Here are some no nos that I couldn't help but notice:

Three of us at the table asked for more water. Instead of bringing water to our table, she removed the 3 glasses to the bar area. She had no way of knowing which glass belonged to which person. And no -she did not change for clean glasses. I saw my lipstick on another person's glass. Yuck!

I needed a new cutlery set and had to ask for one. She came back with the cutlery set wrapped in a napkin. Instead of walking around to the side of the table where I was seated, she passed the utensils through the middle - passing her arm in front of other guests. Even worse, she handed the utensils to me with the sharps out!

In addition, I was really looking forward to a wedge salad and equally disappointed when it arrived. I believe that we paid $14 for the salad. What I got was a small sliver (not a wedge) or iceberg lettuce with minimal toppings and blue cheese dressing which was ok but could have been bottled. Iceberg lettuce around Boerne costs about $1 a head in any grocery store. Given that my slice (not wedge) of lettuce must have cost Cypress Grille 10 cents! I am annoyed with myself for not bringing my meagre order to the attention of staff.

I hope that Cypress Griille pays more attention to quality and quantity control. Also the training...

I feel like this restaurant tries really hard to be a gourmet, high-end place, and it succeeds on some levels, but not all of them. Overall, the food is great. Everything tastes fresh and most of what I’ve had has been exceptional in flavor. However, there have been a couple amateur cooking errors that I’ve noticed. My angel hair pasta was over cooked and mushy, and the “blackened” scallops were barely braised and underdone. Beyond that, the food has been fine.

I’m mostly only giving this restaurant 3 stars because it doesn’t quite fit the bill of a gourmet restaurant. I don’t feel like I’m anywhere fancy when I’m here. Lighting is dim and perfect for date night, but it’s not as romantic when you notice the table splitting and the bench fraying, not to mention the Dollar Tree table decorations. I’m not being sarcastic, the Dollar Tree sells these same salt & pepper shakers, along with the fake plastic tealight candles. Also, the bathroom is a joke. It’s a fast food style restroom with cement floors that desperately need cleaning. I typically wouldn’t mention a restroom in a review, but I just feel like if I’m paying over $150 on a meal for only two people, my entire experience must live up to a pretty high expectation. I’ve been in cleaner and nicer restrooms in cheaper places like Denny’s or Red Robin.

I wouldn’t choose to come back here. I’ve been here a couple of time with my fiancé’s family, but I just don’t understand the hype. The food is good and the service is always friendly, but I think everything is extremely overpriced for the restaurant...