Fish Tales — Restaurant in Galveston

Welcome back, it’s me Daisy Hill, the one and only, back at it again… if you saw my last review, which come on you probably have. (It’s only been a week and a half, kinda embarrassing to say the least… nah I’m just joking, coming back here was a blast!) Well if it is true that you saw my last review I know you are not here to read a boring snooze fest about how good it was but instead you want to hear it in a story time perspective. This journey starts a little differently, instead of a high speed chase or climbing out of a window, it starts with driving in a storm. Early this morning about 8:30am, (that is early for me) my dog Toby and I ran to my car, rain coming down like bullets (suspenseful music playing, yes very suspenseful). Grab Starbucks, because Toby would probably disown me as his owner if I didn’t get him a pup cup, and rushed over to my Fathers house. (I am not going to dwell on my time there because we have much more demanding topics to discuss.) We hop in his “100% safe jeep”, (I am going to emphasize the air quotes there because it’s foreshadowing.) drive down to Galveston for a full day of summer fun, fully knowing that it was raining and the streets were flooding. (Yippee) When coming back from a little shopping spree, more my dad than me, we arrive at his jeep only to find the gear would not change, it would start but we were stuck in park. While I would have loved to experience the technical aspects of fixing a 15 year old jeep, I chose my way and slept through the whole thing. (I was tired, the coffee had wore off and I was crashing fast.) Soon it was fixed, unlike the world that the Avengers lived in after the Thanos snap.We finally made it to Fishtails…(that exposition took way to long, now to the good part.) Like last time we meet up with Daniel, who is still 100 million times better than Celia. (I met her this time…let’s just say, how to put this lightly… oh yeah, Daniel is still absolutely way better.) I went home that day, of the original review, thinking where else could a legend like him be found. I laughed when I came to the conclusion that not a single place had as good as legend as he is.(I am going to be a little real here, just a warning.) I love making these reviews and they have honestly made me realize how much I love writing. For the moment i was forced in English I have always hated it, but writing that fist review for Daniel changed that and that is why, sorry Celia, he will always remain 100 million times better. (Okay thanks aside.) When you go to Fishtails ask for Daniel, you will not be disappointed or sad, like when you felt at the end of Friends, the show, (sorry for spoilers.) when everyone found love except for Joey. And you won’t have to contemplate your life decisions like Ross when three of his marriages ended in divorce. I still can’t believe I came back so soon to be honest, I feel as though that Fishtails is now my home away from home. I will continue to dine and happily write about my experiences here when I have time. As this Adventure comes to a close, I want to thank Daniel and all the staff there that make each dinner experience I have special. Oh and special message to Celia, (you are going to want to hear this.) Daniel is winning this competition and I will continue to make new accounts to make that happen. (evil laugh.) Jokes aside I really loved meeting you both. Maybe just maybe Celia, you could get a review from me one day, who knows, it might come when you least expect it. Now overall, all I can say is Daniel is 100 million times better than Celia, and that he better win this competition....

Fish Tales in Galveston is yet another testament to the dismal failure that is Landry’s corporate restaurant chain. If you’re in the mood for gross, frozen seafood that likely hails from the far reaches of a Chinese processing plant, then by all means, step right up. Otherwise, save your taste buds and head for literally anywhere else.

From the moment I walked in, it was clear that Fish Tales is just another cog in the Landry’s machine, churning out soulless, flavorless dishes with all the charm of a DMV waiting room. The ambiance? Think tacky nautical theme meets fast food joint. It’s a place where plastic fish decor goes to die, alongside your hopes for a decent meal.

Let’s start with the seafood platter, a veritable horror show on a plate. The shrimp were rubbery and tasteless, likely frozen long enough to have seen several presidential administrations come and go. The fish? If there was any actual fish beneath the thick, greasy batter, it remained well hidden. It had the consistency of an eraser and the flavor profile of wet cardboard. The calamari was a chewy, oily mess that tasted more like fried rubber bands than anything remotely edible.

And then there was the crab cake. Calling this an abomination is an insult to abominations everywhere. It was a mushy, bland patty with no discernible crab flavor, drowned in a nondescript sauce that did nothing to mask its inherent mediocrity. It’s as if the chef set out to create the most forgettable crab cake in existence and succeeded spectacularly.

The sides were equally dismal. The fries were limp and soggy, a far cry from the crispy perfection one would hope for. The coleslaw was a sad, wilted affair, drowning in a cloyingly sweet dressing that could double as pancake syrup. Even the hush puppies, usually a safe bet, were dense and flavorless, a fitting companion to the rest of this tragic meal.

Service was as uninspired as the food. The staff seemed to be going through the motions, devoid of any enthusiasm or genuine interest in providing a good dining experience. It was clear that they, too, had given up hope somewhere between serving yet another plate of frozen shrimp and dodging complaints from equally disappointed diners.

If you’re in Galveston and craving seafood, avoid Fish Tales like the plague. There are plenty of local joints that understand the meaning of fresh, flavorful seafood and know how to deliver a meal that doesn’t make you question your life choices. Fish Tales is a blight on the culinary landscape, a stark reminder that corporate mediocrity should never be mistaken for quality dining. One star is far too generous for this frozen...

Where does one even begin?! Horrible, just plain horrible.

I’ll say this first and foremost, our server really did try and we knew it was his first night serving tables. This is not a complaint on him.

Made a reservation for 9pm. Checked in and requested the patio. Our name was called and we were directed upstairs. That’s where it just went bad in every direction.

The hostess upstairs had a really bad attitude. We were asked how many (just the two of us), not “hello, good evening” not even a smile. She walked off and I assumed we were to follow. She directed us to a table inside and I stated that we requested outside. We were informed that would be yet another 45 minutes to wait. Wait, what?

So we sat inside and the server (Xavier) introduced himself. Nice kid. Really tried. It was his first night so I completely understand that.

Drink orders were taken and the iced tea literally had no ice. We asked for an additional glass of ice. I ordered a frozen drink and literally watched it melt at the bartender station. Numerous waiters came and went and the bartender played on her phone, while I watched my drink just sit. I even timed it, over 8 minutes it sat.

We ordered the spinach dip as an appetizer, blackened redfish and “jumbo grilled shrimp” as our entrees What an absolute embarrassment for this establishment. Spinach dip was lukewarm at best and watery. Yes, WATERY. Redfish was dry and served with some sort of lemon sauce. The sauce was so cold we thought it was some sort of gravy due to it’s consistency. The “jumbo grilled shrimp” were no bigger than cocktail shrimp, cold, and charged $5 for a substitute of hush puppies (cold and stale) for the veggies.

Meanwhile we watched at least 4 other parties being sat outside.

Our total was close to $100 for this tab. Not one thing was even close to the worth on the price. We would’ve been better off going to a cafeteria. Seriously.

Ever been so mad you feel like you need 24 hours to “cool off” before you write a review? This was Friday night and now it’s Tuesday. I’ve sent two emails to corporate about this and still no response. Even more shocked that this is part of the Landry’s chain.

Between horrible food, the attitude of the hostess and blatant lie about sitting outside, and watching others just walk by and not care about drinks being needed delivered (I can only assume that’s what happened to our food as well)…. We will never ever go back to this place. Everyone knows there’s a staffing shortage and we understand that completely. There’s absolutely no excuse for serving cold food and half melted...