Milo's Hamburgers — Restaurant in Montgomery

I've had Milo's on my bucket list for years, not even kidding. On my way back from the NE GA mountains today, I had the time to stop and try it out. Gadzooks, I was thoroughly underwhelmed and disappointed.

First, the location. Not really the location, I guess...it's where it is and that's that. Milo's is on the blue "Food" signs on I-85 (which is how I knew the place was there, so here's verification that people look at those signs), but the restaurant is south of I-85, turn right at the second light, then weave around some more road and take a right at (again) the second light. That may sound simple, but it was farther from the Interstate than I would have ventured, had I mapped it instead of relying on the blue exit signs. But, whatever...that's trivial.

I had to wash my hands and road whiz, so I hit the head first. Clean, spacious restroom. With actual paper towels. Because screw coal generated electrical, fan-forced, heated air. I want to dry my hands and wipe my face with the fibers of slain coniferous flora. Plus, I like to have something to buffer my now hygienically-clean fingers from the cooties that the hoi polloi deposit on the door handle.

It's an efficient operation. Peruse the menu board, place your order, pay, and they'll call your number...after which you go pick up your grub and find seating. Or leave. Either/or. I noshed on premises.

Lots of tea. Not "lots of teas". There was urn after urn of sweet and unsweet tea. No chamomile or jasmine. I drink Diet Coke and they had that. And wonderful ice, of the crushed variety. I bet people stop here just to buy cups of that ice.

There is a sauce bar with various sauces that were mysterious to me. I got a small paper cup of brilliant orange goop and a cup of "Milo's Special" (I think...don't quote me on that). Turns out that the burgers, by default, are slathered with that special sauce, and that isn't a feature at all. More on that below. The orange goop was okay, but would have been more apropos with calamari, to my palate.

I ordered an "original" double cheeseburger. I paid for, but did not receive, the double cheese. I didn't get any cheese. I persevered, because while I had time to stop, I was on a mission to get back home in Florida and didn't want to prolong the process. The "original" style burgers are thin, like a McD's small burger patty. They also have the texture of that cheap beef jerky that is chopped and formed. Not being hyperbolic or exaggerating: this was the worst burger that I've ever paid for and eaten (because once I pay for food--no matter how bad--it's going down my gullet. Unless the safety of doing so is questionable). Hard, finely ground and juiceless, these burgers have had the joy smashed out of them. They're like pucks of pencil erasers, and, if you play Frisbee golf, could soar 68 yards with a flick of the wrist and sustain no damage. Seriously, if I lived next to Milo's and they had free hamburger day, I'd drive 10 miles to Dollar General and buy one of those nasty $1 frozen burgers on a bun. Because those are exponentially better than the double-decker dreck that I ate today. And the Milo's Special sauce tastes like dollar store BBQ sauce with a bucket of cigarette ashes stirred in. WTH?

But, hey, those fries were delicious!

So. I scratched that off of my bucket list and have no reason or desire to ever return. But you may like it, so give it a go. The place was busy with locals when I was there, so maybe crappy burgers are a...

Absolutely Amazing Service! The General Manager Mr. Harrison and his kitchen staff went above and beyond for me and my family tonight. My family and I had a dance competition here at the Montgomery Performing Arts Conventio Center which ended later than we expected naturally when we seen the Milo's sign from the interstate we had to pay them a visit hoping they would let us sit down and enjoy a hot and fresh meal as a family and Mr. Harrison and his staff welcomed us in 25 minutes before closing time. And told us to take our time and enjoy our food, which we did. This is something that doesn't happen anymore since covid most restaurants will even close their restaurant earlier than their closing time, just so they can go home early. But not Mr. Harrison and his staff he welcomed us with open arms and we are truly grateful for his dedication to making the customer feel right at home. Kudos to you and your staff for continously checking on us to make sure we were happy and satisfied. We will DEFINITELY BE BACK IN THIS RESTAURANT the next time we visit Montgomery, AL. from Auburn Al. So a BIG THANK YOU TO MR. HARRISON (GM) and his employees for making us feel welcome. You did a GREAT JOB and we were very happy and satisfied tonight.!! Which is VERY RARE THESE DAYS AT MOST...

I visited Milo’s through the drive-through and had one of the worst customer service experiences I’ve ever had. The young lady on the mic said, “Go ahead with your order.” I said hello twice how you doing twice. When I placed my order, it was repeated back to me incorrectly.

When I pulled around, the same young lady opened the window with no greeting or courtesy — no “thank you,” no “how are you.” I handed her my phone to use Apple Pay, and she simply passed it back without saying a word. She gave me my sweet tea, and that was it. I honked to let her know I was coming inside (restroom) and she just looked at me but didn’t respond or come to the window.

I told the manager who then came to the window I was coming in. I came out the ladies room and stood in the lobby. My food was sitting on the counter the whole time until another young lady finally brought it to me. I also had to request my receipt, which showed Quanetta as the cashier.

This was completely unprofessional from start to finish. The lack of basic courtesy and attention to customers was unacceptable. I honestly wouldn’t visit this location again even if the meal were free. I didn’t even...