The Archives — Restaurant in Burlington

So my buddy and I show up from another bar, everybody who is my friend knows that once I have a couple beers, I love doing math. I get distracted watching the pinball machines for a minute, my buddy said he needs to hit the bathroom, so I decided to grab the coins.

The coin machine gives you choices. Spend small, get the normal rate. Spend $20, get 88 tokens — eight extra for free. That’s four full free pinball games. The value-to-dollar ratio was unbeatable, so of course I went all in with a twenty.

The machine goes off like a slot jackpot, raining tokens endlessly. My friend actually comes back from the bathroom, finds me still standing there in a hailstorm of coins, and casually tells me, “Dude, I already bought us $10 worth.” At this point I now know there is no way we are gonna go through our stash. My pockets are stuffed with what feels like two pounds of brass tokens clanking like I swallowed a cash register. At this point, the only thing holding my pants up is prayers.

But anyone who knows me knows I don’t just take the machine’s word for it. I sit down at the bar, have my friend order us drinks, and I begin to count.

Stack by stack, pile by pile. When the dust settles, I’ve got 89 tokens. Not 88. I didn’t get shorted. I got an extra one. Nine free tokens in total. That’s half a pinball game more than the math even promised. Profit.

Pinball here costs 2 tokens per play. But I was on fire. My games snowballed: every high score triggered extra rounds. So 2 tokens were often giving me 4, 5, even more games(thats 8 coins of value) My fun to cost ratio was insane. My 89 tokens had the effective playtime of 356+.

At one point, some stranger commented on how I was crushing the boss fights on the machine. I didn’t even know pinball had boss fights, but I was wiping them out like a man possessed.

My buddy and I tried a few other games — including the Budweiser Tapper, where you serve beers down a counter — but I inevitably found myself back at pinball.

By closing time, my pockets were still heavy. We hadn’t even burned through half the tokens. So my buddy and I get an Uber home. And I dump all the coins out on the table. Laughing like a madman. My $20 investment had already paid out ridiculous dividends in entertainment, and the leftover tokens mean next time’s already prepaid. We usually take the bus when we go into town so we don’t got to pay parking. So I am going to have to walk half a mile with all those coins in my pocket. And it is so worth it.

Epic time, bring a friend. I wish I had a third person to help me spend all...

I had a terrible experience with a bouncer here. My friend's legitimate Pennsylvania driver's license got flagged as a fake. My friend disputed the decision, and the bouncer called "the sheriff's" to validate the ID. He said it came back as false.

Mind you, the license is legit.

We flagged down a nearby police officer, who ran it through their database, and confirmed the ID was real. At this time, the bouncer started telling the officers that they were wrong, saying he "trained people to spot fakes". Eventually, we were let in, but not before my friend was almost driven to tears because of how aggressive this bouncer was.

I don't blame the bouncer for making a mistake. Bouncers here likely process 200 IDs a night, 365 nights a year. Mistakes are bound to be made. But what I do have an issue with is this:

Who did the bouncer call, if anyone? The Burlington Police Department verified the ID as legit. If the bouncer actually called a sheriff's office, and the ID came back fake, then there are discrepancies in the system being used, which is a huge issue. Or, did he fake a call to the sheriff's office as an appeal to authority? If this is the case, then he lied to us, and that's reprehensible.

Upon being told by the officer that the ID was real, he doubled down on his stance, and started telling them they were wrong! He was trying very hard not to let my friend in.

I will not be returning here. I advise that you also do not go to an establishment where at least one bouncer is using illegitimate verification methods, is...

I'm one of those people that saves 5 for staff for like... amazeballs service. These guys are awesome. I was having sort of a rough night and this place really came in clutch. This was a great escape from the dance hall and the pool yard that I longed for in my homestate, but nothing comes even close.

Truly a unique New England gem and should be treated as such. Much like a favorite Sega Genesis cartridge weighing down your 2023 tax returns like you're gonna play that thing later. Groovy little place, and the brew menu is incredible 👌 in a multifaceted way 😋 💎

Had quite a few options for the celiac. No orchards, but quite an array of Meaderies and Cider[ies?] Presses in its place. I ended my night with Valkyrie's Choice, a honey mead out of Vermont's own St. Albans! It was a very good bittersweet honey aftertaste and I wondered what your house honey syrup would have tasted like with it for quite a while over in my end of that great beast of a bar. Nice with Citizens Press Cider either before or after if you want to shake it up.

I still have 3 tokens, so I gotta go back at least one more time 😄🥰 it's either MK ultimate or the batman pinball that totally...