Cotton Patch Cafe — Restaurant in Ennis

I think Cotton Patch has a small case of identify confusion. Allow me to paint you a mental picture to help explain. Imagine two columns. To your left, column "A: the modern upscale destination restaurant (the red team)," and to your right, column "B, whom we will gently refer to as the Upper Lower Echelon (the yellow team)." In each column, let's make a list of their characteristics. Don't worry, I'll help you.

Let's start by examining column "A". Some things I think of when I picture this place are: reclaimed wood, corrugated tin, rustic but swanky lighting, nicely groomed wait staff (mustache artisan and oversize spectacle wearing hipsters being the most risqué looks among them), creative table adornments around sea salt and peppercorn grinders, systematically mismatched tableware and chairs... You see where I'm going here. Now, to column "B". Things you may expect to see in these establishments might include paper napkins tied to silverware sets with pre-glued paper ringlets, rolls served with butter in plastic ramekins, unkempt wait staff sporting not widely accepted hair colors or racy make up, and no management as far as the eye can see. Sound about right? Good, let's move on.

Cotton Patch is the kid in gym class wearing the red jersey that smells of a JV linebacker's locker smeared in puberty, but keeps scoring for the yellow team, you know the one, with all the cheerleaders and the kids who smoke cigarettes across the parking lot at lunch. They are totally confused, but who cares, nowadays they still get a ribbon for playing anyway.

The Scene: Diners: three Drinks ordered: Dr. Pepper, Coke, Sprite, Patrón margarita with salt (frozen) Appetizers: Cheese Fries Entrees: Fried Pickles, Ribeye (medium rare) with Loaded Baked Potato and Macaroni & Cheese, and Chicken Fried Steak (the big one) with Caesar Salad and Green Beans

The decor was simple, sporting classy lines throughout, with perfect lighting in all the right places. The wait staff looked orderly, long sleeve black dress shirts and matching bistro aprons both crisp and clean, and all in dark... Blue jeans? Wait... did he just score for the yellow team? I don’t know, I can’t see the score board behind his man bun.

The music was tuned to familiar Top 40 radio hits, but not so loud as to serve as a distraction. It was easily observed that all the tables were engaged in casual conversation. Thinking back, everyone, staff included, appeared to be having a good time. This goes extra to the toddler at the table adjacent ours, who spent a good majority of his meal flirting with my boyfriend’s 22-year-old daughter. He left his jacket behind as his family exited the restaurant. Pure coincidence, or is Dad already teaching him some slick moves?

Our server, Emily (I hope my memory serves. I don’t list server names when they suck at life. Mostly because I hate getting them in trouble, and I’d rather not publicly out them for what could just be a learning opportunity. But you rocked it, Sister, and I hope you get some kudos), was pleasant and rather attentive. Drinks were filled before slurps were audible, plates carted away as they emptied, and her tableside manners were that of a skilled server who knows when to break the awkward silences with witty banter and whom also masters the art of silent service. Did I mention she had on black lipstick? Could have been dark purple. And thick eyeliner, too! Oh my! Here comes the yellow team with another point on the board!

But I digress.

Let me be clear, this is not a review to say that the service, food, staff, atmosphere, pricing, menu, or anything else were less than stellar. In fact, I wish we lived a bit closer, so I could eat here more often. This is merely an observational piece, and my opinion of this identity crisis, née nuance, is one...

If I could give zero stars, I would. My order was scheduled for pickup at a specific time, but it took over 30 minutes past that before I got it. When it finally came out, the food was lukewarm at best. Fried items were soggy, not crispy, and sitting in juices from the sides.

While I was waiting, employees were hanging out and literally doing push-ups on the dirty floor—while my food was supposedly “being prepared.” Every time I asked about it, I got the same “it’s being prepared” line. When I sent the food back because it wasn’t hot, I was met with a full-on attitude.

If this food had been brought to my table in the restaurant in that state, I would have reacted the same way. The waitress also got snippy with me and with another customer who was waiting with me—someone who was simply giving constructive criticism in a calm tone. She claimed “it’s not my fault” and started being openly rude. Then she grabbed a stack of 15–20 to-go tickets (all of which came through while I was waiting and they were having a grand ole time chatting) tossed them in the back, and loudly declared she “wasn’t doing it,” she needed to go “S” which I’m assuming is smoking but whatever, openly talking badly about us as customers like we were purposely being jerks. Suddenly, she “needed help” with to-go orders… despite there being no new customers the entire time I was there. There were actually only about 5 tables total being occupied in the restaurant.

The manager didn’t make things better—he actually told me that fried mushrooms aren’t supposed to come out crispy with that kind of breading. That’s laughable, because my husband and I order them here often and they’re normally just fine. I mean, they’re not like fried chicken crispy but still crispy nonetheless. These were soft, mushy, and lukewarm—exactly what happens when food sits in a to-go container too long. The manager even put his hand over my food to “feel the heat coming off it” (gross and unnecessary) and claimed it was fresh. No, it wasn’t. If you have to touch my food to check, it’s not fresh.

His “solution” was to toss my chicken and mushrooms back in the fryer for a couple of minutes and dump gravy over the potatoes to disguise that they were cold too. Absolutely unacceptable.

Poor service, poorly handled food, and an unprofessional staff from...

We ate here this week and came in around 5pm hoping to beat the dinner rush. There were only 3 other tables in the main dining area where we were seated and there were several employees standing at the front talking. We sat at our table for about 15 minutes and were never greeted by a server or asked what we would like to drink. I commented to another server at the table next to us that we needed assistance and he walked off, and never came back. Another 5 minutes goes by and we ask the hostess where our server is and she said she would get him for us. Now it’s been about 25 minutes and we still haven’t given a drink order. Another couple comes in and sits down beside us and is immediately greeted and given rolls and drinks. My wife says that we should leave and as we begin to walk out she mentions to the hostess and other employees standing at the front talking that we were really disappointed that no one has come to check on us. I then asked if someone would be willing to provide service to us and then we were told that someone would be right there. We went back to our table and waited an additional few minutes before our server finally showed up. He told us that the table who came in after us was in someone else’s section which is why that particular server did not assist us. We explained to him that several employees were available and had walked by us or were standing around talking and no one checked on us. Then we were given our drinks and rolls with no plates and no silverware. It took about 40 minutes for our meal to be served after we finally ordered. The food was sub-par. My daughter asked for cookies that came with her kid’s meal but were never provided. We never got refills. The loaded baked potato looked like it had been microwaved and was missing bacon and chives because they were out. The fish was flavorless. We asked to speak to the manager and then had to wait even longer on her to come out. We told her what happened and an apology was made but nothing was taken off of our ticket and we paid full-price for a meal that was sub-par and had us there for over an hour and a half. We will not be...