Panera Bread — Restaurant in Edina

Let's not beat around the bush—I want the death juice back.

I'm an adult human being who consumes a troubling amount of caffeine. This is irresponsible, yet it's also within my rights. At times I've played chicken with an entire gram of caffeine per day (yet never exceeded this because I can do math at—almost exclusively—an elementary level). I know my limits; I challenge my limits; I expand my limits, and should my heart explode well so be it.

It was insulting enough when they sequestered the death juice behind the back counter. Like a child begging for one more scrum of Halloween candy, like an 80s dad renting pornography on VHS while the rest of the family's vacationing on the coast, I was made to hover at that counter and fiddle impatiently while the staff metered out an "appropriate" amount of caffeinated juice. Humiliating, yet even this is no longer permitted.

To embrace the death juice was to live along that vibrant, electric edge. It was a form of expression, to feel something proactively. Now it's only a memory.

I can (legally) suck on smoldering paper tubes that prolapse my lungs with tar and carcinogens; I can (legally) register myself to be flown thousands of miles to another person's homeland and murder them in the name of my country; I can (legally) imbibe in poisonous liquid that damages my organs, inhibits me from operating heavy machinery, and plays an essential role in an overwhelming amount of accidental deaths annually; I cannot legally purchase caffeinated juice at...

I’ve now had enough troubles with this location to finally write a review. Today I ordered delivery from the Panera App. I received an email and tracking notification saying my food was out for delivery. I live THREE minutes away from Panera but my food took 26 minutes to arrive at my home. The tracking services were horrible and I received no updates throughout. I have ordered delivery before and it often tracks very slowly and takes significantly longer than it should but this was a whole other level. Additionally once I received my order the food wasn’t warm, and my bagels that I had ordered simply sliced came sliced and toasted. A waste of $6. And this is not the first time they’ve gotten orders wrong even when I’ve gone into the store. And for things as simple as bagels. One time they even insinuated that I was in the wrong and that they had included the item when I knew they hadn’t. My delivery notification email asked me how my delivery was and when I tried to click the option to leave a review the website kept redirecting me to say that my order had been delivered with no option for me to review the experience. So I’m leaving a review to the store. I’ve had some good experiences (hence the 2 stars and not 1 star) but my frustration is pretty high at all...

Ouch! Not the best Panera experience... First of all the place is hard to find in the daylight as it blends in with the rest of a massive strip mall. (Although I imagine it's quite easy to find at night.) Service was ok ... Although my food is no longer warm because the pager never went off. The only reason I have the food is because I went in search of what was taking so long to ... ... ... toast a bagel.

This is atypical for Panera. 🤔

All this being said I am CERTAIN that if I went up to the manager - who I can see actively working his butt off keeping the place clean - he would not only let me keep my current food he would remake the entire thing for free in an instant. THAT'S how good Panera is - THAT'S how I know today is a fluke. (And who knows maybe the battery was just dead in the pager.)

As part of my job I travel the United States. I make it a point to find the nearest Panera to my hotel and bookmark it. I really can't say enough good things...