I've been eating at Portillo's in several places in and around Chicago since 1998. I've always had excellent dogs and burgers there. The service is usually fast and efficient.

There are lots of local favorites on the board, but the true aficionado will order at least two hot dogs. This is the venerable Chicago Dog (sometimes called a "red hot"). A Vienna beef dog nestled in bun filled with chopped onions, a "neon green" food-colored pickle relish, mild peppers, and a quarter slice of a dill pickle. Please avoid embarrassing yourself by asking for mayo or ketchup. It's considered a terrible gaffe and will instantly mark you as a tourist.

You are given a receipt with a ticket number when you pay. Then you wait near a second window for your meal to be prepared.

Portillo's is a very noisy place, and the noise usually helps to provide a fun atmosphere. If you'd rather enjoy your meal in peace you will be better off going someplace else.

When your meal is ready, a staff member at the pick-up window calls out your number. You may not be able to hear them at first (see "noisy place") and comedy ensues while you try to find out if your number has been called.

There's seems to be a simple solution to this: the staff member (I'll call them the "delivery boss") who calls out the numbers to alert you that your dogs are ready for pick-up should be provided with a high quality microphone connected to a high quality sound system; then they can effortlessly announce it over the speakers.

The high quality system is required so that the delivery boss's calls are not a garbled, noise-filled, unfathomable mess, as one can experience any day at other fast food places. We've all pulled up to a drive-thru to be greeted with "Wel--- to ---Dona--'s. May - ---ke --ur (unintelligible)."

Since "Oldies" recordings are constantly playing over the sound system, it seems reasonable to use that same system to call out your food order's number.

But Portillo's always presents itself as a 50s/60s vibe hotdog stand, so it's appropriate to have a colorful character calling out the orders. When I last visited the Portillo's in Harwood Heights, the delivery boss shouted out the order number with a rhyme ("322 - ready for you!").

It's a fun little touch if you're forced to try to figure out what's just been said. If you are accompanied by someone, you will almost always have to ask that person "what number was that?" to which said person will be almost be guaranteed to respond "Huh? No idea." If nothing else, this interaction can provide a little bonding over a shared cluelessness.

One other bothersome thing. There are no drink fountains as are standard in most fast food places now. So I don't think refills are free. Even if they are, you'll have to go back to the counters to request one.

All in all, Portillo's is a great place to get a dog, a burger, Italian beef, or a "Maxwell Street Polish" (as in the nation, not the furniture or silverware). The latter is a special treat and should be consumed with an appropriate level of reverence (in other words, wolf that sausage down as fast as you can; you never know when you'll get the next one).