Malone's Ale House — Restaurant in Hillsboro

Some coworkers and I went there for a lunch a few weeks ago and we liked the wait staff, the burgers, and how great the sound system was. So we decided to go back there for lunch after a few weeks. It was horrible and we all decided we'll never go back there. It all started with the music. They have one of those TouchTunes online jukeboxes where you can search and find songs with your phone, buy credits, and play songs. We all like Metallica, so... we played Metallica. Part way through the playlist we noticed that one of the songs skipped halfway through. So, the machine played the next Metallica song. We chalked it up to a glitch, but then the next song skipped halfway through as well! The next time the waitress came over we complained about paying to hear these songs and the machine was cutting them short. NOPE. It turns out THEY were cutting them short because some other customer complained about the songs. Well.... then buy your own songs!! That's what those machines are for! You can pay to jump in front of whatever is playing so you can hear WHATEVER it is you want! It's a perfectly democratic jukebox. Anyway, she called the manager and he gave her permission to pay us a measly $1 back in pain and suffering, and she stopped skipping tracks but instead turned down the music so low we could barely hear it. Not to mention, the entire lunch was awkward now. She was acting weird. This is pretty frustrating on its own, but what really got us was how sick we go that afternoon at work. I don't know what got us as the only thing that was similar about our meals was the fries and the lettuce/tomatoes. The fries had this disgusting, old fryer oil taste. Like as if they cooked a thousand fish & chips in there and never changed it. It makes me want to dry heave just thinking about it. Anyway, there were many trips to the bathroom for 3 days before I was back to normal. I almost went to the doctor on the 3rd day because I've never had something last that long. Needless to say, I can't recommend this place even to my worst enemies. Especially since there's many other places like this around here that didn't treat you like a second-rate customer and attempt to kill you in the process. You've...

So I honestly did not plan to come to Malones tonight. Had about $80 in my pocket and just wanted to grab some drinks and play some slots. Showed up just down the road at Dotty’s to do just that and there was at gal outside who let me know before I even went in that it was going to be at least a hour wait for the slots and suggested I go a couple businesses down to Malones Ale House as they had video poker as well. So I said hey you know I’ve lived in town for 2 years now and have never been to Malones so let’s give it a shot. Showed up walked in and ordered a decently priced jack and coke and it was DELICIOUS 🤤. Waited about 4 minutes and a machine opens up so I could play some slots. Sat down put $70 in and hit max bet. The machines were on fire tonight as in the aspect that I played max on that $70 for at least 40 mins straight and then just like magic I got 3 bonuses for in a row and was suddenly up $200 dollars. And during all this the Security guard was just as invested with me winning as I was myself. I loved it. Everybody in Malones seemed happy and having a really good time. The security guard and the bartender were friendly and engaging. It was just good vibes and atmosphere all around and I will DEFINITELY be coming back as I think I found my new spot to hang after a long day...

Malones is a good place. It is very different depending when you go. Afternoon and early evening are laid-back, with a sports bar feel. After 10pm, especially Friday and Saturday, it's more of a club/party bar. Due to this, they are very strict with ID's. Don't expect to get in without a VALID (not expired) ID. Food is always great and they never get mad when I walk in 30 min before closing and order something. Wait staff is very friendly, but can get very busy (and thus slow the service a bit). Friday night is always packed (and loud!) from 4pm on. Don't expect to find an open booth Friday night. Sometimes you can get lucky, but usually stuck with a bar seat or standing. Most people keep to their own groups, I generally have no contact with anyone except the waitress when I get a booth, but can usually make new friends when...